Travelling On

[Deleted User] · 9 March 2018 at 12:12PM

Just popped in with what you might think is a strange request but I thought you wise and sympathetic folk would be the best people to ask:A

I need to write the little card to accompany my brother's funeral flowers today and I'm totally stumped by what to put:o. I've been on various websites that list suitable sentiments but I can't see anything that fits the bill. Has anyone any advice to offer please? There isn't much room on the card and I don't want anything too OTT given our fractured relationship in later years:o. Something a bit unusual might be a good idea, a quote or a couple of lines from a poem maybe.

I'm tearing my hair out over this and have left it to the last minute as usual:o

Any advice very welcome. Thank you

Cheery_Daff · 9 March 2018 at 1:09PM

You could just put something straightforward like 'In our thoughts' CBC? Not too sentimental. I had a similar issue with my nan's funeral flowers recently (we didn't have a fractured relationship, but weren't hugely close) - I agonised but in the end nobody even looked at the card and I now can't remember what I put

I know my auntie (nan's daughter) just put 'treasured memories' on hers.

Karmacat · 9 March 2018 at 5:30PM

I've only just come on here, CBC, after you posted - but that's great feedback from Cheery. Definitely something simple - the standard has been "with love" I suppose, but "in our thoughts" is lovely, its both true and covering the many ambiguities of fractured times. I hope you've managed to get something that feels right to you.

This latest journey back to my mum's house, we found the results of our agonies over this very topic. Who do "the family" flowers get sent from? Thanks to family politics, this was a real live issue, and we wrote out three versions of the card. We found them **all** the last trip up, absolutely none of them were ever used, which, weirdly, kind of parallels Cheery's experience.

In case things are different in your family, put your name on - some families collect them, just like the bereavement cards are collected.

It's the 14th, isn't it? Hopefully, you've got time. Sending positive vibes in any case, its an awful time.

Karmacat · 9 March 2018 at 5:35PM

I've been gathering together the money to pay for the rest of the Norwegian holiday, which includes my sister's half. It's a lotta dosh! But so well worth it

I finally said goodbye to my green needlecord anorak from Primark **sobs loudly and demonstratively**

after at least ten years. Best value outerwear I ever had, it must have cost an old ha'penny per wear, I used it so much. The cuffs were frayed, a button on the cuff detailing had fallen off, and then the zip started to go. Since it cost the princely sum of £8, I feel justified in sending it off, but I cut up the back of it to be added to the patchwork stash. I have a cushion my sister started for me that has stars made from our clothing

and the green needlecord will be added to that.

Oh, and I've just done an online purchase at the Body Shop, via SB – I use their perfume as deoderant, and £10 off a £32 purchase with free delivery was too good to miss out on. No idea how many SB points that will give me, but better than a slap in the face with a wet haddock …

[Deleted User] · 9 March 2018 at 7:30PM

Thanks very much for your sound advice, Cheery and KC. I just knew this was the place to come for help with my dilemma:T

I think SIL is expecting there being lots of flowers and wreaths. My brother had lots of friends. All his former work colleagues from various jobs stayed in touch even when they retired. Schoolfriends, even from Primary school, have stayed close for decades. Everyone he ever had any sort of relationship with stayed in touch with him for life. All except me, of course:o. I've never seen anyone receive as many Christmas cards as they did every year:eek:

It's a cremation and as my brother had a wonderful garden and loved flowers they have asked for the floral tributes to be taken to the house after the service. They'll be spread out on a sort of big terrace/patio so the family can see them from all the back windows and enjoy them. I expect all the cards will be collected and viewed by lots of people so I feel I need to get mine right.

Knit_Witch · 10 March 2018 at 1:43AM

CBC hoe about something like "Remembering all the good times."?

earthgirl · 10 March 2018 at 11:08AM

Karma, I like your vow. Sometimes I don't think my toilets and sinks make it to that standard haha!!

Karmacat · 10 March 2018 at 11:15AM

carbootcrazy wrote: »

Thanks very much for your sound advice, Cheery and KC. I just knew this was the place to come for help with my dilemma:T
I expect all the cards will be collected and viewed by lots of people so I feel I need to get mine right.

I hope you're okay, CBC - I absolutely understand about the cards thing. My sister attaches a lot more importance to them than I do, and thats okay. But even *I* think that funerals are important to get right.

Knit_Witch wrote: »

CBC hoe about something like "Remembering all the good times."?

That's really nice.

earthgirl wrote: »

Karma, I like your vow. Sometimes I don't think my toilets and sinks make it to that standard haha!!

:rotfl: I bet they do! We all do what we can, when we can. Its doing too much thats the problem (not that I ever do too much cleaning

).

Karmacat · 10 March 2018 at 11:22AM

So, I've had a bit of an admin/finances time since my purchase of the Body Shop perfumes yesterday.

1. I made a Healthy Supplies purchase - lots of ashwagandha herb, which someone on here recommended (you know who you are

) and I recently saw an article about it being included in a patented skin cream, so I'm up for that.

2. Paid cc. Boring but necessary.

3. Paypal were offering me £5 to use them for a new supplier. So I did - Newly rediscovered paypal account and I needed some gas cartridges for my sweet little camping stove, so between the £5 voucher and the £5 I'd forgotten about, the gas cartridges cost me fourpence each

4. Paid the full amount owing for the Norwegian holiday. I think the SB points I already received may only have been for the deposit, I'm not quite sure. This could be quite fun

5. SB emailed me confirming I'll get 224 points for my Body Shop purchase ... thats about £2. Which helps.

6. Email from the woman who wanted to use my photographs for the cat book: do I want my website included. Thats a more difficult decision than it sounds, because the **writing** isn't as fun as the looking-at-cute-cat-pictures. So I'm going to ask her to use my facebook page web address, or maybe flickr, which I'll therefore feel better about using more.

Thats it, my admin is done for the day

Just hobby time now

daisy_1571 · 10 March 2018 at 11:37AM

Cbc if you pop in before you have to write the card i don't know if you are aware of the dragonfly symbolism around death but if you have enough space Gayle Shaw Cramer wrote 'we leave our human body behind so we can soar like a dragonfly, free from any human pain or suffering' if you have time have a look at the poem, it's really nice.

These other suggestions are lovely too, simple yet meaningful

Daisy xx

Travelling On

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