Not being born a son.

~_Daisy_~ · 3 February 2019 at 9:07PM

Odd title, but thats it in a nutshell.
I have 2 brothers one 4 years older, one 2 years younger.......... I'm not in my 20's anymore or 30's......... It all about the game in my Father's eyes, Rugby not Football, if it makes any difference.

At the moment my Dad and younger brother are in Ireland for the six nations, next weekend, my Dad and older brother will be at Twickerham, weekend after who knows.......

This is not a one off, this is how it has been for all of my adult life,
Next year they will go to Rome to watch the match.

My brothers do not pay to go, or not all of their individual costs.
I completely feel left behind being only a girl......and this is all season not just during this 'important' bit of the year.

I'm not sure what my question should be, but was wondering if anyone had any ideas that m,ight help me feel less unimportant.

LilElvis · 3 February 2019 at 9:23PM

Ask if you can join them?

Or ask them to join you in doing something you enjoy?

Or do something with your Mum whilst they're freezing their !!!!!! off?

pickledonionspaceraider · 3 February 2019 at 9:26PM

Is it really because you are a girl, or the fact that the brothers share a common interest with your Dad and share this camaraderie ? A lot of females love sports of all kinds

Is your Mum around and does she go to the sports events? If she is left home alone, how does she feel?

Perhaps you have more common ground with her, and could suggest something to suit - a spa weekend for example

I don't think your Dad is behaving unreasonably sharing a common interest with adult friends, who happen to be his sons....and just because someone else is having a good time, does not mean you must take the alternative stance

Some men just have more common grounds with their sons, it doesn't reflect on you at all

~_Daisy_~ · 3 February 2019 at 9:30PM

I

LilElvis wrote: »

Ask if you can join them?

Or ask them to join you in doing something you enjoy?

Or do something with your Mum whilst they're freezing their !!!!!! off?[/QUOTE

I always do something with my Mum, today for example, I cooked dinner, whilst they were off on a jolly to Ireland, went friday, back monday.

As said its not about doing what I enjoy, its about being invited to do as they enjoy.

clairec79 · 3 February 2019 at 9:33PM

Would you enjoy the game? If not that may be the reason why you aren't included rather than gender. If you do enjoy then say to your dad that you'd love to go to a game with him

I have four children, two of each gender, when we go to the football we only take two of them (well now they are older we only take two) - it's not that we take the two boys - we actually take one of each gender because they are the ones who enjoy it

PS watching a game with someone who really doesn't enjoy it isn't fun for anyone

pickledonionspaceraider · 3 February 2019 at 9:34PM

But if they invited you, would you enjoy the sports? Would you go and enjoy it?

Accountant_Kerry · 3 February 2019 at 9:34PM

Do you like rugby and want to go with them or is it the money that your dad is spending on them?

DUTR · 3 February 2019 at 9:35PM

~_Daisy_~ wrote: »

Odd title, but thats it in a nutshell.
I have 2 brothers one 4 years older, one 2 years younger.......... I'm not in my 20's anymore or 30's......... It all about the game in my Father's eyes, Rugby not Football, if it makes any difference.

At the moment my Dad and younger brother are in Ireland for the six nations, next weekend, my Dad and older brother will be at Twickerham, weekend after who knows.......

This is not a one off, this is how it has been for all of my adult life,
Next year they will go to Rome to watch the match.

My brothers do not pay to go, or not all of their individual costs.
I completely feel left behind being only a girl......and this is all season not just during this 'important' bit of the year.

I'm not sure what my question should be, but was wondering if anyone had any ideas that m,ight help me feel less unimportant.

In my family, one female sibling , eldest, the rest of us all male (and there are lots of us) , there is no favouritism in our lot.
But all families work differently and there is no text book version of what should happen.

~_Daisy_~ · 3 February 2019 at 9:43PM

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

But if they invited you, would you enjoy the sports? Would you go and enjoy it?

Yes, as a child I went often.

~_Daisy_~ · 3 February 2019 at 9:44PM

Accountant_Kerry wrote: »

Do you like rugby and want to go with them or is it the money that your dad is spending on them?

No, not about money, I know I mentioned it but no, not about money.

HampshireH · 3 February 2019 at 9:46PM

Next time your with your dad ask if you can go too

He may have no idea how you feel.

Not being born a son.

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