The Garden Fence - proper Old Style support and chat!

Ok, morning all. In an attempt to raise the tone slightly but still with a theme, in one of the locations I've worked in, you could look out of the windows and see the clever people training the birds for the Harry Potter films. Not quite the same as Ann Summers.

Jazee, I once spent a fantastic summer evening helping with the training of 3 Harris hawks. They are amazing birds that hunt as a team. My DH was used as target practice during a display, to show how quick and strong a beautiful gyrfalcon is. :rotfl:

Mar, I hope you are feeling much better today (((0)))

And to think I always thought Bexley village was very conservative (as well as Conservative) and a bit up itself.

Monna - you'd be very welcome on the Konmarie thread. It really is life changing magic you know...

Hope you are feeling better today Mar

I've been struggling this weekend to tell the truth. I thought the initial shock and disbelief had passed, but no, it is there lurking underneath ready to catch me unawares...


I can see some reasoning for it, dad's ashes came home this week so we have to decide what to do with them, together with mum's which have been waiting for him. The information a few pages ago was really helpful, thank you to who posted it.

But also, there has been confusion over the will and what was going to happen to the house. After a bit of to-ing and fro-ing a will has come to light which leaves everything to one brother. The brother who was dads carer. It's not that much of a surprise, dad had spoken of it, but then said he wished he hadn't changed the will and then we weren't sure whether the new one had been torn up (a SiL said he had). We had thought that the mirror will he did with mum was the relevant will where everything had been split 5 ways between the siblings with said brother having a 6 month period to find himself a house or buy us out. Bear in mind he already lived rent and Bill free and received carers allowance. Additionally dad had put all his bank accounts in joint names so brother got the (not inconsiderable) contents of those anyway.

I thought I was fairly philosophical about it, but then I had a vivid dream about it all and now I feel it is really unfair. And I am feeling quite bitter. Not really for me, but for my younger brother an sister. My older brother and I are comfortably off and the money (about £20,000 each) would have been nice but is not essential to us. But younger brother and sister have sweet FA, both have children and that sort of money is s massive deal to them.

Inheriting brother has had thousands and thousands off mum and dad over the years whereas the others of us have never taken anything so, aside from the actual money, I do think it's unfair not to be acknowledged in any way. Dad's thought process was that we all had something and carer brother didn't. But we, older brother and I, are comfortable through our own efforts and decisions and younger two don't even own their own homes, they both rent.

Sorry for the rant, it feels better to get it off my chest and I will get over it. Dad was of totally sound mind when he did it and I don't believe him to have been coerced, and in a way he was right as this brother has made some poor life decisions and, maybe, hopefully, this can put him on a better path. That house will be a total millstone around the brothers neck, unless he sells it, because it is in a poor state of repair.

Ah, sorry all - we can go back to talking about sex toys and hefferlumps now

VJs it's something I don't understand as everything was split between me and my sister but it was I that dealt with the estate and I alone. I had debt going back 20 years that I had to get to the bottom of. Thankfully Mam had piles and piles of unopened post going back years that told me exactly what was gong on. "Debt is your forte fuddle" so it fell to me but dealing with something so raw within my personal life at that time wrecked me emotionally. I was really bitter about the unfairness of it all. My sister knew someone in the water board so she took that one on. My sister was sent a hamper full of goodies as a thank you for swiftly dealing with what mam owed 'in this difficult time'. She didn't share any of it. That tiny act of u fairness was the straw that broke the camel's back and I wasn't in a good place. The reason why I'm telling you this VJs is because it's not about money. It's about fairness and unfairness. If something is unfair then it doesn't matter if it is trivial or catastrophic in my mind. Unfairness evokes the same emotion, period.

That leads me nicely to something I inherited. My dad's wooden handled, metal garden hand tools. Today they've been cleaned and oiled. They've not been used in 29 years but they will be with me as I learn to grow. Oh don't. The emotion is immense. VJs find something sentimental for your family members. If you get it right the feeling is priceless.

And back down to earth with a bump. The old guy contingent are on the plots again. I've had all winter to just get on with things as I prepare. One had told me that I should put black plastic down on my paths so the weeds don't come up. While he is 100% correct I don't want to use black plastic. I don't want to pay for it and want to be as environmentally sound as I can. I used cardboard and then wood chip. Old guy asked if I was suppressing the weeds. Now I know how they work now. They try to lead you down a path whereby they can tell you you're wrong. Not this time, I was ready. "Oh no" I replied. "I'm not at all bothered about having to weed. This is going down to stop me slipping on all this mud!" The old guy couldn't retort. There is always a retort! I'll get there.