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  • FIRST POST
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 29th Dec 18, 7:41 AM
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    lessonlearned
    Frump to Fab 2019 - Here We Go Again
    • #1
    • 29th Dec 18, 7:41 AM
    Frump to Fab 2019 - Here We Go Again 29th Dec 18 at 7:41 AM
    Good Morning Lovely Ladies (And Gents - if are are reading along).

    Are you ready to start the New Year with a sparkle in your eye and a spring in your footsteps or are you feeling a little jaded, a little worse for wear, a tad sad and neglected.

    Do you feel invisible. Does the face that stares back at you from the mirror seem like a stranger to you.

    Just who is that tired old lady looking back out at you.

    In short, have you become a Frump!!!

    Well fret ye not, salvation is at hand.

    Join our merry gang and make this the year you transform yourself.

    Ditch the Frump and become the Fabulous Woman you know you can be.

    And have some fun along the way.

    The Story So Far.......

    I have been looking back and I was astonished to discover that the First Frump to Fab thread began in 2011. Wow.

    Tempus Fugit and all that.

    Am I fabulous yet. Almost.

    How did it all begin.

    Well one day my son took a photo of me in an unguarded moment. I took one look and burst into tears. Who was that old hag, that strange woman who looked like a bag lady. That couldn't be me. So I ran upstairs and took a good hard look in a full length mirror.

    Yes, dear reader, it was me.

    I stopped snivelling and faced the truth. I was a mess. I resolved then and there to do something about it. I didn't know what that something was because at the time I was caring for my terminally ill husband and staring bankruptcy in the face.

    I was exhausted, I looked terrible and if I'm honest, I felt desperate. I didn't know what I was going to do, or where to begin so I started the first Frump to Fab thread as a diary to spur me on and keep me motivated.

    And the rest is history.

    My life is truly unrecognisable from that day. And I am not the same woman.

    I look better, feel better, my finances are better. I AM better.

    Not quite Goddess standard yet but getting there and working towards being fabulous and having a fabulous life.

    So......if you want to "Change Your Stars" then join our merry gang.

    Let's make 2019 the best one yet.

    And......more Importantly, let's have some fun along the way.

    One Golden Rule Please.

    Be kind to one another.

    Please do not be harsh or judgemental to others. None of us is perfect. It doesn't matter how we became Frumps what matters is how we are going to reclaim our looks, our energy, our joire de vie.

    The past is the past and why we became Frumps is no longer relevant. It doesn't matter how we got here, what matters is how we move forward.

    We are all here because we want to make things better. We want to look attractive, some of us might want to improve our health and fitness. All of us on here aspire to being the best we can be. So let's support each other.

    For the Newbies, the Lurkers and as a refresher course for our regular members ......

    I have posted the new thread earlier this year to give us some time to reflect and decide exactly what we want to achieve next year. Time to set goals, time for some strategic planning.

    Over the next few days, in true MSE fashion, myself and our regulars will be talking about some simple easy and FREE steps you can make as you prepare to start as your journey to Fabdom.

    So Welcome Everyone.

    Let's get this show on the road.....

    Let's Rock!!!!

    This Forum tip was included in MoneySavingExpert.com's weekly email!
    If you haven’t already, join the forum to reply.
    Last edited by MSE Tine; 03-04-2019 at 11:33 AM.
Page 98
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 21st Jul 19, 10:21 AM
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    lessonlearned
    Good morning lovely ladies

    Melody...good to hear from you, sounds like you are making a good start. Take it easy. Try to relax and enjoy the journey to Fabdom. You'll get there, all in good time.

    Here's a thought, you ain't broke, you don't need fixing. All you need is TLC, love, joy and laughter.....you are blessed with a loving partner and family. Let them be your comfort and try not to worry what others think. Keep an open and brave heart and you will soon draw other kinder, more nurturing people into your orbit.

    Good,luck with the exercise and SW. I haven't looked at the SW support thread on here so am not quite sure of the content, but I'm sure you will get a lot of support and encouragement there. You could also take a look at the WW thread (I started it because there wasn't one) not to follow their plan but to get an idea of the emotional and psychological side of weight gain and loss. It's something the contributors often discuss. You might find some of the comments very insightful and enlightening,

    Watched a fascinating programme last night, it was on a while ago and I Recorded it, but only finally got round to seeing it last night. It was a documentary featuring Dr Chris Van Tullekan. He's a GP with a very open mind and who bravely puts himself up for all sorts of test and experiments. Last night it was all about OTC medicines, what works, what is a rip off etc. Very interesting and I learned a lot.

    One thing he did test was pain relief, both tablets and gels. For deep muscle pain he found out that baths gave the best relief. Cold baths had the slight edge over warm ones, but obviously warm ones are kinder and more pleasant.

    Both SUgarbaby and I swear by mineral salt baths and lavender oil. Soothing and relaxing. You can either add a few drops of neat lavender oil to the bath or dilute it with a carrier oil such as grape seed and use it as a massage oil.

    Never, never put neat aromatherapy oils directly onto the skin without first diluting them.

    Just finished clearing the top bedroom and loft.. Washing done. Time for brunch and then some tidying up. Hopefully a nice walk later....noticed the blackberries are out so will go and pick a few whilst on my travels.

    Handmaids Tale tonight and Poldark. I watch Handmaids and record Poldark to watch afterwards. Much more fun. Wish The Handmaids would get on with their revolution I'm getting bored and frustrated......

    Have a great day.
    Last edited by lessonlearned; 21-07-2019 at 10:36 AM.
    • maman
    • By maman 21st Jul 19, 10:25 AM
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    maman
    Good to hear from you melody. You have some good plans there.

    You'll get a good idea about SW from your cousin's pack. It's not rocket science. Basically it's a framework to help with healthy eating. We all know that while we need to eat/drink from all food groups that we don't need to have the same amount from each group. The plan helps to get the balance right between healthy foods and treats. You don't need to join the SW group on here unless you want to but I would suggest reading the first few posts on the thread as the plan is explained.

    I'm having a day at home today just starting to catch up on a few things. I know I'm lucky to have a good social life but we all need a balance. As well as cooking us a good meal I'm going to sort out some long overdue paperwork.

    We had a good time yesterday at a family party. I got lots of compliments about my spotty dress. My nieces recognised it at once from its fame on Instagram! I felt good alongside those who'd chosen a much more casual look (cropped trousers and tops a la M&S). I know I didn't look like mutton and I was much happier alongside the women that wore dresses rather than the others.

    The coming week looks blissfully quiet. No plans for anything social until Friday and that's weather dependent so anything could happen there. I'm definitely going to start another book and do lots of tidying up! I took a couple of bags to the CS on Friday and hope to do more this week. It's not that my home is untidy I just know I have far too much 'stuff' and it'll be cathartic to get rid of some of it. I'm definitely going to sort the bathroom cupboard ready for when we have the revamp. So that's me thinking aloud with some goals for the coming week. Thanks for listening.
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 21st Jul 19, 10:47 AM
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    lessonlearned
    Maman.....I'm in decluttering mode again too. can't wait for my son to fit those wardrobes for me.....then I can get rid of the ones I inherited when I bought this house. They are monsters and absolutely swamp my current bedroom, making it feel really cluttered and quite claustrophobic. The room will look much more light, airy and spacious without them, especially when I get rid of the purple feature wallpaper. Lol.

    I was reading about Swedish Death Cleaning yesterday....not quite as morbid as it sounds. but, after having to deal with the possessions and estates of both my husband and my parents I am resolved to "get my house in order", not just to make things easier for my loved ones but also to live a simple, streamlined and uncuttered life.

    I too am naturally a very tidy person, everything is all neat and Bristol Fashion but the cupboards are a tad full. I did a paperwork sort out recently but I still have more to dispose of mainly the Spanish stuff. It's almost 10 years now so I think it's safe to let it go.

    Still need to brace myself for the photos......
    Last edited by lessonlearned; 21-07-2019 at 10:50 AM.
    • humptydumptybits
    • By humptydumptybits 21st Jul 19, 12:02 PM
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    humptydumptybits
    LL - could be a horsefly bite - they are itchy and I have a horrendous reaction to them. They usually end up in quite a big blister with yellowish fluid in it - nasty.
    Humpty - The OPI Start to Finish is a basecoat,Nail Hardener and Topcoat all in one,as my nails were looking so bad I just used it to give them a bit of support and protection but I've used it in the past when doing a full proper manicure - it makes your varnish last the best part of a week.
    Originally posted by silvasava

    Thanks for the tip. I don't normally wear nail varnish, occasionally I put some clear varnish on but generally my nails are au naturele and I keep them fairly short, they are very short at the moment. Normally they look fine but I know they aren't strong and if I try to grow them they will break. I guess we all work out what works best for us.



    I have heard OPI is a good brand so I might give it a go but I'm going to do a week or two of treating them with oil.
    • humptydumptybits
    • By humptydumptybits 21st Jul 19, 12:09 PM
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    humptydumptybits
    I've been invited for a "Well woman" check at the GPs. It starts off with a blood test, I'm already due two blood tests next week so managed to get this combined, that's an armful of blood gone. When I get the blood results I see a nurse and get things like weight, height, blood pressure done and get some advice. I thought I might as well get it done, I had heart tests last year including an angiogram and had my bone scan this year so I think I should be up to date with everything.
    • Wednesday2000
    • By Wednesday2000 21st Jul 19, 12:12 PM
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    Wednesday2000
    I have another concert this week. It's meant to be very hot weather but luckily we will be going into London against the rush hour so it hopefully won't be too bad.

    wednesdayThankyou do the advice on meditation exercises. I had tried them in the past but they don't seem to last long with me. I have found my CD of thunderstorms and rain sounds again though which I've been trying to listen to before bed and this has helped me calm down a bit so hopefully I will keep this up to help me��
    Originally posted by melodyladygunslinger
    Oh yes, I like listening to rain or waves too. Very relaxing.

    I got badly bitten the other day by an insect. I am not sure if it is just a mosquito bite but looking at it I think it might have been a tick carrying Lyme Disease, although I didn't see a tick to remove. It might not have fully attached because I felt whatever it was bite and brushed it off immediately. The bite is not looking good though, very red and hot. It has the beginnings of the "bullseye effect" associated with a Lyme Rash, but it's itchy like a mozzie bite, so a bit confusing. Lol.

    I'll keep an eye on it. I'll know more in about a week or so. Caught early Lymes is fairly easy to treat, untreated it can be devasting.

    Not sure if it's linked to climate change but be warned, Lyme Disease is definitely on the rise in the U.K.
    Originally posted by lessonlearned
    I would definitely get that checked. My friend in the US has fibromyalgia and when she was being diagnosed she was tested for Lyme Disease as it has the same symptoms as fibromyalgia, tiredness and pain.

    She didn't have it in the end.

    I felt good alongside those who'd chosen a much more casual look (cropped trousers and tops a la M&S). I know I didn't look like mutton and I was much happier alongside the women that wore dresses rather than the others.
    Originally posted by maman
    That is funny as I was at the dentist the other day and while I was waiting I was looking at the women walking past and what they were wearing. About 70% were wearing cropped trousers, t-shirts and flat or low wedge sandals.

    I much prefer dresses or skirts with leggings.
    Push yourself, because no one else is going to do it for you.
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 21st Jul 19, 12:19 PM
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    lessonlearned
    Oops sorry Silva, missed your post. I'll look up horse fly bites. My bite sounds similar to what you describe.

    Without being too graphic, it does keep filling up with fluid and gunk and it itched like crazy. Seems a little easier today. Still very red but no longer hot and inflamed and the wound does look cleaner, and the "bullseye effect" has died down, so I think maybe not a tick bite after all. Phew.

    I'll still get it checked though. I need to see my gp soon anyway.

    Humpty. Good luck with the well woman tests. Aren't we lucky to be offered them. I take full advantage of any screening they offer. I am in the middle of doing something similar myself, dentist, eyes, feet. a sort of mini MOT.
    • humptydumptybits
    • By humptydumptybits 21st Jul 19, 1:36 PM
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    humptydumptybits
    Oh yes I forgot eyes and teeth, just had a filling replaced and saw the hygienist and had new glass in March so definitely MOT'd for this year.


    I do think we are lucky, I thought I was going to have to pay for the bone density scan but I got that on the NHS as well. I feel guilty sometimes as I feel I use alot of NHS resources at the moment but I suppose I have to balance that with 60 years of very little use other than childbirth.
    • maman
    • By maman 21st Jul 19, 3:39 PM
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    maman
    Just finished the decluttering for today. I have a pile of stuff to shred but I'll do that over time otherwise the shredder objects strongly!

    If I can do a bit at a time then it won't seem so arduous, just like eating the elephant.

    Still need to brace myself for the photos......
    Originally posted by lessonlearned
    That's a job I keep putting off too . I was listening to a radio programme earlier about grandmas' cooking where people were recalling food related memories of their grandmas. It took me back to various recollections of my nana. It's the old family photos that I must annotate as well as sort out. Perhaps a winter activity.

    I have heard OPI is a good brand so I might give it a go but I'm going to do a week or two of treating them with oil.
    Originally posted by humptydumptybits
    I've been oiling my nails too and making sure I do nails as well as skin when I put on hand cream. My nails are very short at the moment but the condition is much improved. I like the sound of that OPI Start to Finish silva although I have plenty of separate products so I should really use them up first.

    That's another challenge that will become apparent when I sort out the bathroom cupboards. I've got lots of products to use up. I've been very mse lately and been more sparing in my usage but it doesn't help using things up. When I went on holiday, I avoided taking a new lipstick because, in the heat, they can get soft and snap off. So I took two old ones: one for my handbag and one for indoors. They're so low that I need to use a brush but six weeks on there's still loads left!

    It's a lovely day here again. It's not that I'm doing anything special but seeing the sun really cheers me.
    • maman
    • By maman 22nd Jul 19, 3:13 PM
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    maman
    Came on to say that more decluttering achieved today! I think posting helps me as it's a record of my achievement.

    Today was my bathroom cupboard and a drawer in my bedroom that holds my more expensive cosmetics. The current bathroom cupboard is purpose built, floor to celling with 7 shelves. The footprint is small (about 40 x 25 cm) and each shelf conveniently holds one of those small plastic baskets. I'm having something similar in the new bathroom but I don't think it's going to be quite as spacious.

    I threw out some old lipsticks but it was mostly a tidying up/stocktaking process. I really must try and use up some of the products. I definitely must not buy any more.

    Tomorrow I'm going to tackle a couple of kitchen cupboards. As there's some pipework replacement downstairs necessary as part of the bathroom work I might need to empty some cupboards so it seems like a good time to check there's no unnecessary clutter in them.

    Other than that I've not done a lot: shower/hair/slathering, a little bit of ironing and a few emails and phone calls.

    It's another lovely day today. Hope the sun's shining on you all.
    • melodyladygunslinger
    • By melodyladygunslinger 22nd Jul 19, 3:32 PM
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    melodyladygunslinger
    Hi everyone

    Went to the zumba class today and it was really fun. Lots of work and I was sweating buckets but i feel better and happier having done it. I'll probably be a little sore in the morning though Everyone was really welcoming and friendly. I had to stop once or twice as I was starting to feel sore but i finished it. Going back next week for more

    Cleaned out under the kitchen sink and got rid of alot of stuff we don't use/was not very good. Then decided to have an early bath as I was achy and tired.

    Now resting up on the bed with a nice book ready to read
    Sealed Pot Challenge #126
    Weight Loss Goal To Lose: 112LB
    Weight Loss So Far: 18.5LB
    Weight Still To Go: 93.5LB
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 22nd Jul 19, 4:26 PM
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    lessonlearned
    Well done on the decluttering Maman. You'll get there.

    I know what you mean about posting on here, it's what keeps me accountable and stops me from straying onto the primrose path.

    Another 1.1/2 lb down this morning, that makes a total loss of 38lbs, wahoo. Feeling super pleased.

    DS2 made a good start on fitting the wardrobes, he'll come back and finish them in Wednesday. Then I can get a bit straighter and more organised.

    Off out to a BBQ in a bit. Lovely evening for it.
    • humptydumptybits
    • By humptydumptybits 22nd Jul 19, 6:47 PM
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    humptydumptybits
    My decluttering is fueling my ebaying. My 41 item has sold for 78, so pleased with that and another couple of items have sold, there was so little interest in them I didn't think they were going to sell. Another 100 in the fund and a little bit more space in the loft. I so want the loft cleared, then the garage, shed and finally onto cupboards. I'm hoping to reach 10k and a decluttered house. It is hard being married to a hoarder, Ive always had to fight to keep lounge,dining room, kitchen and bedroom clear but his office, loft, garage and shed are packed solid, in fact having sold 3k worth of stuff you can't see much progress but I keep telling myself it must have made a difference.


    I've been so busy today and I am really tired. Hoping I sleep well tonight.
    • sugarbaby125
    • By sugarbaby125 23rd Jul 19, 10:14 AM
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    sugarbaby125
    Hello Ladies,

    Melody you are doing great. Stay focused on yourself.

    Humpty
    you are doing a great job of decluttering your home and also raising money from selling on eBay

    I am finding it difficult not to put on weight, but I am determined to persevere with the healthy eating. It is the lack of daily exercise that is causing me problems. My right shoulder inflammation has not settled down and it is still painful. I was forced to do most things with my left hand and that has resulted in a painful left shoulder as well.

    The pain is returning in my left lower jaw, so the antibiotics I took for 5 days before has not completely eradicated any infection. I will have to talk to a dentist about this soon. On the dentist's advice, I did buy myself an Oral B rechargeable toothbrush which has really improved my plaque removal.

    I broke my self imposed spending embargo on eBay about 10 days ago, but I did not spend in an extravagant way. I bought another pair of Van Dal sling back shoes that were new in the original box, A new Kaleidoscope dress and a new Kaleidoscope skirt. I have not done any spending on eBay since though.

    My 4 grandchildren all have birthdays between the 30th July and 1st October. As I am saving for my 2020 holiday, I am simply going to give all 4 of them some money in a birthday card and leave it at that. My grandson is shocked that I am not prepared to pay for a birthday meal for him in a restaurant, but I prefer the money to remain in my savings account. I will not be doing any more lavish spending on any of my 4 grandchildren in the future. I need to concentrate on my own needs before their needs. They have their parents to rely on for a good celebration on their birthdays.

    My younger son got his results for his 1st year exams of his degree and he got a 2:1 so I am really proud of him. He also came home on Friday to cook my version of chicken fried rice with my supervision. He ate a portion for his dinner and took 3 portions home to his student accommodation.

    I am doing lots of reading at the moment. I am on my 4th book in only a week. I decided to read all of the autobiographies from my collection of new books. I find them much easier to read, as they do not have complicated plots and sub plots. It is also great to see the different writing styles of people that have become famous in my life time and interesting to note which areas of their personal and professional lives they are willing to share with their readers.
    Last edited by sugarbaby125; 23-07-2019 at 12:42 PM.
    • maman
    • By maman 23rd Jul 19, 10:47 AM
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    maman
    I think you're right about the grandchildren sugarbaby. Of course it's up to their parents mainly. It's different perhaps with a special birthday like an 18th or 21st when several celebrations may be in order.

    Perhaps it just the occasion that your grandson will miss? It was interesting on Saturday that my little nephew (Aged 8) had specifically asked his parents if we could have the family party for his birthday. Its normally an annual event but last year they were having building work done so it didn't happen and he missed it. I think he just likes seeing the extended family together.

    Your son has done well in his exams. Can he stay all year round in his student accommodation?

    You love those Van Dal shoes and you know they suit you so it would have been foolish to pass up a new pair.

    I was going to go out and about on a few errands today but they can wait. You've decided me to just stay in the cool and read. I went around earlier and closed blinds and curtains to help keep the rooms cool and the front of my house is north facing so those rooms aren't so bad.

    I'm also taking advantage of the weather to clear all the washing. there's absolutely nothing in the laundry basket! I changed our bed too and replaced the duvet with a large cotton sheet.

    It's strange but in Turkey a few weeks back we had weather like this daily. It's so much easier to cope there but I don't think it would be the same swimming off a boat in the Solent!
    • humptydumptybits
    • By humptydumptybits 23rd Jul 19, 10:56 AM
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    humptydumptybits
    Sugarbaby, thank you. I do feel it is beyond me at times but now I have him agreeing to clearing it I have got to do it. I will slow down over the next six weeks as I have GC alot and I can't cope with piles of stuff I am selling and rampaging toddlers.


    It is hard about spending on GC. Four of mine are well provided for, two are in a harder situation, mum and dad not together and dad (my son) has moved away. They don't get on well with stepfather and mum is very volatile, at one time social services placed the children with me and I worked with them to get them back to mum and with lots of support it has jogged alot for a few years but with teenage issues it isn't easy at the moment. I do spend more on them, I think my other kids understand, it isn't that I love these two more than the others but when dad sends money and then mum says there isn't any and they need new clothes what can I do? I also feel I have to offer childcare to the others as the two needy ones are with me alot so it feels unfair, well I suppose it is unfair but I can hardly turn a sobbing child away when he is at my door complaining about stepdad again.


    Sometimes I wish life was easier. I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself now, must think positive thoughts.
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 23rd Jul 19, 11:27 AM
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    lessonlearned
    Good morning lovely ladies.....

    Well done on the eBaying Humpty. You're going great guns.

    Interesting post there SUgarbaby about financial priotories.

    I agree it's nice to be generous to our progeny but realistically we do have to think about our needs for the future too. Those bills don't get any smaller.

    I also think that maybe it isn't always a good idea to shower them with too much in the way of material goods....they all need to be able to stand in their own two feet. A parent or grandparents time, love and attention is a far greater gift.

    I also think humans need to feel the urge to create and succeed. I don't think that happens if everything is handed to you on a plate.

    A young man of my acquaintance once told me about his grandfather.

    Apparently the gentleman in question, despite being moderately wealthy, never showered the boy with elaborate gifts or extravagant treats - always just one small present, usually a book. He did however, shower him with love and affection, taking the boy out and about. He fondly remembers cricket matches, football, fishing and camping trips with his grandfather.

    Then on his 21st birthday he got the surprise of his life. The grandfather presented him with a bundle of share certificates, worth enough to put down on a house deposit.

    Despite being well able to indulge the boy, the canny old devil knew better than to spoil him with material goods whilst he was growing up and chose instead to invest in his future.

    I shall be doing something similar for my grandchildren.....although on a smaller scale. Unless of course I suddenly become rich. but even then I wouldn't over indulge them.

    I've been out and about this morning but it's already blisteringly hot. I I already have a headache so am going to stay out of the sun.
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 23rd Jul 19, 11:33 AM
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    lessonlearned
    Just read your post Humpty. What an incredibly difficult situation for you. No wonder you feel a bit low.

    Life can be so cruel sometimes.......

    Not everyone gets to have an idyllic childhood. I really feel for children who have a hard time.
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 23rd Jul 19, 11:44 AM
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    lessonlearned
    BTW. My bite is much better. Showed my tame GP (it can be very useful having a doctor in the family, . I never consult her as such, that wouldn't be fair, but she noticed the bite).

    We are both pretty certain it was a mosquito. I am very allergic to the blighters at the best of times but she thinks this one was infected. Anyway it's clean now and healing well.

    I don't know whether it's an age thing but I have found that insect bites and wasp stings affect me far more than they did when I was younger. The last wasp sting made me feel quite ill. My sister has to carry an epi pen for bee stings......at least I'm not that bad.

    It's coming up to the 5th anniversay of my husbands death. Always hard at such times.......but I remind myself at least he's free now. And I'm gradually rebuilding my life.

    The other day my sister commented on how much my grandson resembles my husband ......the genes live on dont they. I can see it in his eyes.
    • humptydumptybits
    • By humptydumptybits 23rd Jul 19, 1:32 PM
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    humptydumptybits
    It is funny about the bites, I think I was tasty when I was young and got bitten lots, now rarely in fact I can't think of the last time it happened. I think some of us naturally do attract them more and it can change, maybe hormonal in my case as I think it might have been menopause when I lost my attraction to the beasties. One of my children was a wasp magnet as a child, two never got a sting and one just got stung once. Weird isn't it.


    It is sad about kids who don't have a good homelife. I try to make sure "my" two know this is their safe place. They refer to my house as home which annoys their mother no end. The eldest is just longing for his getaway, which is university. He is very bright and will do well.
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