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  • FIRST POST
    • SandraX
    • By SandraX 28th Nov 18, 12:19 PM
    • 766Posts
    • 489Thanks
    SandraX
    Your biggest regret
    • #1
    • 28th Nov 18, 12:19 PM
    Your biggest regret 28th Nov 18 at 12:19 PM
    I have two on equal footing.
    1. Looking at my ex-husbands' phone. (Saw my husbands messages, sexy/flirty ones, got me suspicious, dug and dug deeper and found out my he was deceiving me and he then left me - so regretted looking at his mobile)

    2. Sharing a secret with a friend/work bout my one mistake ie a criminal record, ie assault.
    (I was provoked by my sisters' ex so I slapped him and he called the police) My pretend friend
    shared this secret with another, they told personnel and I lost my job as a cleaner in a hospital for not disclosing the truth.

    What regret/s do you have?
Page 1
    • 74jax
    • By 74jax 28th Nov 18, 12:58 PM
    • 4,938 Posts
    • 6,901 Thanks
    74jax
    • #2
    • 28th Nov 18, 12:58 PM
    • #2
    • 28th Nov 18, 12:58 PM
    1 - surely your regret is marrying him? not finding out?




    I don't think i have any..... certainly can't be that big as they don't come to mind.
    Forty and fabulous, well that's what my cards say....
    • Comms69
    • By Comms69 28th Nov 18, 1:03 PM
    • 7,687 Posts
    • 8,330 Thanks
    Comms69
    • #3
    • 28th Nov 18, 1:03 PM
    • #3
    • 28th Nov 18, 1:03 PM
    I'm guessing the assault was whilst you were working at the hospital - the rules about disclosure are quite strict.


    In any case - my biggest regret. Trying to fix a relationship for 8 years, which to be honest clearly didn't work after the 3 year mark.
    • candygirl
    • By candygirl 28th Nov 18, 1:04 PM
    • 27,244 Posts
    • 115,572 Thanks
    candygirl
    • #4
    • 28th Nov 18, 1:04 PM
    • #4
    • 28th Nov 18, 1:04 PM
    Not listening to my Mum !!! She really did know best
    "You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf"

    (Kabat-Zinn 2004)
    • stormbreaker
    • By stormbreaker 28th Nov 18, 1:37 PM
    • 2,177 Posts
    • 6,074 Thanks
    stormbreaker
    • #5
    • 28th Nov 18, 1:37 PM
    • #5
    • 28th Nov 18, 1:37 PM
    Not listening to my Mum !!! She really did know best
    Originally posted by candygirl
    Listening to my Mum too much! I would have had a completely different life if I had not
    • ManofLeisure
    • By ManofLeisure 28th Nov 18, 1:42 PM
    • 499 Posts
    • 1,260 Thanks
    ManofLeisure
    • #6
    • 28th Nov 18, 1:42 PM
    • #6
    • 28th Nov 18, 1:42 PM
    No regrets because I don't believe in ''looking back''. Always felt it's more important to ''keep looking ahead''.
    • moneyistooshorttomention
    • By moneyistooshorttomention 28th Nov 18, 1:42 PM
    • 17,561 Posts
    • 49,179 Thanks
    moneyistooshorttomention
    • #7
    • 28th Nov 18, 1:42 PM
    • #7
    • 28th Nov 18, 1:42 PM
    Probably mine boils down to - having been far too naive for my own good for far too long.

    I could probably have done with having a hefty dose of cynicism about things way sooner than I did....

    So these days it's "majoring on doing the best I can in available circumstances" (yep....I've been called a survivor more than once....which I take as a compliment) whilst still maintaining a watching brief so to say for any chances that come along to move my life in a more "ideal for me" direction.
    Last edited by moneyistooshorttomention; 28-11-2018 at 1:45 PM.
    • SSDD23
    • By SSDD23 28th Nov 18, 2:16 PM
    • 683 Posts
    • 1,917 Thanks
    SSDD23
    • #8
    • 28th Nov 18, 2:16 PM
    • #8
    • 28th Nov 18, 2:16 PM
    Being an introvert and too shy in my teens to the point that I don't have any non-work friends in my 20s
    "The harder you work for something, the greater you’ll feel when you achieve it"
    • comeandgo
    • By comeandgo 28th Nov 18, 2:33 PM
    • 2,488 Posts
    • 3,368 Thanks
    comeandgo
    • #9
    • 28th Nov 18, 2:33 PM
    • #9
    • 28th Nov 18, 2:33 PM
    Not playing more with my children when they were little.
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 28th Nov 18, 2:43 PM
    • 21,780 Posts
    • 58,961 Thanks
    Pollycat
    1) Wasn't it better to know than to continue being deceived?


    2) Your "friend" did the right thing. The mistake was assaulting someone and lying about it.
    Originally posted by Sunny Intervals
    I can't argue with this ^^^^.


    The OP's 2nd regret shouldn't be about sharing a secret but about lying to HR.


    Two can keep a secret if one of them is dead.
    • suejb2
    • By suejb2 28th Nov 18, 2:46 PM
    • 1,497 Posts
    • 2,292 Thanks
    suejb2
    Regret
    Reading this post!
    Life is like a bath, the longer you are in it the more wrinkly you become.
    • Comms69
    • By Comms69 28th Nov 18, 2:48 PM
    • 7,687 Posts
    • 8,330 Thanks
    Comms69
    Not playing more with my children when they were little.
    Originally posted by comeandgo


    Me too. Working FT, and for periods 7 days a week, to provide. But missing out massively.
    • Sunshinesally
    • By Sunshinesally 28th Nov 18, 3:20 PM
    • 184 Posts
    • 352 Thanks
    Sunshinesally
    Not having more children
    • SandraX
    • By SandraX 28th Nov 18, 3:40 PM
    • 766 Posts
    • 489 Thanks
    SandraX
    I'm guessing the assault was whilst you were working at the hospital - the rules about disclosure are quite strict.


    In any case - my biggest regret. Trying to fix a relationship for 8 years, which to be honest clearly didn't work after the 3 year mark.
    Originally posted by Comms69
    If you bother to read my post you;d noted that it was before my employment.
    But don't worry as I've met people like you before.
    • SandraX
    • By SandraX 28th Nov 18, 3:42 PM
    • 766 Posts
    • 489 Thanks
    SandraX
    Not having more children
    Originally posted by Sunshinesally
    You are lucky in a sense as i have met people that decide to have none and regretted it.
    • SandraX
    • By SandraX 28th Nov 18, 3:44 PM
    • 766 Posts
    • 489 Thanks
    SandraX
    Not having more children
    Originally posted by Sunshinesally
    Not playing more with my children when they were little.
    Originally posted by comeandgo
    A good one. I only realised this fact when I became a granny eg the time I give to my grandchild is about 90% more as i was working 50 hours plus a week.
    • Comms69
    • By Comms69 28th Nov 18, 3:46 PM
    • 7,687 Posts
    • 8,330 Thanks
    Comms69
    If you bother to read my post you;d noted that it was before my employment.
    But don't worry as I've met people like you before.
    Originally posted by SandraX


    Huh? People like me?


    Firstly your post doesn't say it was before your employment there.


    And given it was a hospital they would've done a CRB / DBS check. So It's difficult to see how you could've hidden the conviction if it was before your employment.


    But hey whatever, I wasn't actually having a go at you.
    • SandraX
    • By SandraX 28th Nov 18, 3:47 PM
    • 766 Posts
    • 489 Thanks
    SandraX
    I can't argue with this ^^^^.


    The OP's 2nd regret shouldn't be about sharing a secret but about lying to HR.


    Two can keep a secret if one of them is dead.
    Originally posted by Pollycat
    Very sad poster.
    • onomatopoeia99
    • By onomatopoeia99 28th Nov 18, 3:48 PM
    • 5,354 Posts
    • 12,015 Thanks
    onomatopoeia99
    Being an introvert and too shy in my teens to the point that I don't have any non-work friends in my 20s
    Originally posted by SSDD23
    I am both an introvert and shy (they are different things) and probably about twice your age.

    I have a handful of close friends (at the "would invite to my wedding if I ever have one and make sure the date is one they could attend" threshold) and rather more accquaintances. One from secondary school, one a former work colleague that left our company seven or eight years ago, one from a hobby, one from my time online gaming 15 years ago (Everquest) and one that was initially a friend of hers, but is now simply another of my friends.

    All of them I see very occasionally (introvert - socializing is really tiring so I have to restrict it), I don't have this regular social group that some people have. I accumulate friends very slowly, when I was mid twenties I'd met exactly one of the people listed above.

    So, don't despair, you have time yet.

    Oh and of the five people I listed above, three are women (I'm not). Some people find that odd.
    INTP, nerd, libertarian and scifi geek. Home is where my books are.

    5.2kWp system, SE facing, >1% shading, installed March 2019.
    • SandraX
    • By SandraX 28th Nov 18, 3:52 PM
    • 766 Posts
    • 489 Thanks
    SandraX
    Reading this post!
    Originally posted by suejb2
    Thanks as you made me laugh Are you a clown as you are funny, thanks again.
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