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Urgh. just urgh. I'm starting to feel like everything is spiralling out of control a bit and I need to recharge but don't . I don't seem to have any time in the day to get the simplest tasks done. I've been wanting to dust and hoover my house through for the last 4 days, but it's 9pm or later by the time I seem to have a spare 5 minute window and then I'm shattered. I'm trying to be as organised as I can with everything too, such as lunches the night before and batch cooking etc. I just don't know the answer.

I've bitten the bullet and ordered an online shop for tonight, paying for it with the credit card. I haven't been eating well which has left me feeling tired and sluggish and have been struggling to find things to take for lunch as I'm running so low on a lot of basics. I only had around £20 left to spend on groceries and was trying to figure out what I could leave and what was essential, but didn't want to go round the supermarket adding things up in my head and worrying whether I had enough to pay for everything at the checkout, so I've done a HUGE online shop of around £90:eek: which will fill the fridge, freezer and cupboards up.
I will pay it off the card when I get paid.

It's been a worrying week with my Mum. A mistake by the hospital could have killed her yesterday. :( We were lucky that the hospital pharmacist of all people pointed out an issue which probably saved her life. People ask me how we carry on as a family with everything that has happened and is ongoing, but what other choice do we have.

The building work doesn't seem to have moved on, although I did see the builder driving down my street as I was leaving this morning so I hope something has been done. It's rained since though, so I'm sure that's been excuse to down tools and flee.

OH kindly bought me some YS bargains last night which are feeding me for lunch and dinner tonight. Both ready meals - as I said I'm not eating well presently - but I won't turn down free food.
Hopefully once the shopping has been delivered and I actually have some healthy food in I will be able to plan healthier meals.

Talking of which, someone has very kindly used my ww referral (thank you, whoever you are!) so I should hopefully acquire a free month's subscription, saving £12.

I'm so glad it's Friday... I'm looking forward to a lazy weekend with my boy.

Happy weekend everybody xx

I woke up feeling incredibly anxious this morning with the overwhelming need to be with people - family. I even considered driving me and DS back to my parents overnight, but that would be a 7 hour round trip in 24 hours in this awful weather and would be daft for an overnight stay.

I then thought I would invite a colleague of OH’s and his family over today for a catch up. They are very good friends and feel more like family, not that we see them often enough. I decided it wouldn’t be a great idea with my anxiety levels as they were.

So I phoned OH - no answer on his house phone and mobile which is not like him - cue panic.
So I phoned my parents - also no answer from home or mobiles which normally means my Mum is in hospital again (she was sent him home yesterday).
I finally got hold of OH again and he was fine, just didn’t hear the phone. Told him how I was feeling and I couldn’t help but cry.
Later I finally got hold of my parents who also hadn’t heard the phone... also unheard of!!!

So, DS and I have been in all morning and he’s having a PJ day apparently! The weather is awful and neither of us want to go out in it.
DS has been amusing himself with two toilet rolls, a notebook, a torch and some paper clips for an hour or so! We’ve watched a dvd and I’ve made us lunch and will be cooking a roast chicken dinner for tea. OH is going to come over and have some too.

One load of washing is on and will have to go in the tumble dryer when it’s finished. I have the de-humidifier on upstairs to try and help this old house a little too.

I’ve spent some money and ordered the frames I’ve been putting off buying. They were nearly £50 combined as were very large, but it will make me happy finally putting them up and I’ve been ploughing lots in to savings lately so am not beating myself up about it.
I have also spent £50 on Christmas gifts, paid for with money from the gift savings account.

Thank you CCL, it is horrible having a brain that works against you half the time isn’t it. I do hope yours has given you a bit of a break this week!