Advice needed

sheramber · 2 December 2017 at 8:03PM

Your wife may see something you do not.

We had two people come to out training class.

The female was obviously becoming interested in the male.

The male had marriage problems but was still living with his wife.

Several months after he eventually split up with his wife 9 the reason was her unacceptable behaviour , nothing to do with him) he realised the female's interest in him.

They have now been together for many years.

He was surprised that we all knew the female was 'after' him as he did see the efforts she was making to be with him at events, workshops etc. He just saw her as one of the crowd.

seven-day-weekend · 2 December 2017 at 9:15PM

I wonder if Henry expected us to say his wife was being unreasonable so that he could carry on with a flirtatious relationship with the young woman with a clear conscience?

I don't think it is more than that; but I agree with others - something happened on that day out.

Henry, put your wife first, she is unhappy.

ska_lover · 2 December 2017 at 10:52PM

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I wonder if Henry expected us to say his wife was being unreasonable .

This occurred to me, and some people did begin to go down this route with the mention of Menopause being at the root of it, which I found rather astounding to be honest

Tabbytabitha · 2 December 2017 at 11:14PM

ska_lover wrote: »

This occurred to me, and some people did begin to go down this route with the mention of Menopause being at the root of it, which I found rather astounding to be honest

Not to mention the poster who said that this was controlling behaviour so he should get together an emergency fund in order to flee an abusive marriage!

seven-day-weekend · 3 December 2017 at 2:05AM

ska_lover wrote: »

This occurred to me, and some people did begin to go down this route with the mention of Menopause being at the root of it, which I found rather astounding to be honest

I mentioned menopause. I just meant that maybe his wife was feeling particularly vulnerable because of it, not that she was acting unreasonably.

-taff · 3 December 2017 at 4:37AM

henry24 wrote: »

To try and answer some points,I have tried asking her what's wrong but never get an answer , we have no children, she wants all contact between us all to stop and it has for the last 4 weeks but every day she keeps going on about her. friend has been single all the time apart from the odd boyfriend.

I thought I'd quote this for all the people who haven't obviously read it and keep asking have you asked her what's wrong.

So, if she won't tell you what's wrong, then you'll have to keep asking in new and different ways.
Try starting with, I know you're upset, but I don't understand what's changed to make you feel like our joint friendship with wotsername and baby wotsername is over. Did something on the day out we had? Did I say or do anything to make you feel that the friendship is suspect in some way?
End with something along the lines of , Our friendship with wotsername and the baby wotsername is important to me, but you are more important, and I'd like to get the bottom of what the problem is. PLease can we discuss this?

If she's the type of person who is not going to etll you and just sulk, then there's nothing much you can do except decide whether it's wotsername and child, or your wife.

Also, if the friendship is definitely over, then one of you will be telling the wotsername, so bear that in mind too.

Pollycat · 3 December 2017 at 9:25AM

-taff wrote: »

I thought I'd quote this for all the people who haven't obviously read it and keep asking have you asked her what's wrong.

So, if she won't tell you what's wrong, then you'll have to keep asking in new and different ways.
Try starting with, I know you're upset, but I don't understand what's changed to make you feel like our joint friendship with wotsername and baby wotsername is over. Did something on the day out we had? Did I say or do anything to make you feel that the friendship is suspect in some way?
End with something along the lines of , Our friendship with wotsername and the baby wotsername is important to me, but you are more important, and I'd like to get the bottom of what the problem is. PLease can we discuss this?

If she's the type of person who is not going to etll you and just sulk, then there's nothing much you can do except decide whether it's wotsername and child, or your wife.

Also, if the friendship is definitely over, then one of you will be telling the wotsername, so bear that in mind too.

I have a sneaky suspicion that Henry knows exactly what's wrong with Mrs Henry. :whistle:

-taff · 3 December 2017 at 1:10PM

I suspect he knows yes, but she won't say, which is exactly the same thing as not knowing.

Pollycat · 3 December 2017 at 1:13PM

-taff wrote: »

I suspect he knows yes, but she won't say, which is exactly the same thing as not knowing.

I don't think it is the same thing.

If he knows but she hasn't confirmed it i.e. 'won't say', then he does know.

Tabbytabitha · 3 December 2017 at 1:13PM

-taff wrote: »

I suspect he knows yes, but she won't say, which is exactly the same thing as not knowing.

Is it?.....

Advice needed

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