Self help thread. I am a widow coping getting on with it

lessonlearned · 19 June 2018 at 9:32AM

Oh Poppy. I am so very sorry to hear all this. I don't really have any experience of cancer so not sure if I can offer any wisdom. All I can say is I am sending you virtual hugs. Do take the best care of yourself that you possibly can.

Xx

humptydumptybits · 19 June 2018 at 10:11AM

Poppy that must be so hard, I'm waiting for genetic testing for the BRCA1 gene mutation which has been identified in close family members. I have waited months but have my test later this month, I got my appointment in the end by phoning the appointment line and saying I would take late cancellations, would travel to other hospitals. I am going to have to travel past my local hospital and then on the motorway for half an hour and then find the hospital in a city but it has saved me months more waiting. I don't know if you would be able to do something similar, it would be so nice for me to have a ten minute drive to a hospital I know well rather than an hour to a hospital I've never seen let alone visited but it is worth it for me.

I hope you get some support.

lessonlearned · 20 June 2018 at 11:56AM

Good morning everyone. Mortgage offer received this morning. All systems go. I have booked a proper survey for July 3rd. Just need to ensure that I'm not buying a pig in a poke. :rotfl: I don't want to be stung with a load of essential repairs at the get go. My renovation budget is going to be tight as it is.

In the meantime I shall carry on with more sorting and packing today and hopefully take a few more cuttings from some of my favourite plants. Going to have a go at taking rose cuttings, never tried it before but I had a bit of success with my hydrangea cuttings so I'm going to give it a try.

Having to really pace myself though. I am a mass of aches and pains again. I've booked a consultation for acupuncture next week. It's worth a try.

Hope you are all well.

humptydumptybits · 20 June 2018 at 2:29PM

That's good news LessonLearned. Always best to get a proper survey saves alot of worry and grief I think.

I've been very busy this morning, finished decorating the kitchen, I hate emulsioning the ceiling as it makes my arms ache but it is all lovely and bright and clean and fresh. I just have the job of putting everything back later but I'm off on the schoolrun in a few minutes. A granny's work is never done!

tooties · 21 June 2018 at 6:02PM

Hi Everyone.

I found the new thread and have just finished catching up.
I don't post often as i feel i have nothing to report. I was interested in some of you saying you felt like you have no purpose in your lives. I can totally relate to this, i feel i am just drifting, marking time really. I am stuck in a rut and i have no idea how to bring change to my life.

Anyways, my two year anniversary is coming up in July but im not dreading it, i survived last year so i will survive them all.

Still living in the same house in the middle of nowhere, but i am working on that.

For all the newcomers to the thread welcome. i'm coping with my loss a bit better than i was last year but at times i still struggle. i so want to move forward with my life but i simply dont know how.

take care everyone just keep plodding on

lessonlearned · 22 June 2018 at 7:57PM

Ah bless you Tootles....I agree it's hard to know where to start to rebuild our lives isn't it.

There are times when I feel like I'm just wandering around, lost in some strange No Man's Land, trying to find a way out. But there are no signposts. :rotfl:

Torry_Quine · 22 June 2018 at 9:48PM

I'm not coping at all. Five months today and I remember every minute

[Deleted User] · 23 June 2018 at 8:21AM

Hang in there torry, still early days and you need to get through all the special dates before you see the road ahead

Poppy, I am sure your daughter cares deeply but not showing interest is her way of trying to whitewash what is happening to you, she is too scared to admit it, so ignores it as her way of coping. Thinking about you

I have small aims, ridiculous small aims sometimes, like seeing my gooseberries ripen and then picking them. Today, meeting my dd for lunch. A big aim, is to find that new home but smaller aims are easier to set up. Hops, I suppose. Lots of people are rudderless and lonely, even in a marriage or at work or tied with children, or too poor to do anything special

Memories are good, having had what I had, the choices I had. Down to me now and I know I am strong enough to forge my new path, by myself. The scary part, is the need to get it right

itsanne · 23 June 2018 at 3:14PM

I feel a bit guilty, but I've been avoiding this thread - don't really know why.

Sorry to hear your news, poppy. It must be very difficult indeed dealing with it these days. Other support just isn't the same. That sounds awful, but those in our position will know what I mean. No matter how good friends and family support may be, there are times when the one comfort blanket would have made all the difference.

Tooties, yes, stuck and marking time. Indeed. I am too, though kittie is right in pointing out that people can be rudderless for all sorts of reasons. It's difficult to think in terms of progression, though, when avoiding looking too far ahead. I've decided that it's okay, perhaps even necessary, to mark time for now.

Torry, what way do you feel you are not coping? This whole thing is very difficult, far harder than any of us ever anticipated. It's still very recent for you - it will become more manageable.

There's lots of good stuff going on here too, I see.

Not having been here for a while, I see definite progress.

Take care all.

lessonlearned · 23 June 2018 at 3:39PM

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I'm not coping at all. Five months today and I remember every minute

Sending you hugs, Torry. Hang in there, it doesn't necessarily get easier but I think we do eventually get better at it.

Self help thread. I am a widow coping getting on with it

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