Financial Freedom + Self Care

First Tax Bill instalment paid. £750 - £150 = £600 remaining

Will cook some food tonight for lunch. I've bought my food shopping down to under £12 per week.

Usually, I keep things to myself but this situation is encouraging me to open up to supportive people. Will spend some time with my Mum later this week, either in person or a long phonecall. I've also been referred for (free) counselling through the Uni.

I think that talking about my emotions and writing them down will help me to sleep well.

Also exercising, eating well and getting a better paid role will help. I want to be able to have a larger and fixed monthly salary so that I can really count down this debt repayment. I also know that I just need to be calmer, this is a situation that I can turn around within this coming year.

I know that I must practise patience and encourage myself to have a more positive outlook. I'm so positive when it comes to other people, I need to apply that to myself much more.

Helped set up at the homeless shelter yesterday, it went well and it felt good to work as part of a team to help others.

It's been a busy two weeks at work. Today I caught up with some outstanding work and organised my workload. Even though I felt tired (due to lack of sleep) I did feel accomplished.

I had a meeting with a few colleagues, one of them made an error last week and tried to blame me for it. I'd prefer to work together to avoid the same situation happening again. I stayed calm and expressed myself during the meeting. She got quite insulting, I kept it logical and constructive. I think that debt can make you feel more sensitive to these kinds of situations. It can make you feel vulnerable. But the truth is, she (or to be specific, her drama) is not important. I can't let others bring me down. I thought that maybe someone else who reads this thread might be able to relate. Everyone else at work is really nice and easy to work with.

I have more important things to focus on. I need to recharge and practice more selfcare. I'll call my Grandparents soon too.

Staff Christmas lunch coming up later this week. Lunch (£10) and Secret Santa (£5) and I'll wear a dress I already have and lots of layers, it's been freezing lately. I must admit I didn't want to go at first but work events like this to affect your employability moving forward. And it's Christmas, so it's once a year. I have kept things so financially lean lately that I know that this is the exception.

Jobwise the market has slowed down. I have a short list of permanent roles, so I can work on those applications over Christmas, rest-up and search for my ideal role in the new year.

HairyHandofDartmoor wrote: »

I think you handled the horrid person at work situation very well, that's exactly how I would have handled it :T.

Thanks. It's been so long since I've had to deal with someone like that at work. Did my best.

So I had my work Christmas activity/lunch today. We did a murder mystery activity first then had lunch. I was placed in the middle of a great team and I had a real laugh with them. Everyone brought skills and ideas to the task and we cheered eachother on and enjoyed ourselves. We solved our mystery just in time and although I was reluctant to go at first, I had a great time and liked being a 'detective'. It really helped to take my mind off the debt and it was great to do something fun and different.

During lunch, we also exchanged Secret Santa gifts. I bought mine last night and I don't think that the recipient was impressed. Lol. It was a cute mug. He wasn't impressed with the lunch either. To each their own. I felt a bit dissapointed for a moment, because for me, it was an unexpected expense to even buy a gift but he has the right to like or not like something. Also I recieved a lovely thoughtful gift from someone. A small motivational career/creativity book. I was touched.

The unpleasant person I mentioned earlier has been avoiding eye contact with me since last week (prior to the mistake they made) and whispered to him that I bought him the gift, well I think she did. At first I thought, "What's the point in behaving like that? We're adults". But people carry themselves as they choose to - even if they choose to behave in ways that are silly and strange. She tries to avoid me even though our roles require us to communicate and help eachother. That's fine, I'll leave her be and communicate when it's related to work - no small talk.

To be honest, I have no hard feelings. Another colleague suggested that she's acting poorly due to her own personal problems. I'll just assert myself when required and focus on my work - and there is plenty of it at the moment, which is a good thing.

Do unpleasant or rude people annoy or irritate me? Yes, sometimes in the moment but I can learn something from the situation and move on. I can also focus on how I treat others and how I can improve as a person.

I know that I deserve to pay attention to my situation and to improve my life. I'm someone who has worked so hard since I was 15 through paid work, volunteering, studying, interning and I deserve to have money in the bank to show for my hard work. I need to manage and take care of my money and also my own gifts and talents, because they are also a type of abundance and wealth also. I also need to stop thinking about what I should have done and could have done. As the song goes..."shoulda, woulda, coulda"...oh the song is by Beverley Knight.

Today I turned my thoughts to the higher paid job I want, as well as lifestyle and life-path changes and decisions that I'll be making in the coming year. Those are the things that matter. I can do this. It's scary to face up to things and to make a change, be vulnerable, try a different approach. But really it's a must. I grew up in a rough neighbourhood and I can create a must better lifestyle and future for myself and my future family. I'm willing to do the work that is required to make those changes.

Also, people I've reached out to reconnect with have started to reach out to me too. I invited two colleagues for lunch, they would both like to join me. They both have creative interests too and I'm enjoying getting to know them so I'll schedule something.

I've been coming up with melodies on my way to work. Haven't done much creatively lately. I'd like to sing more.

I slept for three hours last night! That might not sound like much, but for me it's a relief. I have been exhausted for a month. No sleeping pills used and I can get back to a full night's sleep in time. Thank goodness. I look forward to longer peaceful nights.

Positive song: I Feel Good by Traces of Blue

You can find the song on Youtube, it was a recommendation from my sister. Truly uplifting.

As always, I really appreciate every single one of you who reads this thread. Thank you to everyone who has contributed positive encouraging comments and thanks to the lurkers.