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  • Hazelnutty never heard of the spoons theory, so what is it?
  • :shhh: tiptoes in quietly TT 14p tiptoes quietly out:shhh:
    CRx
  • Hi CR Here's the Wikipedia link I only read a couple of short articles so am definitely no expert, but I think it's a useful idea to help manage your energy (and work out when to say no too):

    'A person only has a limited number of "spoons" that are consumed by activities throughout a day
    The spoon theory is a disability metaphor and neologism used to explain the reduced amount of energy available for activities of living and productive tasks that may result from disability or chronic illness. "Spoons" are a visual representation used as a unit of measure in order to quantify how much energy a person has throughout a given day. Each activity requires a given number of spoons, which will only be replaced as the person "recharges" through rest. A person who runs out of spoons has no choice but to rest until their spoons are replenished'
    Choose kind:)
  • Karmacat
    Karmacat Posts: 39,460 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary
    Hello CR, I thought I'd seen you about, and decided to do some extra excavating in mfw :) hi there! You sound like you're having a rough time of it - though I see your 14p TT today :):):) which means you're still focussing back when you can.

    Edited: can you take back any of the shopping you did, the stuff you don't want?

    Total admiration and respect for what you're doing - oh, I was thinking of the food bill - do you use Healthy Supplies at all? Its veggie, you can buy in quantity, and at a slight discount.

    Spoons - I've had chronic fatigue for a while, and I love the theory, but to be honest I just talk about fatigue and energy levels.
    2023: the year I get to buy a car
  • Crumpets
    Crumpets Posts: 1,014 Forumite
    Hi CR,

    Hope you're okay, it sounds like you are having a tough time. Is DD still off school? Definitely meet up with your friend more often, like Hazelnutty says, it can make the world of difference to have some listen to you and to be able to unload.

    Look after yourself, sending hugs xx
    Mortgage March 2011 £143,927.6
    Mortgage Feb 2019 £78,323.18
  • :hello: Hazelnutty thanks for taking the time to post the link about the spoon theory. I found it quite interesting and helped me to better understand where DD2 is coming from. I think the biggest problem(s) is that we are including DD2 are not sure what size spoons she is going to wake up with. Some days its ladles and we can get loads accomplished, other days it a regular sized spoon, other days its those plastic baby spoons that you can't get alot onto and other days all the spoons are still in the dishwasher or some @+*&" has stolen them. It makes planning very difficult as a family (I like a plan) and for her as an individual. However having read abit more about this theory and with how life is turning out now, I have come to the conclusion that we need to take each day as it comes, which is easier said than done.
    :hello: Karmacat regarding the shopping hadn't thought about taking anything back to be honest as not real thinking straight at the moment.What made it even worse I'd not actual bought the things we really did need such as toothpaste so had to go back yesterday:eek:. I always have a list but went without it. I'm not sure if I could cope with them thinking I can't afford what food I'd bought if I took it back - embarrassment . Although I should have a thicker skin really when your child is creating enough fuss for people to stand and stare and give the inevitable TUT. I will have a look at Healthy supplies, thanks for posting their name. I do try to keep focusing back to been a MFW. My TT are not massive amounts but it gives me a sense of achievement.
    :hello: Crumpets Virtual hug gratefully received. DD2 went to school yesterday:j, but today was almost a miss. She got up, but had a massive wobble, refused to go to school and took herself back to bed and promptly fell asleep for over an hour( she had an early night last night as well- 630pm). She started banging when she woke up but I just ignored her and eventually she came to see me . We had a talk about things that are stressing her out and then I suggested she went into school which she agreed to :j. So I thought I'd come on here and chill for abit before I get down to more studying and try and claw back the time I've lost.
    Not TT yet but will later. So let today be a monty python day:D
    CRx
  • Walked and picked litter for about 4 miles today. Today's star find was an adjustable spanner in the middle of the road. Someone was giving away cooking apples so had a bags worth mmmmmm apple crumble and ice-cream. Managed to get quite abit done today, combined housework and studying . TT of 86p to the mortgage. It currently stands at £80,195 I would love to get it below £80,000 before 2019 starts. Need to look at how much interest will be added between now and then, this will allow me to devise a plan to get it below that number. Fingers crossed
    CRx
  • Karmacat
    Karmacat Posts: 39,460 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary
    [QUOTE=the_cross_rabbit;74961911]I think the biggest problem(s) is that we are including DD2 are not sure what size spoons she is going to wake up with. Some days its ladles and we can get loads accomplished, other days it a regular sized spoon, other days its those plastic baby spoons that you can't get alot onto and other days all the spoons are still in the dishwasher or some @+*&" has stolen them[/quote]
    Thats such a good way of putting it!
    :hello: Karmacat regarding the shopping hadn't thought about taking anything back to be honest as not real thinking straight at the moment.What made it even worse I'd not actual bought the things we really did need such as toothpaste so had to go back yesterday:eek:. I always have a list but went without it. I'm not sure if I could cope with them thinking I can't afford what food I'd bought if I took it back - embarrassment .
    Sorry, I didn't realise it was food - I'm betting there'd be Health and Safety shenanigans that would mean you couldn't be refunded. I was thinking of some Pavers shoes I bought in summer which were quality, but absolute agony to wear, I wore them on carpet for 30 minutes, and they refunded me in full.
    Although I should have a thicker skin really when your child is creating enough fuss for people to stand and stare and give the inevitable TUT.
    Anybody who's got the least experience of children will know about that sort of fuss! Poor you :(
    I will have a look at Healthy supplies, thanks for posting their name. I do try to keep focusing back to been a MFW. My TT are not massive amounts but it gives me a sense of achievement.
    Do look at them - they were recommended to me, and I pass on their name in turn, those of us who want that sort of stuff find it difficult to get. I don't buy everything with them, but a great deal.

    TT of 86p to the mortgage. It currently stands at £80,195 I would love to get it below £80,000 before 2019 starts. Need to look at how much interest will be added between now and then, this will allow me to devise a plan to get it below that number. Fingers crossed
    CRx
    That would be a great achievement - such a nice round number to get below :)
    2023: the year I get to buy a car
  • Payday was yesterday:j and DH has finally been paid for some teaching he did in June, so the extra money will be withdrawn later and put into the Christmas envelope. Hopefully it will pay for all the presents we need to buy. DD2 is having colour analysis as her main Christmas present , so appointment is booked for the beginning of December. My game face slightly slipped this morning as I bought ice cream and reduced gluten free biscuits for tonight So game face is back on and firmly secured with glue and I mean MSE business between now and Christmas. DH spent £9 on a haircut yesterday . TT of 16p OP. Spends today total £34.83. I spent £21.95 on a mooncup. I've worked out that I spend approx £24 a year on sanitary products, I've tried down branding several times but still keep returning to the same brand.So after a year it should of paid for its self. Had to buy tights for DD1 and me for wedding on Sunday. I've opted to drive on Sunday to keep costs down and not frightened to ask for water at the bar (DH won't). Wedding present is left over euro's.
    DH and I have the house to our selves tonight, so ready for a break and a lie in.Had a phone call to say DD2 support hours have been reviewed and have been put up slightly (will be reviewed again in 12 months), could cry :j. So pleased :j. Last day of term today:eek:
    Right need to focus and get on with some OU work, hope you all have a good day.
    CRx
  • Glad you have had some good news, CR, with DD's support. Getting a break when you've been up against it for a while is just the best, even when it's a small one. Have a good weekend!
    Choose kind:)
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