Early-retirement wannabe

mgdavid wrote: »

I gave it all the attention it deserved.
I see the full explanation of the poster's modus operandi has resulted in a marked lack of response from the feminazis...

There is a big difference between 'managing' and 'controlling' someone's finances. I doubt my response would have been any different if the poster and spouse had reversed genders, or had been the same gender, or the relationship had been different.

Try re-reading the controversial post whilst imagining a different controller/controlled context. Not quite as comfortable reading if you can imagine yourself in the position of the poster's spouse.

The controversial post was unguarded and therefore revealing. The subsequent, essay-length justification was exactly as predicted: a highly eloquent, well-phrased attempt to restore his forum credibility. I felt no inclination to respond to such a carefully prepared statement.

Suffice to say that I was not surprised when the poster revealed that most of the joint assets were held in his name.

The poster may have reassured you but I remain unconvinced.

Why use a pejorative label like 'feminazi' to describe those sufficiently concerned about another's well-being to raise red flags?

When I was attached, we never knew about each other's financial affairs beyond the basics. We didn't have a joint account, he bought what he wanted, I bought what I wanted. We sort of fell into paying different household bills

We were different in so far as if I'd died before him, he would have had my pension, insurances, a business, a house. When he died, he had the smallest insurance (£5100.00), to cover the funeral and whatever was in his bank account, which was more than I expected but certainly not much.

But it was his money to my way of thinking and neither of us were of the mindset to direct the others money management. Not an arrangement that would suit many, but it did us.

OldMusicGuy wrote: »

This has been my biggest challenge, adjusting from getting a big salary to having nothing coming in (apart from my wife's small DB pension). I still find it challenging, especially when big unexpected bills come up (like they just did for an unexpected problem on our car). I have done all the numbers, I know we have plenty of money but the risk averse person in me still frets about it. It is a big shift.

I'm expecting to really struggle with this too. I've just had my last-but-one 'proper' paycheque and I'm sure I will feel really weird when I have less coming in than going out. I think I'll be okay as long as the investments keep growing, so I can see the bottom line holding up, but I do worry about how I'll react when the next big dip comes.

happyandcontented wrote: »

I think this aspect will be a really hard shift for most new retirees who have managed the finances, maybe not so much for the other partner who is not aware of the day to day nitty gritty.

only for those with variable income in retirement i.e. drawing down from investments / SIPPs / ISAs etc. If your mix is DB pensions / annuities / SP then you simply have multiple 'paydays' every month.

happyandcontented wrote: »

I think this aspect will be a really hard shift for most new retirees who have managed the finances, maybe not so much for the other partner who is not aware of the day to day nitty gritty.

Not even that - my partner has not managed the finances , he just collected his salary . Now that it is not coming in he freezes with worry.
Mgdavid,, that is what I would do or hoped he would. He has not set things up though and when I said it would make sense to have one withdrawal monthly on a particular day he responded he is fine with doing it in dribs and drabs!