Advice required: wedding day 'jobs' to give a young girl please

Mup_2 · 30 January 2006 at 3:27PM

Hi
I only want one bridesmaid (age 10) for my WD and all is now arranged but a relative now asking me if I can involve young niece on other side of family (aged 9). I don't want an 'extra' bridesmaid as feel less fuss = less expense and worry!

Is suggesting 'flower girl' a bit too babyish for this age? Would it be rude to ask the girls family to arrange buying basket/flower petals etc?

I'm happy for anyone to be involved doing 'jobs' but not sure what I could ask her to do, apart from the flower thing...

Can anyone help with suggestions please?
Thanks, Mup.

funky-footprints · 30 January 2006 at 3:34PM

is she too young to do a reading ? a little poem during the service. i was a little older (12) at my godfathers wedding and they only wanted grown up bridesmaids but gave me that little duty. I was thrilled to be honest.

If you only want one bridesmaid then you shouldnt feel pressured into having another one, and I see a flower girl as another bridesmaid realy, surely the flower girl wears the same dress as the bridesmaid/s ???

across · 30 January 2006 at 3:36PM

i dont think it is too babyish if she wants to do it! you'll know if it's babyish if the littlegirl doesnt want to do it!! i'd suggest it and go along with her to an extent ie, if she feels silly dont make her do it cos you may end up with a sulky 9 yr old!!!!!! remember to check at wedding location if youre allowed to have rose petals cos remember someone has to clean them up and not all places like confetti even!!!!!!!! i dont think my vicar would have liked petals up the aisle so just a thought best to ask first good luck!

Fairy_Michelle · 30 January 2006 at 3:39PM

I think flower girl is fine for this age. Most little girls of any age love weddings and I think anyone would be pleased to help. I'm not sure though that you should ask the girls family to provide the basket and flowers though unless you are close and they will not be offended. one suggestion is that you ask the girl if she would like to do this and then perhaps oin consulatation with her famioly but the requirements. It might even be worth looing at charity shops for a basket that perhaps the girl could decorate herself with ribbons and things to tie into your theme. Also ask yyour friendly florist about petals flowers the are maybe going out os season for throwing these will probably not cost as much. If all else fails check with your venue and ask if you can use confetti petals I have seen paper rose petals and they seem nice from a distance.
If you are getting married in church she could help with giving out order of service Hymn books etc.

starlite_2 · 30 January 2006 at 4:21PM

well firstly i would imagine venues/churches prefer paper petals indoors as they are much easier to sweep up afterwards

you could however ask her to greet and give programmes to the guests on entrance, giving her a corsage will also help to make her feel more part of it.

or perhaps she could (along with some others you might think want included) 'recieve' you at the reception with flowers or confetti, in which case they could coordinate/buy their own dresses and flowers. if you also bought her a disposable camera and asked her to take pictures she would feel very special, and i have seen results from friends who have done this and they are really nice, kids will take photos that proffessionals and adults won't even think of!

sorry to blah...
i've been wondering this as i plan to get married next year..not making firm plans yet, but just suggestions, and i have such a big family, plus close friends, friends with young children etc that i am also going to feel lost at who to be bridesmaids and what else to suggest etc.

Becles · 30 January 2006 at 7:32PM

starlite wrote:

i have seen results from friends who have done this and they are really nice, kids will take photos that proffessionals and adults won't even think of!

My brother had disposable cameras on the tables for people to take snaps at his wedding reception. They'd spent ages wondering what all the pics of orange fuzz was, until I explained it was my then 4 year old taking close up pics of his toy monkey

I'm sure a 9 year old would have more sense though!

What about:
handing out orders of service to guests? (assuming you are having them)
or handing out favours/slices of cake to guests at the reception?
You could get a pretty basket for her to carry round which wouldn't cost much.

Gingham_Ribbon · 30 January 2006 at 7:59PM

I would make sure she and your bridesmaid are doing totally different things. What are your bridesmaid's jobs? It would be a shame if she felt pushed out by the other one.

I like the idea of a reading and handing things out.

Have a lovely day.

Madmel · 30 January 2006 at 10:37PM

We had a chief bridesmaid who was my grown-up sister, then two 7 year old cousins. The girls main job was to look after my husband's ring, which we tied onto a lacy cushion and they then brought it forward. It gave them a feeling of responsibility and meant that I didn't have to worry about where to put the ring, as the best man only flew in from the US that morning!

Good luck

newmommyjen · 21 March 2006 at 11:02PM

Emm instead of throwing confetti, u can have all the wee kids and big too, to blow bubbles . And she could be in charge of giving them out, the bubble bottles/ bubble guns. It would be so pretty on a sunny day, with the sun catching the light in them.
I had 2 to many flower girls on my wedding. They were 8-10 years old.
Or ask her to go around the tables with a guest book for ppl to leave a message in.

tee_pee_2 · 21 March 2006 at 11:09PM

Ay my wedding day I put my neice in charge of the guest book too. She carried it around very protectively and it stayed in pristine condition. ie no beer stains cos it wasn't left on the table.

Rachie_B · 22 March 2006 at 10:38AM

i agree a flower girl ais same as Bm really ,you still have the expense of a dress /. shoes etc

i think the guest book idea is fab,she will feel important to have such a task to do : ) or giving out OOD / favours / cake etc ,anything which gets her involved with all the guests are good ideas

if shes not too shy then the short poem / reading could be good

a popular one is the "how much do you love me" or the "from me to you" winnie the pooh ones : )

Advice required: wedding day 'jobs' to give a young girl please

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