Made A Terrible Mistake

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  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 34,655 Forumite
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    gettingtheresometime wrote: »
    Do you know I was wondering the complete opposite.

    I was wondering if the man engineered this as perhaps he wanted a family and his wife didn't, or possibly couldn't.

    Whilst his actions seem honourable (only in the sense that he's willing to support the child) they seem on another hand a little creepy.
    My thoughts too.
    'wanting to go to appointments'
    'suggesting names'


    Not - imho - the sort of reaction a married man whose mistress has announced she's pregnant would be expected to have.
  • Mummy2cheekymonkeys
    Mummy2cheekymonkeys Posts: 441 Forumite
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    Mylife wrote: »
    As for telling his wife I have already done so much damage and do not want to cause more misery

    How very moral of you!
  • System
    System Posts: 178,092 Community Admin
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    Mummy2cheekymonkeys wrote: »
    How very moral of you!
    and how very moral of him!
  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 34,655 Forumite
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    Mummy2cheekymonkeys wrote: »
    How very moral of you!
    Judi wrote: »
    and how very moral of him!

    I always think the married person bears the most blame but neither party comes out smelling of roses
    :(
  • System
    System Posts: 178,092 Community Admin
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    I always think the married person bears the most blame.

    Yes I do too.
  • ViolaLass
    ViolaLass Posts: 5,764 Forumite
    hazyjo wrote: »
    Not sure I agree. I was adopted and have no knowledge of mine and wouldn't trace saying they owed me that information. What difference does it honestly make? Does everyone worry about dying from what their grandparents did, or being more at risk of getting certain diseases. From what I've seen, it's as much a hindrance, if not more so, than not knowing.

    Every child has the right to know - the choice, just as you did.
  • suejb2
    suejb2 Posts: 1,918 Forumite
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    A couple of things

    Rightly or wrongly I have the opinion that the one in a partnership : be that married or involved, in an affair, is far worse than the single.

    Maybe he used substandard contraception wanting to trap the other?

    Men get a bad press for running from their responsibilities, this guy wants to help, initially monetary but he can't be damned for that. Take the offer and invest.

    Ultimately the wife needs to know but that's not your call.
    Life is like a bath, the longer you are in it the more wrinkly you become.
  • badmemory
    badmemory Posts: 7,734 Forumite
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    He wants out of the marriage & hasn't got the guts to tell her. He is using your pregnancy as his excuse. He will be telling all & sundry the baby is his hence his desire to be publicly seen with you, the cowards way of getting someone else to finally tell his wife. As soon as she throws him out he will disappear from both your lives. I do hope you don't work with him as your job is likely to disappear too.
  • System
    System Posts: 178,092 Community Admin
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    He wants out of the marriage & hasn't got the guts to tell her. He is using your pregnancy as his excuse. He will be telling all & sundry the baby is his hence his desire to be publicly seen with you, the cowards way of getting someone else to finally tell his wife. As soon as she throws him out he will disappear from both your lives. I do hope you don't work with him as your job is likely to disappear too.

    Not all men are bum wipes you know at least he is trying to do the right thing.
  • onomatopoeia99
    onomatopoeia99 Posts: 6,957 Forumite
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    suejb2 wrote: »
    A
    Maybe he used substandard contraception wanting to trap the other?
    Maybe she used no contraception but state "I'm on the pill" wanting a child for herself, and selected a married man hoping he'd be grateful for her not wanting him involved. We don't simply know given the sparse information provided and it isn't really relevant to the matter at hand. Conception has occurred, the mother intends to carry to term, whether an accident or deliberate is neither here nor there at this point.
    Proud member of the wokerati, though I don't eat tofu.Home is where my books are.Solar PV 5.2kWp system, SE facing, >1% shading, installed March 2019.Mortgage free July 2023
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