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  • FIRST POST
    • lyniced
    • By lyniced 31st Jul 10, 6:04 PM
    • 1,847Posts
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    lyniced
    Blue Badge 'police'
    • #1
    • 31st Jul 10, 6:04 PM
    Blue Badge 'police' 31st Jul 10 at 6:04 PM
    Honestly I can't believe what has just happened. I parked in my local town in a disabled bay, and before I even got my badge out to display, some oldish (well she must have been 60s I guess - if thats ageist I do apologize) woman knocked on the window of the car and ranted on at me that her husband was disabled and she needed the space and because I don't look old (I'm 45 by the way) I guess she took issue with me and wouldn't let me get a word in. Even some passers-by were watching the spectacle unfold!

    Anyway, when I finally did manage to reply that I was disabled and I did have a badge she didn't believe me and said some sniffy things. I retorted that (in a very nice way) that she shouldn't always assume things and despite her age she should be more polite.

    She eventually walked off and I was left shaking - my goodness I felt like I'd been interogated by the Gestapo!!!! We don't need a police force, just old ladies with a grudge!!
    Me transmitte sursum, caledoni
Page 4
    • robpw2
    • By robpw2 1st Aug 10, 6:55 PM
    • 12,646 Posts
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    robpw2
    I haven't noticed that. It's mostly old fogies who complain though, like when I sit in the disabled person's seat on the bus there's usually some old crone who has a point and mutter. Not ageist at all.
    Originally posted by TheBottomLine
    its the ones with kids who seem to think that gives them more right to sit in the disabled seat then the young man who is walking wiht a stick that annoy me .. ok there is a seat free at the back but i need the leg room , still i usully just keep quiet and will go and sit in the free seat , it annoys me even more when there are no seats free and the young couple who have sat in the disabled seat snogging eachother do not bother moving its very much the attitude of im not giving up my seat for anyone .


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    • gilligansyle
    • By gilligansyle 1st Aug 10, 7:07 PM
    • 4,106 Posts
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    gilligansyle


    If you have a badge, it must only be used for your benefit. If a trip is for someone else and you are a passenger and staying in the car, you cannot use the badge to let them benefit from free parking.
    Originally posted by pwales
    I couldn't get the multi quote thing to work, but I thought the person quoted before this had said that the daughter was shopping for them.
    This is something I experience frequently as I take my mother shopping and find that I come in for lots of criticism especially as frequently I will drop her off near the entrance whilst I park, or she will wait somewhere she can sit down, with some of the shopping while I drive the car back to her. And as someone else said, not all disabilities are visible. Once or twice I have taken my mother back to the car while I got the last item from a different shop and she says she feels really uncomfortable waiting, people just glare as if she has no right to be there.
    There should be more policing of disabled bays, but I do not expect anyone to question someone who has a badge. I would expect someone without a badge to be challenged however, the number of times I have stalked a parking space only to find that it was a young couple (although admittedly I couldn't see the dashboard so they may have had a badge)
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    • lyniced
    • By lyniced 1st Aug 10, 7:31 PM
    • 1,847 Posts
    • 604 Thanks
    lyniced
    I couldn't get the multi quote thing to work, but I thought the person quoted before this had said that the daughter was shopping for them.
    This is something I experience frequently as I take my mother shopping and find that I come in for lots of criticism especially as frequently I will drop her off near the entrance whilst I park, or she will wait somewhere she can sit down, with some of the shopping while I drive the car back to her. And as someone else said, not all disabilities are visible. Once or twice I have taken my mother back to the car while I got the last item from a different shop and she says she feels really uncomfortable waiting, people just glare as if she has no right to be there.
    There should be more policing of disabled bays, but I do not expect anyone to question someone who has a badge. I would expect someone without a badge to be challenged however, the number of times I have stalked a parking space only to find that it was a young couple (although admittedly I couldn't see the dashboard so they may have had a badge)
    Originally posted by gilligansyle
    The amount of times I've seen people just 'stop' in a disabled spot while their other-half nips into the shops to get a few bits and pieces. It makies me cross, but not as cross as seeing people who quite blatantly mis-use badges by using their relative's (without them being with them) badge to gain free parking. I have heard that councils are getting wise to this and starting to video and document blue badge abusers. They get very hefty fines - quite right too!
    Me transmitte sursum, caledoni
    • sheeps68
    • By sheeps68 1st Aug 10, 7:31 PM
    • 647 Posts
    • 509 Thanks
    sheeps68
    Am afraid its an on going problem with assumptions that age = disability or all disabilities are visible. Afraid if you dont fit these and prefereably both categories comments get made. Unfortunately it doesnt seem to have any effect on those who park in those spaces and dont have a badge at all.
    Just had weekend with my parents and Dad wouldn't park in the badge spaces at all. Despite my badge and really struggling to walk as lungs were on strike. He said they should be for elderley and chair users not me. I'm 40 and have lung issues! Namely they dont work!
  • sunnyone
    There are good and bad at all ages and some of the older generation have been very nicy to me when parked in disabled bays, I ve struggled with opening my car because of the shopping on my knee or Ive dropped my keys and they couldnt have been nicer in the way that they helped me.

    But there are the bad ones that believe that blue badge bays are elderly bays even when they see visable disabilities but all ages abuse the bays and something needs to be done about policing private car parks BB bays by changing the law to make it illegal to park in them without a blue badge.

    Then we will all be happier and more able to park when we go out.
    • Indie Kid
    • By Indie Kid 1st Aug 10, 8:40 PM
    • 21,629 Posts
    • 29,326 Thanks
    Indie Kid
    its the ones with kids who seem to think that gives them more right to sit in the disabled seat then the young man who is walking wiht a stick that annoy me .. ok there is a seat free at the back but i need the leg room , still i usully just keep quiet and will go and sit in the free seat , it annoys me even more when there are no seats free and the young couple who have sat in the disabled seat snogging eachother do not bother moving its very much the attitude of im not giving up my seat for anyone .
    Originally posted by robpw2
    because of course it's not possible that any of them could have a disability.
  • wssla00
    I get it a lot. Especially when I am waiting for the bus and others like to push in front of me as they feel that they need to sit down first. Or look the other way when I am boarding and they have their bag on the seat. I usually just pull out the syringe pump attached to my stomach check it's ok (the pump not the bit attached, it's still attached, not being gross lol) as I'm meant to do every few hours and miraculously a seat appears.....before I had this is was so hard to explain i may be young but I am (sadly) disabled.
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    • SingleSue
    • By SingleSue 1st Aug 10, 10:30 PM
    • 10,665 Posts
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    SingleSue
    Yes 'watch out for the lady' is the usual one. Or the kids just stop and stare at you with their red-faced parents saying 'don't stare!' Also have you found that when you are in a wheelchair people don't look down and hence don't see you and turn around and almost fall on top of you. This has happened to me quite a few times. Not sure who'd come off worse - me or them??
    Originally posted by lyniced
    Ooopss, I am guilty of saying "Watch out for the lady/man" but in my defence, I say it for wheelchair users, crutch users, stick users and non disabled people when the children are not looking where they are going or in a world of their own.

    So it is used for everyone......maybe other parents are the same.
    We made it! Two graduated, 1 currently at university, been hard work but it shows there is a possibility of a chance of normal (ish) life after a diagnosis (or two) of ASD. It's not been the easiest route but I am so glad I ignored everything and everyone and did my own therapies with them.
    Eldests' EDS diagnosis 4.5.10, mine 13.1.11 eekk!
  • Oldernotwiser
    Something insulting in my post?

    EDIT: You mean when I said 'fogies' and 'crone' I think? Well firstly, a fogy is someone who has old fashioned attitudes and is not related to age at all. Neither is crone, it simply means ugly and is not an 'ageist' word. I mean look at Helen Mirren, she's old (65) and is well fit. Look 'em up in the dictionary if you want, but please tell me you're not comparing those words with '!!!!!!!' and 'cripple'.
    Originally posted by TheBottomLine
    I disagree - fogies and crones are the same sort of derogatory language for older people as !!!!!!! and cripple are for the disabled.
  • needing-help
    Ooopss, I am guilty of saying "Watch out for the lady/man" but in my defence, I say it for wheelchair users, crutch users, stick users and non disabled people when the children are not looking where they are going or in a world of their own.

    So it is used for everyone......maybe other parents are the same.
    Originally posted by SingleSue
    I'm the same sue I say it for everyone as well. As for staring my kids do stare but more out of curiosity than malice. I try to explain as much as possible. Other peoples kids stare at me and it really doesn't bother me and I am happy to explain to them.
    Some of the parents on the other hand
    • littlerat
    • By littlerat 1st Aug 10, 11:31 PM
    • 1,673 Posts
    • 3,157 Thanks
    littlerat
    On the upside, sometimes I wish I had a camera to record all the pitying looks I get when going round a shop in my wheelchair. I reckon it's a 50/50 split between patronising and challenging - there are very, very few people who just accept disabled people as they are. I get so fed up of conspicuous parents who tell their kids to "watch out for that lady", of elderly people who barge into me, of people to whom I am completely invisible. Teenagers are the most understanding group IMO, they might not understand how to hold a door open but at least they try.

    I don't want special treatment, I don't want your pity, I just want to be equal to every other person in the shop.
    Originally posted by rosysparkle


    Dad's always said the same, he's often found the "hoody" sterotypical teenagers to be the quickest to open a door for him! My grandpa in a wheelchair found the same too. On that aspect the worst tend to be people sort of around 40 - 60 or so.

    Regarding people saying to their kids, annoying as it may be it's probably just because a lot of children can be clumsy and they don't want them to fall on them or something.

    Unfortunately Dad's found it's mostly the elderly who are awkward. ONW it's not ageist when a higher proportion do say it. Of course many are fine, and of couse many younger people do challenge it - just not AS many. The terms used are definitely not nice, if not meant in a nasty way though, I agree.

    From another side though, understandably Dad sometimes has to go back to the car before someone who's with him, the amount of times people assume the badge is being abused is incredible, when in actual fact Dad just couldn't stand any longer!



    On a personal note, I'd not consider myself physically disabled by any means, but I do have a few spacial awareness issues (for that reason my parents often had to tell me to mind people when I was younger!) and lots more balance issues - if on a bus, for me to stand would be dangerous to me - and anybody I may fall on! While some people may be being ignorant, don't forget those people may actually have a genuine reason for not standing Of course, most won't have, unfortunately there's no way to tell. Shame you can't trust people to be honest though
  • pwales
    i find old people the worst one time i was trying to get on the bus and a old lady was sat in the wheelchair space(not disabled space but wheelchair) which has a sign saying you must move if a wheelchair comes on....well she would not move so i had to wait for the next bus! as i was getting back off the bus she moaned to the driver ive waited for my free bus pass why should he have a bus pass.....the driver did not stick up for me ,i complained and had an appology letter saying he was being retrained
    • lyniced
    • By lyniced 2nd Aug 10, 11:43 AM
    • 1,847 Posts
    • 604 Thanks
    lyniced
    i find old people the worst one time i was trying to get on the bus and a old lady was sat in the wheelchair space(not disabled space but wheelchair) which has a sign saying you must move if a wheelchair comes on....well she would not move so i had to wait for the next bus! as i was getting back off the bus she moaned to the driver ive waited for my free bus pass why should he have a bus pass.....the driver did not stick up for me ,i complained and had an appology letter saying he was being retrained
    Originally posted by pwales
    Just out of interest and going off the subject. I have just go myself a bus-pass, but didn't really think about how I would get onto a bus in a wheelchair. Everyone says I will need somone with me to get onto a bus, but was hoping it would give me some idependence and freedom. Are buses wheelchair friendly and would I be ok to get on and off on my own?
    Me transmitte sursum, caledoni
  • pwales
    Just out of interest and going off the subject. I have just go myself a bus-pass, but didn't really think about how I would get onto a bus in a wheelchair. Everyone says I will need somone with me to get onto a bus, but was hoping it would give me some idependence and freedom. Are buses wheelchair friendly and would I be ok to get on and off on my own?
    Originally posted by lyniced
    you will fit on some the driver should lower the ramp for you but most dont so you need to be agile on a manual chair to be safe
    • Mupette
    • By Mupette 2nd Aug 10, 2:14 PM
    • 4,255 Posts
    • 6,945 Thanks
    Mupette
    Just out of interest and going off the subject. I have just go myself a bus-pass, but didn't really think about how I would get onto a bus in a wheelchair. Everyone says I will need somone with me to get onto a bus, but was hoping it would give me some idependence and freedom. Are buses wheelchair friendly and would I be ok to get on and off on my own?
    Originally posted by lyniced

    This would depend on type of bus, attitude of bus driver etc.

    I'm in Bristol, First Bristol runs the show, but just to show you what we have to put up with....

    http://www.thisisbristol.co.uk/news/Bristol-bus-driver-refused-let-disable-man-board-scooter/article-2458167-detail/article.html


    If you can get on a bus, the wheelchair space is usually taken up with the buggy brigade, who often enough declare that the could not possibly get chardaney out of the buggy as they need both hands to drop down the latest in chav buggies. (How the frig did we manage, you just did)

    or the driver who refuses to get out of his cab to assist, or worse, refuses to press the button that automatically drops the bus to meet the kerb to help you. (perhaps he might sprain his finger)

    GNU
    Terry Pratchett
    ((((Ripples))))

    • Prinzessilein
    • By Prinzessilein 2nd Aug 10, 2:42 PM
    • 3,048 Posts
    • 14,342 Thanks
    Prinzessilein
    I live on the East Coast. The bus companies seem to have a variety of buses, and you never know which type is going to come!

    I am not in a wheelchaor, but I cannot manage stairs/steps. Sometimes I wait for a bus, see it is the 'wrong' sort (with a huge step) and have to wait for the next one and hope it has the low' entrance.

    What I find hard to understand are the bus drivers who insist on driving off before I am sitting down. They have just seen my disabled pass, do they not realise thatI might have problems with mobility? I get thrown forward as the bus starts and then am tossed side to side as I try and reach the safety of a seat. I asked once why the driver couldn't wait just a further 30 seconds....he told me that he is on a strict timetable and gets penalised if he doesn't start/leave on time. Presumably the timetable is more importanyt than the safety of the passengers.
  • wornoutmumoftwo
    Where I am, if there are buggys on the bus and a wheelchair user wishes to board the buggy need to be moved, or off the bus as they are not allowed to refuse access to a wheelchair user.
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  • ash4becks
    after i went for my bb assesment , i had my splints on bright white driver was telling me to run lol dispite him seing me walk slow he wouldnt wait was only 20 ft away so he drove past, had to stand for 10mins in agony wasnt happy thou,

    think there is a policy where if they cant get you on the bus they pay for a taxi in my area
  • kusadasi040667
    ignorance
    We've just returned from a holiday in North Wales. My son has Down's syndrome and several other disabilities. He uses a wheelchair and of course, we took it on holiday with us. We were really surprised at how many people stared at him - especially children. As we passed, some people actually turnedd around to keep looking at us. We've never experienced this in our home town, so it was a bit of a surprise. My daughter commented on it, but I just told her to ignore the ignorance that other people have.
    Originally posted by kingfisherblue
    My friend has a son who is very disabled, she has got so fed up that she had little business cards printed with hello my name is ........ thank you for your interest in me I have ................... disability you can find out more on this by either asking my mom or going to www....... If you wish to help the charity is ............ now hope you have a good day

    When my child was young she had to often wear a leather specialist helmet as she would drop to the floor,have seizures & poor balance.People would stare all the time I remember standing outside a shop with her waiting for my husband & other children.There was a young child & man stood by us, the child said daddy why is that girl wearing a skateboard helmet (I waited for the adult reply ha). Man replied because she's obviously stupid!! To be honest we have had much worse said to us. On the other hand you occasionally got the opposite one time I was out shopping (again!)I can't recall if my daughter was in a major buggy or wheelchair at that time anyway a little girl said mommy why is that girl in that and the mom smiled at both of us and said I don't know perhaps we could ask the little girl if thats ok with her & her mom? My D said yes to me.I beamed at the mommy and said oh please do! It was lovely the children had a lovely chat about why legs dont always work it benefited both of them in diff ways. I thanked the mom after a chat for the way she was bringing her child up & wished more were the same .
    Ironic that I'm now disabled my daughter's great thank goodness & its now her that gets annoyed when people are rude & ignorant to me and she's a lot more scary !! K
  • WhiteHorse
    buggy brigade [...] could not possibly get chardaney out of the buggy as they need both hands to drop down the latest in chav buggies.
    Originally posted by Mupette
    And if you ask them to move, all you get is a mouthfull of abuse (which always seems to contain the words 'moi kids' and 'right?').
    "Never underestimate the mindless force of a government bureaucracy
    seeking to expand its power, dominion and budget"

    Jay Stanley, American Civil Liberties Union.
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