ASD and Appointee

I too think it best if you stay away at least until your money is going to where it should be. I feel (and correct me if I’m wrong) that your mum is only saying you can go back on the grounds that the financial situation stays as it is with her benefiting from it more than you.

I wish you luck and hope you get things sorted
M

I don’t want to seem pushy, I’m autistic too and I can come across that way but you have some options.

If your relationship with your Mum is otherwise quite good you can agree to go home on the grounds that someone else deals with your money. In Scotland we call it financial guardianship but it might be called something else in the rest of the UK. Your financial guardian can be anyone, a relative (maybe gran?)or a professional person like a social worker. You can also get support to take over your own finances eventually. Guardianship is handed down by the courts and is serious, much more legally binding than appointeeship from the DWP.

You can move somewhere else, supported or sheltered housing if it’s suotable. Places like that would also have someone who can help deal with money.

The important thing is you’re not being exploited. The relationship you described in your opening post isn’t a natural relationship. You should be treated the same as your siblings as much as possible. If they pay £200 to live at home then so should you. If you then also spend £30 extra on heating this should be explained to you in a way you understand. You not having your own money to buy shoes and little things like toiletries and deodorant isn’t fair, even my aunt has that and she lacks capacity to make any decisions but the most basic decisions about what she wants to happen in that exact moment.

Social setrvicea are stretched and may push you to take the easiest route for them but you need someone who will make your voice be heard. You should ask your gran if she can help you find an independent advocacy service. Your GP might be able to put you in touch with one.

I know this is a lot to take in. Take a few days and don’t decide anything now. Try not to let anyone use emotions to manipulate you, it can be hard to realise this is happening when you have a disability that doesn’t allow you to understand the full spectrum of emotions.

We don't know what benefits you're getting but you'd probably have much more than the £20 A month your mum has been giving you. If you can see citizens advice bureau soon that would be good, because of how much the benefit system is changing.

Sheltered housing is highly unlikely to mean your PIP gets reduced. People living on their own in regular housing can still claim it.

It's hard to know what your bills would be. I live alone and I can tell you what I spend, but from reading on here other people's bills are very different. If you read on the debt free wannabe board here you might be able to get an idea, but make sure you're reading about single people in flats and not families in big houses!