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Housing association letting me down!

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  • Davesnave
    Davesnave Posts: 34,741 Forumite
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    seven-day-weekend wrote: »
    My son's partner, who is also on the autistic spectrum, gets incredibly stressed if her colleagues at work (she is a school cleaner), don't clean the way she thinks they should. She has learned that she has to keep her mouth shut about it at work, but comes home and ear-bends my son and has even been known to cry about it.
    This is very like the young person I know. He would be able to progress further in his field, if only he could handle situations which require flexibility. However, he's found his niche, he's happy with it and he's solvent, so I rate that a success.
  • Davesnave
    Davesnave Posts: 34,741 Forumite
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    jackoftrade wrote: »
    UPDATE:
    I think some of your views are not needed, I am very open to constructive criticism but please can I ask some of you to stop degrading me. It's my first time moving out so please respect that.

    I'm glad to hear the meeting went well.

    Some people's responses might seem unkind or not helpful, but this is an open forum and literally anyone may post. It's inevitable that some respondents are going to have less understanding, whatever the subject in the many different MSE forums.

    Sometimes, the lack of understanding will be an inability to imagine how others feel, rather than a lack of factual knowledge. It's just something that has to be kept in mind, especially when people don't see the real you; just some words on a screen, representing you.
  • Skiddaw1
    Skiddaw1 Posts: 2,019 Forumite
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    As Dave says, jackoftrade.


    The main thing is that the meeting went well and the HA is taking your concerns seriously. I hope you'll go on to find all the benefits of living independently outweigh any of the drawbacks.
  • phill99
    phill99 Posts: 9,093 Forumite
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    jackoftrade wrote: »
    Their version of truth and my version of truth are two different things. I have been making a log of every single fault, have photographic evidence to support my claim. I only recently moved in and I already want to get out of this place, it is a lovely flat and the grounds are really nice, but it is the actual Housing Association who are to blame.

    Well if you think a HA are difficult to deal with, I suggest you try renting from a Private Landlord.
    Eat vegetables and fear no creditors, rather than eat duck and hide.
  • gomer
    gomer Posts: 1,473 Forumite
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    jackoftrade wrote: »
    UPDATE:

    I had a meeting with a manager of the HA and a surveyor on Friday, who carried out an inspection of the property. If anything, I did them a favour as the views came from me, a resident as there were a few issues raised and they have plans to renovate the whole building and put things right. I think some of your views are not needed, I am very open to constructive criticism but please can I ask some of you to stop degrading me. It's my first time moving out so please respect that.

    Are they going to do something about the neighbours modesty issue?
  • AdrianC
    AdrianC Posts: 42,189 Forumite
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    gomer wrote: »
    Are they going to do something about the neighbours modesty issue?
    About as much as they're planning to do about any of the other complaints, but they nodded and smiled as the OP poured their heart out.
  • gomer
    gomer Posts: 1,473 Forumite
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    AdrianC wrote: »
    About as much as they're planning to do about any of the other complaints, but they nodded and smiled as the OP poured their heart out.

    My thought exactly. I think op might be in for a baptism of fire with social housing when he realises things really are not as he imagined & it takes years for any major works to get done & minor works pretty much get ignored.
  • jackoftrade
    jackoftrade Posts: 15 Forumite
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    There are a few things I want to clarify. Firstly, I am not on the Autistic Spectrum so I'd apprecatie it if some of you don't make assumptions like that. Secondly, I am only 25 and it is my first time I moved out, so I am still relatively new to all of this, let's turn the tables a bit and put you in my situation when you were around my age. Thirdly, I understand that everything requires a timeframe to fix repairs but there are some that have more of a priority than others. The issue regarding the smoke detector, yes it was a battery replacement but my Agreement states what I am allowed to repair myself and what I can't repair and was advised by the FB at my nearest garage (the smoke detectors are linked to the garage) to not touch the smoke detector so I went on that advice. I mentioned during my meeting that there appears to be a drainage issue for the whole building so they are sending out a contractor to have a look at it sometime next week or the week after.
    Here to help as much as I can and I love to hear about your money saving tips!
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 3,297 Forumite
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    jackoftrade wrote: »
    There are a few things I want to clarify. Firstly, I am not on the Autistic Spectrum so I'd apprecatie it if some of you don't make assumptions like that. Secondly, I am only 25 and it is my first time I moved out, so I am still relatively new to all of this, let's turn the tables a bit and put you in my situation when you were around my age. Thirdly, I understand that everything requires a timeframe to fix repairs but there are some that have more of a priority than others. The issue regarding the smoke detector, yes it was a battery replacement but my Agreement states what I am allowed to repair myself and what I can't repair and was advised by the FB at my nearest garage (the smoke detectors are linked to the garage) to not touch the smoke detector so I went on that advice. I mentioned during my meeting that there appears to be a drainage issue for the whole building so they are sending out a contractor to have a look at it sometime next week or the week after.

    Only 25? At 25 you're a full blown adult and have been for a while.
  • Davesnave
    Davesnave Posts: 34,741 Forumite
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    edited 9 December 2019 at 8:28AM
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    jackoftrade wrote: »
    There are a few things I want to clarify. Firstly, I am not on the Autistic Spectrum so I'd apprecatie it if some of you don't make assumptions like that.
    I'm sorry I made a wrong assumption, though being a variable spectrum, there are people affected who mightn't be aware. I didn't recognise my own minor disability for many years, until someone explained what it was and that it had a medical name.

    jackoftrade wrote: »
    Secondly, I am only 25 and it is my first time I moved out, so I am still relatively new to all of this, let's turn the tables a bit and put you in my situation when you were around my age.

    OK. At 25 one is an adult with a well-formed personality, but it's possible still to lack experience. I moved out of home at 19. By 25 I'd lived in a hostel, a house share, 'digs', a university room, another house share, a bedsitter and a flat.

    The hostel lacked privacy and I didn't have enough to eat, the house share was basic and cold, the digs were comfortable but restrictive and the uni room was very noisy at times.

    In other words, every one of the first 4 places where I lived after being at home had serious drawbacks, but there was little I could do to alter what I was offered. However, I could lessen the impact of problems encountered, such as buying extra food in the hostel and a heater for my room in the house share.

    This is what people call being pragmatic and flexible, but sometimes I just had to be patient and wait for the right time to make changes. For example, there was no chance of other students being quiet to please me, so I moved out of my noisy uni room at the end of my contract period to somewhere quiet. Until then, I went to the library to work if the halls were noisy.

    Everyone I knew in the time before I was 25 put up with similar or worse frustrations or discomfort. It was normal. If you haven't had the same sorts of experiences, for whatever reason, then you are likely to have them now. How you cope will not simply depend on your knowledge of laws, because resorting to the law is slow, sometimes expensive and should always be a last resort. Coping usually means falling back on one's own resourcefulness and maybe even breaking a few rules.

    For example, as a teaching student preparing in the evenings for work the following day, I'd sometimes have no electricity, due to a long strike which affected power stations. When that happened, I'd light candles and carry on. When the candles ran out, I made lamps from jam jars filled with paraffin and a piece of string pushed through the lid for a wick.

    God knows what your fire brigade advisors would have made of that!
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