Care for elderly single person

littlerock · 22 February 2019 at 10:38AM

An elderly friend of mine has recently been diagnosed with quite advanced cancer. He had an operation to remove the tumour and was sent home to start chemo and radiation as an outpatient. Somewhere in this process he lost a lot of weight and the treatment has been discontinued while he regains some strength.

However he is very weak, too weak really to look after himself and he is a single man with no relatives or children. I am not a close friend and do not live near enough to visit daily. I think he caught some hospital-born infection while in for treatment and so does not want to go back there as a full time patient. He has not yet reached the hospice stage.

What happens to people with cancer, who need daily support and have no relatives or friends nearby able to care for them?

pollypenny · 22 February 2019 at 10:49AM

Has he not been discharged with a care package in place? This has just happened to my aunt.

PasturesNew · 22 February 2019 at 10:53AM

As a single person, he's probably "not used to asking for help" and/or thinks "there won't be help for me" ....

It's possible that he's been asked about who is available to care for him and his "I can survive alone/there's only me so I have to do everything" attitude caused him to use the wrong words in his response... "I'll be fine...." and possibly even name dropped fictitious people who would be available to him.

Single people do that ... you become dis-engaged with a lot of society as you don't fit "the norm", so you just buckle down and get on with things and muddle your way through the best you can.

He's probably "been offered help", but the answer he gave was received as "doesn't need us"... whereas he was just hiding his vulnerability as he "didn't want to be a nuisance" etc etc.

So, there will be help .... he's probably been offered it and didn't realise, didn't realise what he could have - he's "put a positive spin" on his situation and been overlooked.

Mojisola · 22 February 2019 at 10:57AM

pollypenny wrote: »

Has he not been discharged with a care package in place? This has just happened to my aunt.

If not, get an assessment by Social Workers. Phone the Adult Team in his area.

In the meantime, look into the Red Cross Support at Home scheme - https://www.redcross.org.uk/get-help/get-support-at-home

If he has spare cash, he can pay for home carers himself.

Check whether he is claiming all the health benefits he is entitled to - depending on how serious the cancer is, he may be able to claim under the special rules which is very simple and doesn't involve filling in massive forms.

littlerock · 22 February 2019 at 3:12PM

Pastures New I think you are right and he told the hospital he had family and friends to care for him which was partly true as he had a female friend locally but she recently had to go some distance away to care for her own father who has also been taken ill, which has left him without anyone.

Care for elderly single person

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