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  • FIRST POST
    • JennyJukes
    • By JennyJukes 20th Jul 19, 3:10 PM
    • 177Posts
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    JennyJukes
    Saving for..?
    • #1
    • 20th Jul 19, 3:10 PM
    Saving for..? 20th Jul 19 at 3:10 PM
    I'm not quite sure yet! But I would like to stop wasting money and be more accountable with it!

    A little bit of background context:

    I'm 26 and live alone with no family around me. I left an abusive relationship 2 years ago and became homeless. I spent most of my then 8000 savings, some necessary some not. I went on several holidays and outings, bought a nice computer, furnished a property I got and bought myself a whole new wardrobe. Sometimes I feel guilty at the amount of money I spent but a lot of it was a coping mechanism. I am now in a much more stable and happy situation and would like to start being more accountable with my money.

    I recently moved, having been placed in the roughest council estate of my town and the anti-social behaviour was really bad. I am nearing the end of my biggest debt so I put it towards renting a nicer property. Not MSE but so much better for my mental health!

    I am also in a new relationship. My partner is here on a study visa for the next 1-2 years. After that, who knows? Maybe he'll get a job here, maybe we'll move somewhere else, maybe we won't be together. As such, I have no idea where my life is going to take me in the next few years so I don't want to commit to anything but I also want to be prepared because life has taught me it doesn't always work out the way I plan!

    Until then, my goals are to:

    1) Stick to budgets and save the rest.
    2) Get a better paying and more stable job.
    3) Only buy what I can afford - no more financing/debt. Save for what I want.
    4) Have fun with my money! I don't want to lambaste myself for having an occasional treat.
    5) Learn to cook more and bake.. at all

    I'm going to pop up a SOA in a bit and would love if anyone could point out where I could be saving or maximising my savings. I also sometimes see people my age (and younger) being married, owning homes, having families etc and feel a little bit bad about it so if anyone could tell me that I'm doing fine too that would be a massive help

    Thanks for reading (or at least allowing me the bandwidth to post my dull life )
Page 3
    • savingwannabe
    • By savingwannabe 8th Aug 19, 5:41 PM
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    savingwannabe
    Well done on applying for jobs and on bargain shopping.

    Jenny I don't know if I should say this but i am a bit worried about something. Im going to sick my nose in and say if he said your figure looked svelt that's nice but if he said you look 'skinny' that feels like it was not said in a nice way and he has no right to say anything that can upset you or cause you to feel doubt.

    If you feel healthy he can keep his comments to himself. Only your dr can make an informed decision on whether you are skinny or not and they will do that by looking at your BMI. Please don't doubt yourself. Stay positive and enjoy happy cooking. Don't let anyone doubt yourself you are doing amazingly well and stay strong ok.
    Christmas Fund 208 No spend month?
    • savingwannabe
    • By savingwannabe 8th Aug 19, 5:44 PM
    • 14,143 Posts
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    savingwannabe
    Well done Jenny on the cooking and also bargain food shopping and savings and applying for jobs.

    I am just going to say throw this out there I hope it is ok. I hope it is nothing but I have to say it. I hope when he commented on your weight he was being complementary - many of us would love to be svelt like you honey. Noone apart from your dr have a right to say anything that causes you to feel upset or doubt yourself.
    Christmas Fund 208 No spend month?
    • JennyJukes
    • By JennyJukes 8th Aug 19, 6:24 PM
    • 177 Posts
    • 628 Thanks
    JennyJukes
    Thanks, I appreciate the concern but it was nothing at all.

    I have body dysmorphia and I see myself as having skinny legs and arms but fat everywhere else. I'll talk about this to my boyfriend and he ALWAYS tells me I have an amazing slim but curvy body. I tell him my thoughts/worries because I trust that he will put my mind at ease or make me feel better. Anyone else would tell me I'm skinny and being stupid and not really understand that it's a mental disorder and wouldn't be helpful at all and I don't want that bother. He just said out of concern that I looked skinnier because when I'm in a bad place I tend to not eat very well.

    Funny thing is it's actually me that pokes fun at his legs - they are SO skinny. He is broad on top but his legs are extremely skinny even when he does exercises. It's a joke to us - my weight never is.

    My boyfriend isn't the most tactful of people and he does say things as he sees it but it's very rarely hurtful as it's the motive for saying it that counts. He's not perfect but he does learn when I tell him he has said/done something hurtful. After my last relationship I have decided I absolutely will never let a man make me feel small or inferior again - I would rather be single than put up with anyone that made me feel like crap. I know that I'm still young and attractive enough to find someone else but my boyfriend does make me feel great about myself and he's been a very vital part in my recovery the past 2 years.

    It's good for me to know I am looking skinnier than usual or am losing weight because I didn't realise and now I understand that I haven't been eating great at lunchtime and my routine and diet has been put to the wayside whilst I've been dealing with other things. I'll be making more of an effort with my health.

    I am genetically underweight - my mum and her sisters were all underweight until they hit menopause. I have done that 23andme and some other genetic tests and they ALL say I am genetically predisposed to be underweight! I've tried all sort of protein powders and high calories diets but I have never not been underweight. But when I was with my ex I was an unhealthy underweight then when I left him and since being with my current boyfriend I have put on weight because I have been looking after myself. Losing weight indicates something is going wrong in my life so I'm glad he pointed it out

    I have grown up all my life having my weight be insulted and then told it's a "compliment" so I really do know the difference between an insult and a comment/concern and my boyfriend is aware of that. It was said out of concern. I do still get told to "eat cake" by colleagues when I complain I'm cold and it does get really exhausting having to explain I don't gain weight easily and I need to take care of my diet because diabetes is strong in my family and I'm borderline diabetic. Not that anyone believes me because they assume being skinny means fit and healthy. Basically, yes, people should keep their nose out unless they have a real concern. My Drs do weigh me every time they see me and ask about my eating habits but I've never had an eating disorder. They do ask "you weight X, did you know that makes you underweight" ........ yup.......... painfully aware lol.

    Anyhoo, thanks again for the concern but rest assured aint nobody going to make me feel bad about myself for things I can't control (I usually do that enough to myself!)

    P.S: The Chicken Jalfrezi was a success, didn't have any rice but plenty of potatoes which I roasted and tastes absolutely amazing in the sauce.
    • savingwannabe
    • By savingwannabe 8th Aug 19, 7:37 PM
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    savingwannabe
    Bless you! I realise I posted twice as I thought I had lost one of the posts! So glad he is supportive. You are lovely don't forget it.

    PS I really want a curry. I had salmon parcels and rice. But I really want a curry. I might cook one v soon.
    Christmas Fund 208 No spend month?
    • JennyJukes
    • By JennyJukes 8th Aug 19, 8:16 PM
    • 177 Posts
    • 628 Thanks
    JennyJukes
    Bless you! I realise I posted twice as I thought I had lost one of the posts! So glad he is supportive. You are lovely don't forget it.

    PS I really want a curry. I had salmon parcels and rice. But I really want a curry. I might cook one v soon.
    Originally posted by savingwannabe
    Boyfriend is Indian so I'll hopefully be getting plenty tips on curry when he's here. I really enjoyed a Chana Puri dish when I was at an Indian restaurant recently and he asked his Mom to teach him so he can make me it when he comes here (in 1 month!)

    Luckily he's very adventurous - he grew up in a Muslim country and his parents are Hindu therefore Vegetarian (and also don't eat garlic, onion OR eggs!) so he hasn't been able to eat much meaty products. When he's here he wants to try Haggis and some deep fried foods I'll also get in some black and white pudding as those are my favourite foods and I'd love him to try! Oh... he's also never ate brussel sprouts! I LOVE! brussel sprouts. Gonna have a lot of fun teaching each other and learning new things together
    • savingwannabe
    • By savingwannabe 8th Aug 19, 8:34 PM
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    savingwannabe
    I am an Indian lol. I can only make one curry but my mum says they are kind of all the same recipe. lol. My parents are vegetarian and don't eat eggs but do eat onion and garlic. lol.

    Yum to British food. I love it. We were raised on British food. oMG Brussel sprouts - the only thing I don't like lol.
    Christmas Fund 208 No spend month?
    • JennyJukes
    • By JennyJukes 8th Aug 19, 8:55 PM
    • 177 Posts
    • 628 Thanks
    JennyJukes
    Oh interesting!

    My boyfriend grew up in Dubai and in multicultural schools so he is very westernised. We don't have any cultural clashes as he himself is not religious and we have the same values and views but his parents are very traditional and weren't very approving of our relationship to begin with. I haven't yet met them and would love to be able to connect with them in some way but that's for the boyfriend to navigate. So if you have any words of wisdom or advice in the meantime feel free

    Not sure if I mentioned but I am 5 years older than him. He is finishing up University and is still financially dependent on his parents so we have to play by their rules if we want to see each other.
    • savingwannabe
    • By savingwannabe 9th Aug 19, 8:57 AM
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    savingwannabe
    Hello my dear the advice I can give is to be happy and eventually they will come round if they are that strict. The parents in Dubai must be used to mixed race relationships I would have thought.

    Just be happy that's the most important thing.
    Last edited by savingwannabe; 09-08-2019 at 9:16 AM.
    Christmas Fund 208 No spend month?
    • JennyJukes
    • By JennyJukes 9th Aug 19, 9:59 AM
    • 177 Posts
    • 628 Thanks
    JennyJukes
    It is multicultural there but actually I didn't see any other mixed race relationships the two times I went. White people didn't look twice at us, nor did the arab population but other Indians looked, I think out of curiosity. His parents don't tend to mix and stick with other Hindu Indians.

    I think they have accepted though that he is an adult and they have benefited from him growing up in a western world and this is part of it. One of his friends commented that my boyfriend must be ashamed of his race to date outside of it but most of his other friends have dated outside of their race. We haven't had any issues from my family/friends (just some misinformed ignorant but well intended comments from the elder generation). I never think about our race it's usually other people that bring it up - I'm usually too preoccupied with our age gap No-one has ever mentioned that too - he looks older than he is and I look younger. My mom was 6 years older than my dad though they didn't last long.

    Surveys have been picking up for me since yesterday though have had to return some because I didn't have specific things eg certain emails so hopefully it keeps up. It's absolutely chucking it down here so hopefully my clients don't want to go out too much as I don't much like driving in this. Can't wait to get home and cuddle into bed. Think we're going to watch a movie together online for our anniversary date, its been a while since we had quality time as we've both been really busy.

    5 from prolific received and into savings
    Tomorrow is cancelling Virgin Media and setting up a new provider day. Cleaning out the fridge. General tidy up.
    Also need to get a haircut appointment as I have a wedding in 2 weeks and my boyfriend coming back. My hair is getting long and heavy so needs a little thinning or layering. Really need something new done as it sort of just sits there doing nothing.
    • JennyJukes
    • By JennyJukes 9th Aug 19, 2:52 PM
    • 177 Posts
    • 628 Thanks
    JennyJukes
    Yeeeep

    Received my final rent balance from my previous tenancy. 123.86 due within 14 days. I'm paying it straight out with my savings because I can. I expected this. I still have a gas/electricity bill outstanding and am actually quite concerned it hasn't come because I told them I moved out a month ago so hopefully not getting charged for something I'm not using or for someone elses! I did cancel the DD and received post saying I need to pay any bills within 14 days but haven't received any and they've closed down my online account... Might be one to call next week.

    I think it's now 230.19 into savings and 514.23 out for this pay period so -284.04. I did last month realise how much I have been taking out was more than I was putting in and that was my lightbulb moment I guess. The hardest part is going to be sticking to entertainment budgets when my boyfriend is here because I get tempted to just spend and "treat yourself" with him but he will at least be similarly budgeting and careful about his money. We've discussed this and happy to stick to a budget each month.

    I had seen in B&Ms that they were doing a promotion where you get a cinema ticket for each 10 stars you collect. One 1.99 bag of maltesters, minstrels or m&ms was 5 stars so 2 packets would get you a cinema ticket and snacks. Sadly this promotion has actually ended despite them still selling the promotional packs but would be really great if they brought it back.

    Oh well, it's my weekend Let's see how much success I have with Virgin Media and finding a new provider tomorrow..
    • savingwannabe
    • By savingwannabe 9th Aug 19, 3:38 PM
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    savingwannabe
    Well done on earnings from surveys I didn't do any this holiday and don't know where the time went. lol.

    His parents should come round. My sister who is Indian married someone of White British origin and my parents love him more than they love my sister. lol. If his parents have any sense should come round even if they have been a bit slow I am so sorry for this. It depends I think on their education level I think. Luckily my parents are v integrated. They have to be all my friends are gay men and they are my family mum and dad agree.

    I have struggled with my budget too as it's my holiday luckily I haven't done v much. Well done on you doing the surveys. Hopefully you will make up for it v soon.

    Good luck with Virgin Media tomorrow.
    Christmas Fund 208 No spend month?
    • JennyJukes
    • By JennyJukes 10th Aug 19, 1:25 PM
    • 177 Posts
    • 628 Thanks
    JennyJukes
    Virgin Media truly sucks.

    Firstly I called up to cancel and kept getting hounded as to why and telling me they can't give me it cheaper - I never asked for it NOR want it! Let me cancel.

    Next, the lady tells me that if I cancel now it's an early disconnection fee. I explain the previous man said today was 30 days notice as my contract runs out 9th September. She tells me my contract runs out June next year and I explain what happened. She said okay but 30 days notice STARTS from the day my contract ends on the 9th so I will be disconnected on the 8th of October. Errr I don't think so. She reassured me that I had paid 2 months in advance on my first payment so I won't need to pay extra or a disconnection fee but I don't understand how it's a 12 month contract if it runs September-October. She also told me they overcharged me 7 somewhere. My bills for this month is 46.11 and I have no idea how they got that figure as it should be 27 + 20 moving fee but they have it as 28.80 + 20 moving fee. I honestly don't know but now I know why they are awful and I just want out from them.

    Currently they have on my account that my contract ends in July 2020 yet on the phone they say September 2019. I have no paper trail whatsoever as they don't send emails or update your account!

    AVOID VIRGIN.

    Just means another 2 months of not knowing if they'll cut me off on 9th September instead of October and I'll be without internet whilst arranging a new one, not knowing what my bills are going to be until then or if they're going to try hold me into a contract because it says so online. Also have to rearrange my holidays as I'll need half a day to install new internet which I'll have to source all over again in around a months time. At least I'll get that 7 they say they owe me back *rolls eyes*.

    Soooo... today I put one of my curtains over my spare TV unit so it looks like a table instead Going to finally!! eat after 45 minutes on call to V. Media and put some more stuff up for sale I think then start a grocery list for next week. My freezer is pretty full but I'd like to try some new things with my recipe book and use up some ingredients before they get expired
    Last edited by JennyJukes; 10-08-2019 at 1:36 PM.
    • savingwannabe
    • By savingwannabe 10th Aug 19, 8:47 PM
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    savingwannabe
    Poor you. What a nightmare they are. I had problems with them when my salary was cut and I asked if they would reduce my package down after 15 years of loyal service. They were pants. I hope it gets sorted soon it is quite stressful although it is always nice to have a new table.
    Christmas Fund 208 No spend month?
    • JennyJukes
    • By JennyJukes 11th Aug 19, 10:50 AM
    • 177 Posts
    • 628 Thanks
    JennyJukes
    Yesterday was a nice day so I went for a walk to the store. I needed some ham for my lunch time rolls at work and treated myself to a milkshake. Still within my food budget. Got home and the heavens opened plus thunder!

    Nothing planned for today, maybe clean out the fridge but otherwise chill out.

    Budget:
    Groceries: 22.06/25
    Petrol: 40.88/55
    Entertainment: 57.80/60

    Added leftover grocery budget to savings.

    Savings this pay day
    In: 233.13
    Out: 514.12
    = -280.99

    Emergency Fund: 1656.55
    HelpToBuy: 6784.95
    = 8531.50

    9 days to payday! Still looking for a new job.
    • savingwannabe
    • By savingwannabe 11th Aug 19, 7:14 PM
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    savingwannabe
    Keep looking and the perfect one will turn up. 11 days for you three weeks for me. lol. Im going to be v careful not to waste my money.
    Christmas Fund 208 No spend month?
    • JennyJukes
    • By JennyJukes 12th Aug 19, 10:50 AM
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    JennyJukes
    So Virgin Media called me to offer me my current package at 19 for 12 months, saving 8 a month. I accepted as the other deals I was looking at was the same sort of price plus an engineer appointment and upfront costs. They said it's a 12 month contract but they could extend the discount for 6 months so I'm not actually sure what that means... He said it would be sent over on email but nothing as of yet and no update on my Virgin Media account. Their customer service and organisation is ridiculous but I didn't want to miss out on the offer.. so here's hoping.

    Really bored at work. Fed up of it but no jobs catching my eye. Also couldn't sleep last night at all, haven't been sleeping lately. Usually I fall asleep within minutes. Think I'm just stressed. The boyfriend is also having problems with his accommodation for when he moves here. Hopefully everything will be sorted soon.

    Have cashed out a prolific payment to come tomorrow, need another 50p for my next cashout. 7.03 from a cashback account received and into savings.

    I have 114.62 to last me until payday in 8 days which is doable if nothing unexpected comes.. Shopping after work today, getting enough to make about 3 different meals and weekend lunches to fill up the freezer this week. I do also need washing up liquid. I currently have Morrisons own that does clean well but you need to use a lot so doesn't last long. I did try ALDI's magnum and loved that so will be getting that. Just need to see through to payday.
    • savingwannabe
    • By savingwannabe 12th Aug 19, 5:11 PM
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    savingwannabe
    Well done on having so much money left till payday and also on great Virgin deal. Good luck with looking for jobs.
    Christmas Fund 208 No spend month?
    • JennyJukes
    • By JennyJukes 12th Aug 19, 6:28 PM
    • 177 Posts
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    JennyJukes
    Thanks savingwannabe Just really fed up of my work. I used to work 12+ hour shifts, 55+ hour weeks and wished I had an office job where I did nothing but it's not that great. I don't like either extreme and my job is great when I have that balance but right now I don't and I've fallen out of love tbh. People who have been there a long time don't see the company lasting much longer. So there's a mix of boredom and worry.

    Got the bulk of my shopping for 14.19 at ALDI. Should only need a top up of milk and most importantly, crisps and chocolate.

    Today I cleaned the fridge and text my mum to try make a little bit more effort with her.
    I also attempted cottage pie. Don't think I've ever tried it before and not sure it's supposed to taste like this but ... yum! Mega comfort food.

    Still really surprised at how little I can get my shopping for but not sure if that's just out of necessity. I wonder if I had a bigger salary would I up my budget for better quality food and more treats? A balance would be nice.

    Tomorrow I'll try book a haircut and that will be something to look forward to - it really needs done.

    I had PM'ed someone on PA after I had timed out to apologise for it and that I thought it didn't give enough time for what it was asking (you had to choose 6 adjectives for a product then write a description of the product with those adjectives!) and he replied to say he got my data and has awarded me the money! So that's an extra 2. Virgin Media email received and it looks like next month I don't pay anything due to overpaying then the following month my contract will be 19 Finally... Signed up for something called Bean which tracks your spending and where you could be saving... comes with a free 5 amazon voucher! Hopefully I can find a small baking dish to spend it on.

    Budget:
    Groceries: 14.19/25
    Petrol: 40.88/55
    Entertainment: 57.80/60
    • JennyJukes
    • By JennyJukes 13th Aug 19, 5:06 PM
    • 177 Posts
    • 628 Thanks
    JennyJukes
    5.45 into savings from prolific.. Hopefully my pending will be through so I can cash out again in Friday. 10 a week doesn't sound like much but that pays for my gas/electricity... or 1.5 weeks of groceries... or most of my petrol... so it really does add up! Do keep missing out on studies lately though which is annoying.

    I'm fed up but I'm grateful that I have savings, I have a job, a roof over my head, a full fridge/freezer and cupboards. It could be worse.

    Haircut scheduled for next week, something to make me feel a bit fresher and new I guess?

    Had a potential buyer for some curtains but turns out she needed longer ones, ah well. I checked and my advert does actually say the measurements on them so bit of a waste of time!

    Hoping my petrol will stretch to payday but will likely need to top up.

    Just gotta keep going but I can tell my mood is dipping quite a bit. Probably related to my hormones so need to keep an eye on that. Health and well-being before everything.
    • JennyJukes
    • By JennyJukes 14th Aug 19, 4:51 PM
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    JennyJukes
    Well I was unsuccessful for the job I really wanted - I think the other 2 will be the same as I had less want of them so less effort. Another job that would be perfect for me has popped up though so will get onto that asap!
    Had a bit of a rough day today, both people I interacted with were in crisis and I couldn't help the first one which is always difficult. Reminded me why I'm doing this job though, when I do make a difference it does help.

    Need milk tomorrow, will top up my lunch time rolls, and probably top up my crisp and chocolate cupboard. I really need it. Today is one of those days I wish I could just come home and have someone else have my tea ready for me, or a cup of tea, or a bath
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