Bought my first house and hate it, SO much

Get the beetle problem fixed (It IS fixable).

Cover the laminate up with rugs.

Paint the walls a nice colour.

Open champagne.

Drink.

Enjoy.


(the following day, see a Dr about your anxiety).

Hi again Luma, thanks for the replies. I actually felt more optimistic after reading them; I think you have some self-awareness and some positive ideas, which is good.

Some more practical stuff first - I do agree with ArthurC (I think it was); considering damp is probably one of your top priorities. I was going to mention it in my previous post but didn’t want to just throw it at you. The weevils are one indication it might be an issue. The pervasive smell you describe might be another.

Do you think it might be an issue, and if so do you have any idea where? Common causes are leaks in the gutters/roof or around the edges of windows, a leak in the plumbing, penetration through thin or compromised walls or subfloor. These are all quite fixable. It may also be a historic issue - a leak makes a joist rotten, the leak is fixed but the joist is not replaced, for example. Formerly-wet carpet underlay is notorious for this actually, and you don’t always see it on the carpet itself.

You can also get condensation damp, which is more general. That’s a product of inadequate house design and lifestyle. In a larger house with a garden, that’s probably quite easy to manage.

Damp is very normal in our climate, and British builders have been historically quite poor at managing it, in my opinion. It won’t be anything unique to this house believe me.

Of course, the smell may be nothing more than old wall and floor coverings, curtains etc. If you have a sensitive nose and move into a house where other people have been living for years, you’ll notice it. Redecorating will address that.

Any thoughts on the issue?

As for decorating - no need to be a perfectionist planner in most rooms. The glory of paint is that it’s relatively cheap, makes a big difference, and can be changed relatively easily. I’d encourage you to just do 2/3/4+ walls or rooms, see what you like. From that, a plan will probably emerge naturally. The only exception is when you are putting in more complicated things like a new kitchen or bathroom.

Flooring - yeah old style lino can be naff. But replacing it isn’t too hard. Are you used to carpets? Hard floors can sometimes look dusty but they are actually hygienic and easy to clean, it’s just there’s not as much hiding of the dust. But put down what you like, there’s lots of options and I reckon it will be something that will make a big difference to how you feel about the place, especially in winter. If you buy carefully, some cheap flooring can actually be quite nice - I just bought some wood-effect laminate boards and the quality is light-years ahead of even 5yrs back. They also don’t show the dust much, as they are varied mid-tones and matt.

French doors - great idea, should be easy but there will be some cost. I’d suggest (and it’s only a suggestion) that you aim for spring, unless you have the budget to hand. If you order some now it will be autumn before they are installed most likely, and you won’t get full use in the winter. But proper garden windows are definitely the right way to go; they transformed my old place.

Bathroom - yep, also from experience it can be transformative. It’s usually a slightly longer process than you’d expect and disrupts the house, but the pay-off is great.

Address the weevils and potential damp, some decorating and some flooring in key rooms (where you spend time, where you sleep, where you enter etc.), a bathroom and french windows as they can be afforded. Sounds like a good and practical plan.

As for the mental side - it’s so interesting to me that you variously mention being away from family, in an unfamiliar house of a different scale and different interior. Definitely this is all wrapped up in your worries. The good thing is that as you get used to the new environment, and shape it to make it more yours, there is every chance that these feelings will calm down.

I’m not sure I agree with the prior poster that anxieties get worse with age. Often people get experience at life and living as themselves, and either move past or get better at managing things. Sometimes life changes such as children just put it all in perspective. I only mention this because it’s important for someone who may be prone to catastrophising (google it - it’s a psychological term if you haven’t come across it before) to realise that there’s no inevitability here, it's often more like a mental habit that can be managed and improved.