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  • FIRST POST
    • Nicnak
    • By Nicnak 10th Sep 17, 7:30 PM
    • 2,119Posts
    • 12,520Thanks
    Nicnak
    Debt Free Year
    • #1
    • 10th Sep 17, 7:30 PM
    Debt Free Year 10th Sep 17 at 7:30 PM
    Hi,

    I've pretty much buried my head in the sand over the past 15 years about debt and what it means. I've always seen it as 'normal' to have debt for things, and never thought twice about it. Recently though, I have wanted to think about cutting down my work hours, and I just can't. I can't be the mum I want to be to my 4 year old because I need to work to make sure I can pay the bills and debts. That is when it hit home, that I can't continue like this. I am having a wedding reception in December, which I know is going to take up most of my 'spare' cash, but from January 2018, I will make a difference to my debts.

    Currently have
    485 0% credit card. It was 2000 in July, So I have been ensuring that I am working on it.
    7500 Tesco loan at 3.2% - Paying 220 a month and due up in Three years
    17,450 car loan. Car is in negative equity and I'm stuck in the PCP. The car also is over mileage and has damage. I am 10 months away from handing it back, but with excess mileage and damage, I am thinking this might not be the best idea. Currently paying 351 a month for this luxury that I am thinking I don't need. (I shouldn't have got it, but I did, I can't change what I have stupidly done, and now need to work on the best options).
    I spend money every month on things I don't need, and really need somewhere to record and focus on what it is I am doing, and the inspiration to keep going when I see progress is being made.

    I've started a written diary as well to try to help. If I pay off these debts, then I know that I will be 500 better off. In April, my phone is due up for renewal, and I have already looked at the SIM only deals which will take it to the 500 a month mark.

    i am going to try to earn some extra per month to pay off the debts, which in the short term might reduce the time I have with my daughter.

    Here goes...

    I really need to do this now.
Page 50
    • Kitten868
    • By Kitten868 16th Oct 18, 6:27 PM
    • 1,226 Posts
    • 3,228 Thanks
    Kitten868
    Don't panic about the future. Focus on now. From the sounds of it you have a very kind and supportive head. You do currently have a job. You are not well and you need to stay calm and not overwhelm yourself. When you return the phased return sounds great for managing working and your health. There will never be a day they say oh we have too many teachers. Focus on your recovery and yourself. When it comes to going back pace yourself and take it a day at a time. You're doing fantastically at paying down your debts and you don't need to continue at the same level. You are becoming accustomed to a new budget and lifestyle.

    IF you can't continue being a teacher that will be fine. There will be ways around it. Other jobs, tax credits... it will all work out. You are determined and very resourceful.

    Cut yourself some slack and try and see your successes as we outsiders do. And hello again, I've not been here for a while xxxx
    Loan 1 4600/8000
    Loan 2 2600/5800
    Total 7200/13800 52% PAID

    And CC 1100/1900
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 16th Oct 18, 6:35 PM
    • 9,988 Posts
    • 79,350 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    Have you ever thought about changing to primary? Children are still nice at that age, whereas their hormones turn them into monsters when they get to secondary school (and I'm talking about my DC too ). Sorry if it's a silly idea but I just wondered if it would be a less brutal environment.
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = 58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    EMERGENCY FUND 1 = 4,005/5,000. EMERGENCY FUND 2 = 2,005/5,000.
    CHRISTMAS SAVINGS = 129.37/500
    PREMIUM BONDS ME = 150. PREMIUM BONDS DH = 50
    • Nicnak
    • By Nicnak 16th Oct 18, 6:37 PM
    • 2,119 Posts
    • 12,520 Thanks
    Nicnak
    Don't panic about the future. Focus on now. From the sounds of it you have a very kind and supportive head. You do currently have a job. You are not well and you need to stay calm and not overwhelm yourself. When you return the phased return sounds great for managing working and your health. There will never be a day they say oh we have too many teachers. Focus on your recovery and yourself. When it comes to going back pace yourself and take it a day at a time. You're doing fantastically at paying down your debts and you don't need to continue at the same level. You are becoming accustomed to a new budget and lifestyle.

    IF you can't continue being a teacher that will be fine. There will be ways around it. Other jobs, tax credits... it will all work out. You are determined and very resourceful.

    Cut yourself some slack and try and see your successes as we outsiders do. And hello again, I've not been here for a while xxxx
    Originally posted by Kitten868
    Hi,

    I have heard this a lot today for some strange reason. I think I am calm, and then all of a sudden I panic about it all, and then can't sleep, which doesn't help my health and recovery.

    It's not the teaching that is the stress, it is how unwell I am all the time, and how exhausted having the reactions, and coping with the break up is causing.

    I've barely said much about it, but the daily going over stuff with my ex drains me. we cover the same ground over and over, and no matter what I say, I can't seem to win or get it through to him.

    I'm slowly coming to terms with the amount of allergies I now have, and that my diet will be forever restricted.

    I know it sounds strange, but I keep asking how the hell do i explain this to someone? Imagine I meet someone new and they ask me out for a drink. How do I even try to explain what has happened?
    I know it is a few years in the future thing.

    Tomorrow my dressing table arrives (birthday present from my parents). I'm looking forward to setting that up, as it will make my bedroom completely different.

    I've changed the living room around, took some pictures down, and moved somethings round to make it more 'mine'.

    I guess the rest of this year will just be a slow progress kind of one. x
    September 6th 2017 - Updated February 2019
    Credit Card 0 now: 0 Dad 1500 = 0 Consolidation 15,000 = 8,900 Total = 25,330 8,900 65% gone EMF #252 = 1000/1000
    Sealed pot challenge #024
    Pay off all your debts by Christmas #071
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 16th Oct 18, 7:22 PM
    • 9,988 Posts
    • 79,350 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    I think you should refuse to talk to your ex every day as it's causing you so much stress. Agree to talk to him once a week. He can make a list of everything he wants to discuss and then go through it on a weekly basis. The stress isn't helping you to recover.

    With regard to the allergies, then if people like you they will understand. My sister met and married a man with one arm. It didn't put her off because she loved his personality. What are a few allergies compared with that?

    Try not to worry. Your illness has magnified all your worries and made you feel like you can't cope with them, but you can.

    Be kind to yourself and don't beat yourself up. You're going through a tough time.
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = 58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    EMERGENCY FUND 1 = 4,005/5,000. EMERGENCY FUND 2 = 2,005/5,000.
    CHRISTMAS SAVINGS = 129.37/500
    PREMIUM BONDS ME = 150. PREMIUM BONDS DH = 50
    • Nicnak
    • By Nicnak 17th Oct 18, 8:01 AM
    • 2,119 Posts
    • 12,520 Thanks
    Nicnak
    Have you ever thought about changing to primary? Children are still nice at that age, whereas their hormones turn them into monsters when they get to secondary school (and I'm talking about my DC too ). Sorry if it's a silly idea but I just wondered if it would be a less brutal environment.
    Originally posted by HairyHandofDartmoor
    I have thought about this actually! I would have to look into it x
    September 6th 2017 - Updated February 2019
    Credit Card 0 now: 0 Dad 1500 = 0 Consolidation 15,000 = 8,900 Total = 25,330 8,900 65% gone EMF #252 = 1000/1000
    Sealed pot challenge #024
    Pay off all your debts by Christmas #071
    • Nicnak
    • By Nicnak 17th Oct 18, 8:14 AM
    • 2,119 Posts
    • 12,520 Thanks
    Nicnak
    Feeling a lot more positive this morning, but that could change in an instant!

    I have checked my loan balance this morning and it is just over 10,800.
    That is within reaching distance of under the 10k mark.

    That is incredible to be so close. That should be achieved by December so I will start January under 10k. In 13 months, I have paid off/cleared around 14k worth of debt. A huge majority of that was the car, but it's amazing progress. x
    September 6th 2017 - Updated February 2019
    Credit Card 0 now: 0 Dad 1500 = 0 Consolidation 15,000 = 8,900 Total = 25,330 8,900 65% gone EMF #252 = 1000/1000
    Sealed pot challenge #024
    Pay off all your debts by Christmas #071
    • SSDD23
    • By SSDD23 17th Oct 18, 8:36 AM
    • 1,206 Posts
    • 3,532 Thanks
    SSDD23
    That's an amazing amount, well done x
    Debt Target #02 - 0/207.66 (0%)
    Debts busted: 1/11
    NSD Target: 9/20
    • Purplemumof2
    • By Purplemumof2 17th Oct 18, 10:03 AM
    • 7,227 Posts
    • 27,854 Thanks
    Purplemumof2
    In 13 months, I have paid off/cleared around 14k worth of debt. A huge majority of that was the car, but it's amazing progress. x
    Originally posted by Nicnak
    That is amazing!! Well done you xx
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 791 - Proud to be dealing with my debts
    MBNA: 4650.00 Lloyds: 8700.00 BC: 300.00 Cap One: GONE
    July LTW 3/22 ~ July NSD 2/10
    PAYDBX 2019 #041 PD 3474.49/5604.30
    Savings for Christmas 300.52/500 ~ EF 55/500
    20p Savers 2019 2 Savers 2019 50p Savers 2019 SPC 12 2019 #003
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 17th Oct 18, 11:28 AM
    • 9,988 Posts
    • 79,350 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    Feeling a lot more positive this morning, but that could change in an instant!

    I have checked my loan balance this morning and it is just over 10,800.
    That is within reaching distance of under the 10k mark.

    That is incredible to be so close. That should be achieved by December so I will start January under 10k. In 13 months, I have paid off/cleared around 14k worth of debt. A huge majority of that was the car, but it's amazing progress. x
    Originally posted by Nicnak
    Woohoo! Well done .
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = 58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    EMERGENCY FUND 1 = 4,005/5,000. EMERGENCY FUND 2 = 2,005/5,000.
    CHRISTMAS SAVINGS = 129.37/500
    PREMIUM BONDS ME = 150. PREMIUM BONDS DH = 50
    • Kitten868
    • By Kitten868 17th Oct 18, 5:41 PM
    • 1,226 Posts
    • 3,228 Thanks
    Kitten868
    Don't put it down. You has to give up the car and many don't!

    I wasn't trying to annoy you. I am sorry.

    The allergy thing is huge. It's a humongous change for you. And I know personally how completely draining repeated allergic reactions are. Anaphylaxis especially. Stressful and it just leave a you in fear of it happening again. I wasn't trying to under mine that at all. And yes seriously with the ex isn't he just proving he isn't right for you. Maybe block hid number for a week. Give yourself a break. That's too intense. No one could cope with that even completely well.

    Anyway. Sorry I was insensitive it really was not my intention.
    Loan 1 4600/8000
    Loan 2 2600/5800
    Total 7200/13800 52% PAID

    And CC 1100/1900
    • Nicnak
    • By Nicnak 17th Oct 18, 5:59 PM
    • 2,119 Posts
    • 12,520 Thanks
    Nicnak
    Don't put it down. You has to give up the car and many don't!

    I wasn't trying to annoy you. I am sorry.

    The allergy thing is huge. It's a humongous change for you. And I know personally how completely draining repeated allergic reactions are. Anaphylaxis especially. Stressful and it just leave a you in fear of it happening again. I wasn't trying to under mine that at all. And yes seriously with the ex isn't he just proving he isn't right for you. Maybe block hid number for a week. Give yourself a break. That's too intense. No one could cope with that even completely well.

    Anyway. Sorry I was insensitive it really was not my intention.
    Originally posted by Kitten868
    You haven't annoyed me, what makes you think that? You are right. I do need to look at how far I have come. I have been totally focused on where I could have been if I had been with my ex.

    I would have paid off so much debt, but I would still have been in an unhappy relationship as he needed this wake up call to recognise his behaviour was not acceptable.

    I appreciate you comments Kitten. I might not always agree with things on here, but never get offended. That is people's view and I am asking for it when putting things on here.

    Dressing table did not arrive today. Hopefully tomorrow!

    I have to contact ex because of our daughter so always have to be contactable. x
    September 6th 2017 - Updated February 2019
    Credit Card 0 now: 0 Dad 1500 = 0 Consolidation 15,000 = 8,900 Total = 25,330 8,900 65% gone EMF #252 = 1000/1000
    Sealed pot challenge #024
    Pay off all your debts by Christmas #071
    • Nicnak
    • By Nicnak 17th Oct 18, 6:04 PM
    • 2,119 Posts
    • 12,520 Thanks
    Nicnak
    I think I am going to celebrate (with my non alcoholic wine) when I am under 10k, and really celebrate this achievement. I need to do this. x
    September 6th 2017 - Updated February 2019
    Credit Card 0 now: 0 Dad 1500 = 0 Consolidation 15,000 = 8,900 Total = 25,330 8,900 65% gone EMF #252 = 1000/1000
    Sealed pot challenge #024
    Pay off all your debts by Christmas #071
    • Nicnak
    • By Nicnak 17th Oct 18, 6:19 PM
    • 2,119 Posts
    • 12,520 Thanks
    Nicnak
    I got a phone call today about a competition I had entered to win some cleaning products. I had won!
    It's not money, or tons of products, but it is a fair few and enough to keep me going for a number of weeks/months in some cases. They are all branded ones as well.

    It didn't cost me to enter the competition so I was over the moon to get the phone call.

    If only I could win the 500k competition!

    I'm tired today. I haven't really stopped. I have also found out that I need some work on the front of the house so that will cost 100. I have it in savings, but would rather not spend it. I was hoping to let go of one of my tutoring sessions just for half term, but I won't be able to now, as I need the money to pay for these repairs.

    I have had to start buying some cleaners/limescale things. I barely bought things like this in the past, but now i am alone, I won't be able to replace things so easily. As a result, I am needing to do more preventative things. I have been working on the dishwasher and the washing machine to make sure it lasts longer. it costs a few pounds to get, but in the long term, will save me hundreds.

    Now to try and make up that 100 I need for next week!

    x
    September 6th 2017 - Updated February 2019
    Credit Card 0 now: 0 Dad 1500 = 0 Consolidation 15,000 = 8,900 Total = 25,330 8,900 65% gone EMF #252 = 1000/1000
    Sealed pot challenge #024
    Pay off all your debts by Christmas #071
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 17th Oct 18, 6:42 PM
    • 9,988 Posts
    • 79,350 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    I think I am going to celebrate (with my non alcoholic wine) when I am under 10k, and really celebrate this achievement. I need to do this. x
    Originally posted by Nicnak
    You definitely should

    I got a phone call today about a competition I had entered to win some cleaning products. I had won!
    It's not money, or tons of products, but it is a fair few and enough to keep me going for a number of weeks/months in some cases. They are all branded ones as well.

    It didn't cost me to enter the competition so I was over the moon to get the phone call.

    Now to try and make up that 100 I need for next week!

    x
    Originally posted by Nicnak
    Good news about the cleaning products . Take it easy for the rest of the day so you don't overdo it. I'm sure you'll make that 100 up
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = 58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    EMERGENCY FUND 1 = 4,005/5,000. EMERGENCY FUND 2 = 2,005/5,000.
    CHRISTMAS SAVINGS = 129.37/500
    PREMIUM BONDS ME = 150. PREMIUM BONDS DH = 50
    • Kitten868
    • By Kitten868 17th Oct 18, 7:59 PM
    • 1,226 Posts
    • 3,228 Thanks
    Kitten868
    Oh I just always worry I upset people.

    Yes, he does need contact for your daughter. Schedule his contact and then block. If an emergency happens it's not impossible to unblock. You need a break.

    Xxx
    Loan 1 4600/8000
    Loan 2 2600/5800
    Total 7200/13800 52% PAID

    And CC 1100/1900
    • Nicnak
    • By Nicnak 17th Oct 18, 9:02 PM
    • 2,119 Posts
    • 12,520 Thanks
    Nicnak
    Oh I just always worry I upset people.

    Yes, he does need contact for your daughter. Schedule his contact and then block. If an emergency happens it's not impossible to unblock. You need a break.

    Xxx
    Originally posted by Kitten868
    Please don't worry about that. x
    September 6th 2017 - Updated February 2019
    Credit Card 0 now: 0 Dad 1500 = 0 Consolidation 15,000 = 8,900 Total = 25,330 8,900 65% gone EMF #252 = 1000/1000
    Sealed pot challenge #024
    Pay off all your debts by Christmas #071
    • Nicnak
    • By Nicnak 18th Oct 18, 6:52 PM
    • 2,119 Posts
    • 12,520 Thanks
    Nicnak
    I had my daily wobble again today. Got my pay slip in the post and couldn't make sense of some of it so panicked and then thought I wouldn't get paid next month.

    I'm just having daily panics about it all, and I shouldn't.
    I need to stop!
    September 6th 2017 - Updated February 2019
    Credit Card 0 now: 0 Dad 1500 = 0 Consolidation 15,000 = 8,900 Total = 25,330 8,900 65% gone EMF #252 = 1000/1000
    Sealed pot challenge #024
    Pay off all your debts by Christmas #071
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 18th Oct 18, 7:38 PM
    • 9,988 Posts
    • 79,350 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    It's understandable. Just take deep breaths and put your calm head on and assess whether there really is a need to be anxious, when you feel the anxiety coming on.

    That's what I try and do when I feel anxious anyway .

    I'm sure the anxiety will pass in time. It's related to all you've been having to deal with.
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = 58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    EMERGENCY FUND 1 = 4,005/5,000. EMERGENCY FUND 2 = 2,005/5,000.
    CHRISTMAS SAVINGS = 129.37/500
    PREMIUM BONDS ME = 150. PREMIUM BONDS DH = 50
    • Nicnak
    • By Nicnak 19th Oct 18, 7:16 AM
    • 2,119 Posts
    • 12,520 Thanks
    Nicnak
    Thanks HHOD. I know he anxiety isn't justified as I am genuinely ill and have nothing to worry about with regards to being a fraud, but I still feel awful every time I think about it all and start to panic a little bit.

    Not being paid for one month is not the end of the world, as I do have emergency funds to cover one months pay. I'd sell my car if needed to get a few thousand to cover a few months until I could secure another job.

    I'm hopeful that I can sort myself out soon. I just need to stop wasting time, and start actually sorting things out.

    The dressing table arrived yesterday and i spent an hour building it. It looks lovely now. I have put my trinkets on there and it truly does look perfect in the room and so pretty. I've always wanted a dressing table, but never had one. I don't wear makeup every day but when I do put some on, I would like to be able to sit down and do it properly. My makeup collection is a bit of a one really!.
    It barely consists of anything.
    I begrudge paying tons on something I barely use, so don't really buy much.

    It's my birthday on Monday and I'm going ice skating in the afternoon with little one and a friend. Hoping to have a good catch up with them. x
    September 6th 2017 - Updated February 2019
    Credit Card 0 now: 0 Dad 1500 = 0 Consolidation 15,000 = 8,900 Total = 25,330 8,900 65% gone EMF #252 = 1000/1000
    Sealed pot challenge #024
    Pay off all your debts by Christmas #071
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 19th Oct 18, 5:52 PM
    • 9,988 Posts
    • 79,350 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    I'm glad you're pleased with the dressing table. Have a good weekend .
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = 58,766 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017
    EMERGENCY FUND 1 = 4,005/5,000. EMERGENCY FUND 2 = 2,005/5,000.
    CHRISTMAS SAVINGS = 129.37/500
    PREMIUM BONDS ME = 150. PREMIUM BONDS DH = 50
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