Help... I feel like my head is about to explode :(

So you've been with this new guy for a couple of months and yet you can't have one night on your own without him going out and getting "smashed" in retaliation?

To be honest, he sounds like the problem, not your ex, and your feelings about your cancelled wedding (which are perfectly normal, you'd have to have a heart of stone not to look back without some regrets or thoughts of "what might have been")

You shouldn't have to spend every single minute of your spare time with your new man, you have a perfect right to time alone and time with your friends and family, without him. When I met my (now) husband, we moved in together after only 3 months or thereabouts. But we still had time apart, I would spend a night in alone when he was out with his friends or his kids, and he was quite happy for me to go clubbing with my mates, even if he had no plans to go out for the night. You shouldn't have to "ask" for a night or two off, you should be seeing him when YOU want to, not when he expects you to.

You need to have a chat with your current squeeze and tell him that you'll happily see him a couple of times a week and at weekends (or whatever suits you) Don't put up with sulks or tantrums, this is the start of controlling behaviour and it can be very hard to break out of that cycle when it becomes embedded in a relationship.

If you want to spend an evening crying over your cancelled wedding, that's perfectly fine. Get it out of your system, you'll feel much better afterwards, and probably a bit daft too. You left your ex for a good reason, that doesn't mean that you're not allowed to think about him ever again. But wallow for a bit, then go out and have some fun. And if your boyfriend doesn't like it, then tough.....that's his problem, not yours.

I think you know deep down the current BF isn't right and you are worrying about being single again, especially around the wedding date and feeling like a failure (you're not!). Next year, you won't even remember what date the wedding was for.


You're focussing on the wrong thing to distract yourself from your current relationship probs.

Tempus01 wrote: »

I wouldn't say I'm worried about being single and I am more than happy in my own company I think everything is just getting on top of me, so everything seems like a big deal and I'm overthinking everything

He sounds very controlling - and anyone who looks for petty excuses to go get blind drunk has issues (probably with alcohol). It's only 2 months, not 2 years. If anyone spoke to me like that, I'd dump them. You say it's 'amazing' so I guess he must be doing something right...

OP also mentioned that he "had a go" at her.....not ok, just because she wants a night alone.

If they had made plans to go out and she cancelled at the last minute, I could understand him being annoyed, but this sounds like him having a tantrum because she didn't want to see him for one night. Personally, I don't think he had any right to "have a go", although getting drunk is obviously his choice and his business.

It sounds a little like emotional blackmail to me though....