"It's my turn to ask for perspective" update
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You put it so much better than I did.Malthusian wrote: »
You didn't like him drinking and the level of drinking you were prepared to put up with was lower than the level of continuous sobriety he was prepared to put up with. That's one of those things we call "irreconcilable differences". Alcoholism and alcohol abuse don't really come into it.
It doesn't really matter whether you miscalculated or not.
If it's too much for you to accept, it's too much.0 -
Balderdash!
Our (UK public) frighteningly flexible approach to 'healthy' eating and 'healthy' living is what is killing us 50+: slowly, via pain and disability. Normal diet + normal activity levels + normal weight + normal drinking = epidemic of lifestyle disease.
Eat, drink and be merry by all means. But make informed choices, please, all of you. Be honest with yourselves and each other. :beer:
Obesity rivals smoking as cause of cancer, UK charity warns (2019)
New tough alcohol guidelines not scaremongering, says Chief Medical Officer (2016)
Apologies for two articles from the same newspaper.
Selected as both are light on editorial and heavy on quotes from the experts.
We do (eat, drink and be merry).
We do and have (make/made informed choices).
We are (honest with ourselves and each other).
You may disagree with my opinions on this thread but I'd appreciate it if you didn't refer to them as 'balderdash'.0 -
I regularly have a bottle of wine a day, just for perspective
Yep I know a few people who do that so you are not alone for sure. When I met my ex partner I had an inclination he was drinking at least that and may be double of it . It decreased but then hit a plato and did not reduce any further. A friend who popped in today said that they ( her and her partner) noticed my ex had an issue with drinking from less than half a dozen of times they met him. Hope nobody says it about you and that you change your lifestyle before it damages you irreversibly.The word "dilemma" comes from Greek where "di" means two and "lemma" means premise. Refers usually to difficult choice between two undesirable options.
Often people seem to use this word mistakenly where "quandary" would fit better.0 -
Malthusian , what basis do you have to state that safe dose long term is well above what makes one's behaviour change?
It is completely opposite to what I see in people all around me.
The numbers are approximate obviously as one would not know what would harm one over lifetime exactly since we are all different indeed other than in hindsight. By then it is quite late and addicitikn is formed.
In any case when one already has a few symptoms of poisoning it does not take a degree in higher math to figure out one drinks too much.The word "dilemma" comes from Greek where "di" means two and "lemma" means premise. Refers usually to difficult choice between two undesirable options.
Often people seem to use this word mistakenly where "quandary" would fit better.0 -
I do not take government guidelines as a gospel , the fruit and veggies is one good example of something even downright dangerous I believe - "5 portions "!. With 15 grapes or 1 apple or 1 banana considered one portions. Results in people eating 75 grapes a day (with fruit and veg portions having that small size resulting in non fruit and veg being main part of the diet ) and obtaining all calories otherwise from chips yogurts and burgers believing that they are an epitome of health eating.
Ooooooh nooooo!! _pale_ At least five different servings of fruit and vegetables a day .....
The Public Health England Eatwell Guide illustrates the key healthy eating guidelines in an 'easily digestible'
format.
There are NHS web pages on each food group which expand on this. For example
How much sugar is good for me? and Why 5 A Day?
SORRY but I studied/ worked in lifestyle healthcare - physical activity, nutrition, smoking cessation - for years. Hence the passion/ geekery/ preach-but-don't-practice! Declutterbug-in-progress.⭐️⭐️⭐️ ⭐️⭐️0 -
We do (eat, drink and be merry).
We do and have (make/made informed choices).
We are (honest with ourselves and each other).
You may disagree with my opinions on this thread but I'd appreciate it if you didn't refer to them as 'balderdash'.
Sorry, that Friday feeling.
The origin of balderdash seemed fitting "late 16th century (denoting a frothy liquid; later, an unappetizing mixture of drinks)"Declutterbug-in-progress.⭐️⭐️⭐️ ⭐️⭐️0 -
Malthusian , what basis do you have to state that safe dose long term is well above what makes one's behaviour change?
Other than thousands of years of observed data from human alcohol consumption, not a lot.
Your behaviour changes marginally after half a glass of wine, in fact your behaviour changes if you drink half a glass of something that you think is alcoholic but actually isn't. The human body can easily repair the damage caused by a low dose of poison like that, otherwise none of us would be here. It is a simple fact that the level of alcohol required to damage the body beyond its capacity for short-term repair is well above the level required to change your behaviour.
I have no doubt it is, but you don't like people drinking alcohol in and of itself, so your perspective is different.It is completely opposite to what I see in people all around me.
For you someone's eyes glazing over is unacceptable, for me someone's eyes glazing over when they are relaxing in the evening is normal.
There is nothing wrong with you not liking people drinking in and of itself, it's a matter of opinion. However when someone who doesn't like drinking is in a relationship with someone who likes drinking quite a lot in the evening, there are only three options: either one lives with it or the other changes their behaviour or they file it under irreconcilable differences. It is no different from a tidy person living with someone who likes to store their clothes on the floor. Different perspectives.
You define addiction as someone having a drink one evening and another the next evening whereas I define it as being unable to not have a drink the next evening.The numbers are approximate obviously as one would not know what would harm one over lifetime exactly since we are all different indeed other than in hindsight. By then it is quite late and addicitikn is formed.
The symptoms you listed in this thread are red herrings. You cannot get high blood pressure from a single night of binging causing a blackout. Blacking out after drinking too much alcohol is really bad, and if you're over the age of 20 you seriously need to grow up. But it doesn't cause high blood pressure - that's a chronic condition.In any case when one already has a few symptoms of poisoning it does not take a degree in higher math to figure out one drinks too much.
The other symptom you listed was poor dental hygiene. This would actually have been made worse by his cutting down on drinking, as you said in your previous thread that he substituted alcohol with a lot of sugary drinks. (Naturally there was nothing stopping him sticking to water, other than it was another sacrifice too far.)
Not saying his drinking hadn't caused long term damage, but the symptoms you raised are more an indication of an unhealthy lifestyle generally - poor diet, lack of exercise and bad dental hygiene. Too much alcohol is part of an unhealthy lifestyle but only part. If I told you that my boyfriend got high blood pressure because he was too lazy to brush his teeth you'd think I was cracked. On the other hand if I said that I split up from my boyfriend because I couldn't stand his blackened teeth, that would be my choice and I don't need to justify it further.0 -
Malthusian , you may want to check your facts before you dismiss what I say. Toothwear does not have anything to do with hygiene and everything with diet. Google it - wcen wikipedia gets it right. Please don't keep kn arguing about it , disclosure - I am a dentist.
Getting this one so wrong in my eyes removes credibility from your posts which is a shame as I enjoyed your contributions at savings board.
I did not say one episode of drinking caused HBP - it was just an illustration of character ! Years of drinking cause HBP. The same as a lot of other stuff.
Why do you feel you need to tell me that my partner's increasing belly was was a result of unhealthy lifestyle overall ? I lived with him, I witnessed his switch from vine to bear in an effort to decrease unit consumption and I seen the increase happening over a few months. Everything else in the lifestyle was the same. Do you have an idea how many calories are in a pint of bear? Do you realise that 4 pints of bear represent more than one third of the whole day's requirement of calories for a human? Does it take a brain surgeon to figure out how harmful either exceeding one's calorie intake by a third on most days of one's life or getting one third of one's calories from beer is? Have you ever heard the expression "beer belly"?
And how the body having no damage from half a glass of wine proves that 40+ units week after week year after year is harmless?
Can you post some links on those thousands of years of observations proving that regular consumption of alcohol over the recommended limits is safe ? (A hint - it was said with a sarcasm as that statement if yours is similar to someone telling that if you stick your hand into the flames you don't burn). But I am open to be educated on this topic as admittedly my knowledge on it is less than on tooth erosion ! So waiting for links telling me how consumption of 4 x 700ml bear 4 days/week for years is not harmful.The word "dilemma" comes from Greek where "di" means two and "lemma" means premise. Refers usually to difficult choice between two undesirable options.
Often people seem to use this word mistakenly where "quandary" would fit better.0 -
Why would a dentist think it is spelled bear?!Norn Iron Club member 4730
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