I Stand Quietly....
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Thanks, and duely noted.It'd be worth looking into the working conditions in the games industry. Many of my colleagues used to work in that field and say that the demands put on them were excessive - they moved to other roles to avoid burn-out
,Fully paid up member of the ignore button club.If it walks like a Duck, quacks like a Duck, it's a Duck.0 -
AylesburyDuck wrote: »Totally understand you, my son's tunnel vision is with gaming, he wants to learn at college how to code with a view to going into game making.
Far from seeing his hooked to the xbox as a negative i see it as a positive that fires his imagination, and encourages him in his goal.
Most colleges provide support to students with ASD on such courses. An EHCP would guaantee it, but it is a hard thing to get later on in school life.
It is a good idea to explain that coding is usually only done on level 3 IT courses so achievement at GCSE of grades C ( in English/maths particularly) and above is important if he wants to start it straight away rather than starting at level 1or on which little or no coding is normally done.0 -
Although, DS1 is an indie game designer, and his social skills have been forced to improve since he depends on sofa surfing a lot of the time!tensandunits wrote: »You can't just walk into a job in the computer games industry, it is very competitive, as you can probably imagine. It doesn't do their social skills much good, either, spending so long in front of screens.Signature removed for peace of mind0 -
My daughter was nearly 18 when, in a "blinding flash" moment when I was wondering why "she always acts Like This", I suddenly thought "that's what autistic people do".
After googling and other research, I realised she had Asperger syndrome.
We had decided to wait until after she'd taken her a levels before telling her but just before them She and I went, at her behest, to see "the curious incident of the dog in the nighttime" after which she said " well that was a bit close to home". So I told her (in the middle of the cinema, not quite what I had planned...).
She copes much better now she understands why she has the anxiety and meltdowns. She is now coming to the end of her degree in Performance :T
Her "thing" has been role play, comicon, that sort of thing.
We are not sure what the future holds, if the performing doesn't work out, but for now are going with it.
We always knew she was different, and now we know why we wonder how we didn't realise sooner :rotfl:
She is beautiful and quirky and a little bit strange (and sometimes quite frustrating
) - and all the better for it. Thank you for the thread. I wanna be in the room where it happens0 -
AylesburyDuck wrote: »This is a thread with regard to people with Aspergers, social skills are not high on the agenda so that point is moot.
I dont see anybody implying that its an easy job to walk into either.
I think your opinion while probably valid in the NT world, has no real substance in a thread about Aspergers/ASD/HFA.
Just my opinion.
On the contrary, Asperger's is defined as a significant difficulty with social interactions and communication along with repetitive behaviours and interests. Social skills are actually the whole point here. Sensory sensitivities come with.
I enjoyed reading 'I stand quietly' very much. Parents of children on the spectrum have to cope with so much. Knowing that a child needs the benefits of being hugged and touched and played with, yet they are unable to cope with that contact, must be excruciating. And putting up with all the judgement on top. What a lovely piece of writing, thanks for that.
Robisere, finding something you're good at is beneficial to us all and I'm glad your grandson has done that. You sound so proud of him. That's lovely. However, the idea that people with Asperger's are more likely to be more intelligent is a myth that really needs to be dispelled. Your grandson's interest in computers is partly the result of a kind of over- attention to minute detail that comes with this condition. It serves your grandson well while he's programming, but in a social situation with real live people leaves him vulnerable. There is some evidence that multi player computer games can help. They may be a way to help him interact with others without stressing him too much. Maybe worth looking into.If you know you have enough, you're rich.
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I think maybe you've misunderstood my post, of course social activity's are difficult, thats why i said i thought their post was moot, its not something that should be forced on an Aspie (which their post implyed), or is their another point you're making that i've genuinely missed, i do tend to read things very litterally and my replys tend to be short and to the point, maybe that was the problemOn the contrary, Asperger's is defined as a significant difficulty with social interactions and communication along with repetitive behaviours and interests. Social skills are actually the whole point here. Sensory sensitivities come with.
I enjoyed reading 'I stand quietly' very much. Parents of children on the spectrum have to cope with so much. Knowing that a child needs the benefits of being hugged and touched and played with, yet they are unable to cope with that contact, must be excruciating. And putting up with all the judgement on top. What a lovely piece of writing, thanks for that.
Robisere, finding something you're good at is beneficial to us all and I'm glad your grandson has done that. You sound so proud of him. That's lovely. However, the idea that people with Asperger's are more likely to be more intelligent is a myth that really needs to be dispelled. Your grandson's interest in computers is partly the result of a kind of over- attention to minute detail that comes with this condition. It serves your grandson well while he's programming, but in a social situation with real live people leaves him vulnerable. There is some evidence that multi player computer games can help. They may be a way to help him interact with others without stressing him too much. Maybe worth looking into.
My son chooses not to be social, a lot of Aspies do, he on average interacts "socially" with others (his peers) maybe one a month if were lucky, but its not something we care to force upon him, because as you'll know (i'm assuming you have direct knowledge of Aspergers), with a lack of enjoyment of social situations comes a fair whack of anxiety about it to boot.
He does however *game online* with his peers daily.
My mother used to force me into social situations, and it's something i've refused to do with my son unless 100% needed. Forcing a situation means the stress comes out in other ways, meltdowns, and genuine ill health.,Fully paid up member of the ignore button club.If it walks like a Duck, quacks like a Duck, it's a Duck.0 -
AylesburyDuck wrote: »My youngest son aged 16 got his diagnosis of Aspergers late last year, during his assessments it became apparent to me and the rest of my family that i have it too. As a girl born in the 1960's i totally flew under all radar, and coping and masking were all mastered by my mid teens, it's been nice to find out that i'm not a totally alien species as sometimes an Aspergers brain can think.
There has been a lot of publicity in the last year or so about girls and autism and how autistic girls present differently from autistic boys. Autistic girls blend in more with peers, for example having detailed knowledge of one direction makes you cool, whereas boys having detailed knowledge of trains or buses makes them stand out. As a teacher it makes interesting reading
Channel 4 did a feature https://www.channel4.com/news/girls-affected-by-autism
An interesting article on standard issue magazine http://standardissuemagazine.com/voices/see-not-get-life-female-autistic/0 -
AylesburyDuck wrote: »I think maybe you've misunderstood my post, of course social activity's are difficult, thats why i said i thought their post was moot, its not something that should be forced on an Aspie (which their post implyed), or is their another point you're making that i've genuinely missed, i do tend to read things very litterally and my replys tend to be short and to the point, maybe that was the problem
My son chooses not to be social, a lot of Aspies do, he on average interacts "socially" with others (his peers) maybe one a month if were lucky, but its not something we care to force upon him, because as you'll know (i'm assuming you have direct knowledge of Aspergers), with a lack of enjoyment of social situations comes a fair whack of anxiety about it to boot.
He does however *game online* with his peers daily.
My mother used to force me into social situations, and it's something i've refused to do with my son unless 100% needed. Forcing a situation means the stress comes out in other ways, meltdowns, and genuine ill health.
I suppose it depends what form the "force" takes and what parameters are in place. None of us want to think of our children being isolated or alone in later life when we may not be around to support them. So, allowing or facilitating the social isolation of someone on the spectrum is not necssarily doing them any favours. You appear to have formed a relationship and produced a child so the force applied by your mother may have had a positive outcome even if at the time you found it difficult.
Locally, we have a designated social centre for those with ASD run by those with ASD for others with ASD. It is often hard to get them there on the first few occasions but with parental chivvying it can be a great place to engage in social interaction with those who have the same traits. From there, it seems that all social interaction becomes slightly easier.Save0 -
I would sooner wipe my bum on a Cactus than parent my child the same way my mother parented me, but there again if she had know about my ASD would she have parented me differently! Just a ponderance not a question.:think:
And no amount of *Chivvying* will get me the result you seem to think i can gain, and thats if i could actually Chivvy my close to 6ft, bigger than me, with very firm thoughts on his leisure time,16 year old Aspie.:eek:
The door is always open for me to arrange something along those lines for him, and he knows this, and he very nearly went and got his own cactus at the suggestion!
I dont hold him captive which seems to be the implication.
It's a phrase well used, but alas i'm gonna say it.
"If you have seen one person with ASD, then you have seen one person with ASD.":wall:
And while some Aspies can be Chivvied, a great amount can not.
Sorry for hijacking the thread 7DW, maybe its my ASD but i hate to be misunderstood.:(,Fully paid up member of the ignore button club.If it walks like a Duck, quacks like a Duck, it's a Duck.0 -
AylesburyDuck wrote: »I would sooner wipe my bum on a Cactus than parent my child the same way my mother parented me, but there again if she had know about my ASD would she have parented me differently! Just a ponderance not a question.:think:
And no amount of *Chivvying* will get me the result you seem to think i can gain, and thats if i could actually Chivvy my close to 6ft, bigger than me, with very firm thoughts on his leisure time,16 year old Aspie.:eek:
The door is always open for me to arrange something along those lines for him, and he knows this, and he very nearly went and got his own cactus at the suggestion!
I dont hold him captive which seems to be the implication.
It's a phrase well used, but alas i'm gonna say it.
"If you have seen one person with ASD, then you have seen one person with ASD.":wall:
And while some Aspies can be Chivvied, a great amount can not.
Sorry for hijacking the thread 7DW, maybe its my ASD but i hate to be misunderstood.:(
With the greatest of respect I have pobably been involved with more people on the ASD spectrum than most people and understand the range of issues that it brings.
My point is that the encouragement ( not force or even chivvying if that offends!) has to start from early years, the patterns are strongly ingrained by early teens and of course at that point would prove much more difficult to address.They do still need to be addressed though.Save0
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