Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally

HairyHandofDartmoor wrote: »

You were up very early (or late) by the way Carboot. Couldn't you sleep?

You're very observant:rotfl:

I didn't go to bed at all last night. I heard during the evening that my friend's husband was failing fast and her brother (who has come to stay with her for a while )was there with her and phoned me to tell me. He didn't want to leave her on her own, the end could come any time or not for a couple of days so they had no idea how long they'd be wearing the same clothes, undies etc. that they've had on since Sunday. He wondered if I could call at her house and collect some fresh clothes. toiletries etc for the two of them. She leaves a key hidden in her garden so I had no problems getting in.


Seemed strange sorting through an elderly gent's undies, I don't even know her brother:eek:. He had only brought a big suitcase full of clothes with him anyway so it wasn't too much of a problem deciding what to take for him to change into.


I stayed at the hospital a while so the brother could go and get a snack and drink and then I felt very restless and went for a long drive instead of coming straight home. It's 17 miles to the hospital anyway but I took a long detour into the countryside and had the world to myself at that time of night. Well, except for lots of rabbits that is. The lanes were full of them, startled by the headlights and scuttling back into the hedgerows. I needed to keep my wits about me:rotfl:.


When I eventually got home it was already 2.30 a.m. so it didn't seem worth waking OH up by going upstairs (which creak badly and he's a very light sleeper:(). I very quietly made myself a pot of tea and some toast, put the halogen heater on which I think is reasonably inexpensive for electric heating, and came on here for a while. Then I tried to settle down in the armchair to read some of my book. Couldn't really concentrate on it though, I had to read several of the pages more than once:o.


No news from the hospital yet but they know I'm on standby should they need me for anything.


Your idea of starting new traditions is a really good one:T. I hope you can find somewhere really special to walk, it will give you a happy memory of this Christmas/New Year period.

Sorry, HH, can't help with any traditions or things to do at Christmas. There's only OH and I and we don't 'do' Christmas as such any more. I cook a nice turkey dinner though because we both love it and it's the only time of year we have it. I buy a free-range locally reared one and it lasts us all week. I always make mince pies too but we have them lots of other times during the year as we love them. Other than sending a few cards to friends and family who would be upset not to receive them we do absolutely nothing else to mark Christmas or New Year. We may go for a walk but we do that anyway lots of normal days. It's different if you're surrounded by family and have children living with you, even though they're grown up.


I've spent most of the day worrying about my friend's brother. I'm sure he's showing signs of dementia, he's so confused. I'm not sure he should be driving. He completely forgot the arrangements for going straight to the hospital when he drove down the other night and went to my friend's house instead to pick her up and take her there:eek:. It threw him into a panic when the house was in darkness and he got no response to ringing the bell and hammering on the door. It was so late and there was so much noise that the next-door-neighbour went over to see what was happening. It was a miracle he happened to be at home as his house is for sale and temporarily up for rental so he'd called back for an overnight visit to check on things between tenants. He hadn't a clue where my friend had gone as he wasn't back when she was trying to arrange a lift to the hospital and phoned me so he didn't even know my friend's husband had been admitted. The brother (John) unloaded his stuff from the car and said he'd go in the house to wait until she came back:eek:. Where on earth he thought she could possibly be at that time of night I've no idea. He had no key though. The neighbour knew about the hidden key in the garden and they both went in to look round in case my friend had had a fall or something and was lying injured or worse. Sounds a nightmare scenario to me. Then, suddenly, John remembered what he'd been supposed to do, jumped in the car and set off at a scary speed without even switching the house lights off or locking the door:eek:. The neighbour, luckily was still there and did it, remembering to put the key back in its hiding place. Good job he did as I'd have never found it if John had put it somewhere. The neighbour told my friend what had happened when he popped into the hospital on his way back home and she was really concerned and told me how worried she's been about her brother for a while now. That poor lady has so much on her plate at the moment. I wish I could do more to help her.


Then, just as suddenly as John seems to lose all sense of reality he becomes completely lucid again. When he phoned me to ask me to take the clothes and stuff in he was perfectly coherent. I'm going to have to keep an eye on things as if the worst happens and my friend's husband passes away her brother will be around a lot 'helping' her. I don't want to be seen as interfering, I'm not family after all, but I can't just forget about it and say 'it's none of my business' can I ? My friend's son and family live abroad. He knows how ill his father is, I'd have expected him to have made arrangements to come home by now. I sound such a busybody, don't I? Not a nice characteristic to have:o