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  • FIRST POST
    • rogermc
    • By rogermc 1st Nov 19, 9:09 AM
    • 1Posts
    • 0Thanks
    rogermc
    advice needed guys
    • #1
    • 1st Nov 19, 9:09 AM
    advice needed guys 1st Nov 19 at 9:09 AM
    heres the story ....sorry about spelling and grammer never have to write much..

    About 2yrs ago my wife decided to go full time against my wishes because we had a young daughter who was 4 at the time and i was working nights.(still am )so it would really hard for me to get a sleep pattern..
    4 months into her new job i felt there was a change in our relationship..2months later i found out she is messaging a guy she was working with on snapchat,even when we were on a family holiday she was still messaging this guy.
    after the holiday i decided enough is enough and moved into the spare room.
    i asked her many times what is going on in our relationship but she just kept walking away.
    i told her last year after xmas i would be leaving because i couldnt live like this anymore,so thats what i did in march.

    she now lives in the family home with my daughter and the dog and i had to get a new home and start again from scratch.

    I still go round to her house at 6am every morning while she goes to work..so i wake my daughter up at 8 and take her to school.
    i feel so tired doing this as i cant sleep as much as i should .
    would i be wrong if i asked her to change her hours?
Page 1
    • HampshireH
    • By HampshireH 3rd Nov 19, 7:33 AM
    • 1,898 Posts
    • 2,518 Thanks
    HampshireH
    • #2
    • 3rd Nov 19, 7:33 AM
    • #2
    • 3rd Nov 19, 7:33 AM
    Hiya

    Yes it would probably come across an a bit odd but I guess it depends on the job and how flexible they would be.

    What is unreasonable is expecring you to be there every morning for 6am.

    She should get childcare sorted to cover this if she chooses to work these hours.

    Sort out suitable access to your child. If you can do this twice a week then great but you will be no good to your child if you are too exhausted to work and earn and then struggle to care for your daughter

    If you are visiting daily it must be amicable to a certain degree.

    Think about what would work for you and have a sit down to talk about it.
    • BAFE
    • By BAFE 3rd Nov 19, 6:48 PM
    • 195 Posts
    • 185 Thanks
    BAFE
    • #3
    • 3rd Nov 19, 6:48 PM
    • #3
    • 3rd Nov 19, 6:48 PM
    Can't you change your hours? What are your shift times?
    • HampshireH
    • By HampshireH 3rd Nov 19, 7:09 PM
    • 1,898 Posts
    • 2,518 Thanks
    HampshireH
    • #4
    • 3rd Nov 19, 7:09 PM
    • #4
    • 3rd Nov 19, 7:09 PM
    Even if he could his ex would still expect him to turn up at 6am every day. It would just move the problem from one end of the day to the other.

    OP what are your access arrangements because 6-8am getting a child up and to school is not the same as quality dad/child time.

    Sounds like OP has made many adjustments to ensure his ex remains in the house, vontinues work etc.

    A compromise is needed
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