Going to be in debt - help/guidance required

monetxchange · 17 August 2019 at 8:03AM

Some great advice in the above posts. There's really no need to panic. It can be paid off steadily and hopefully without interest if you BT. It's a small debt and won't effect your chances of mortgages etc. I had a horrible credit history over the years and huge amounts of debt - now I'm close to being debt free I'm finally in a well above average credit position. It's the loss of savings I'd focus on.

I agree that the situation with your mum is not working. First off, is there any way you can cover her with medical insurance in the country she's in? You can't be expected to cover £35k medical emergencies as and when. Is she not owed a pension or state benefits where she lives? I just can't correlate her always instilling good money values in you and then allowing you to blow the £30k you've worked hard to save. You're living on the absolute minimum and not using your money on yourself at all, and I worry this may effect your spirits going forward. You deserve the home/things you saved for and it's time to sit down with your mum and plan a more sustainable plan for her living expenses going forward. She should be making the lifestyle sacrifices here, not you.

Loadedsoul · 21 August 2019 at 2:50AM

Thank you both for the response. My mum had savings which have all gone into her care. She’s had schizophrenia for the past 10 years and this year was diagnosed with dementia. I have tried to relocate her multiple times here but unfortunately couldn’t get a visa for her.
There is no pension or state benefits where she is.

My mum is all the family I have left. I went through years of depression being separated and lonely but I manage now with good people around me.

This debt might seem like nothing but feels like a mountain to me, guess I have to be patient with myself!

On another note The MBNA transfer didn’t go through , they’ve asked me to wait for the card to come and they can try then.

Loadedsoul · 27 August 2019 at 10:28AM

Good Morning everyone - just to keep you updated. I sat down with all the bills and outstanding amounts from my bank and cards. I hadn't realised i had gone way into overdraft. So in total i'm in about 5000 of debt.

Also for anyone looking into the Amex transfer - it went off very smoothly and happened in 1 working day.

I have moved the 5K onto the Amex and am now looking at a 2 year payment plan.

May start a diary on the board and start hitting this on the head with a hammer

GBNI · 27 August 2019 at 3:39PM

Good luck Loadedsoul, the situation with your mum sounds very stressful so I hope things go well for you both x

Loadedsoul · 27 August 2019 at 3:46PM

Thank you GBNI! Yes still is a stressful situation - she's a tough lady even with everything going on.

Thank you all for your help, truly appreciate it

ferox666 · 2 September 2019 at 7:14PM

Hi Loaded - I didn’t want to read without commenting; what you are doing (working hard & helping your mum in this situation) is very admirable. Best wishes to you and please don’t panic about the debt, you will see from this board that others are managing much higher amounts. Good luck x

enthusiasticsaver · 2 September 2019 at 8:13PM

Good that you have a plan to get rid of the £5k of debt.

I too dont see how this is sustainable long term with you covering both yours and your mums expenses especially as the country she lives in has no free medical care and she presumably has no assets. If this happens again I don't see how you can continue to cover medical costs to this degree. You will end up jeopardising your whole financial future. Not sure what the answer is without knowing about other options in her home country.

Good luck with sorting it out though.

Loadedsoul · 12 September 2019 at 8:48AM

It’s getting nigh on impossible. I’ve started a diary about it. I’m actually way worse off than £5k. Her medical bills are just piling up and I’m not sure how I’m going to sustain this much longer. This month added another £2k. I’m trying to dig my way out but just feels hopeless.

ryanm8655 · 12 September 2019 at 9:03AM

What country is she in?

Why don’t you fill in an SOA and breakdown your finances for a start.

It doesn’t sound like the medical issues are going away so this is going to get worse before it gets better. It’s clear it isn’t sustainable for you to be funding them so you need to consider alternatives to you funding care.

It’s admirable what you are doing but I think you need to confront the situation.

Going to be in debt - help/guidance required

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