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    • MSE Sarah
    • By MSE Sarah 18th Jun 19, 4:40 PM
    • 194Posts
    • 84Thanks
    MSE Sarah
    Money Moral Dilemma: Should I make my friend pay rent?
    • #1
    • 18th Jun 19, 4:40 PM
    Money Moral Dilemma: Should I make my friend pay rent? 18th Jun 19 at 4:40 PM
    This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

    My best friend recently moved in with me and my partner after a break-up. We thought it'd be short-term, but she hasn't settled on a new flat yet. We suggested once that if she stays longer-term, she could contribute a small amount (about half 'normal' rent), but this hasn't been mentioned since and she hasn't offered any money.

    Unfortunately the MSE team can't always answer money moral dilemma questions as contributions are often emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be enjoyed as a point of debate and discussed at face value.

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    • Patjan
    • By Patjan 19th Jun 19, 3:32 PM
    • 30 Posts
    • 52 Thanks
    You don't say whether you are a tenant or a home owner, but either way you should be aware of 'squatting' rights, etc. If you are a tenant yourself, then check you are not violating any part of your tenancy agreement. Other than that, I think a friendly chat is best advice, explaining your position re. her financial non-contribution, that you offered originally on the basis of a temporary stay, etc., etc. You don't say, either, whether she simply sleeps at your place, or does she also have meals: breakfast, or whatever. That sould also be on your 'chat' agenda, in that you are funding her cost of living. Always better to settle things amicably, but if not, then it's probably the big stick.....
    • happyinflorida
    • By happyinflorida 19th Jun 19, 4:27 PM
    • 776 Posts
    • 665 Thanks
    The dilemma doesn't mention your best friends situation regarding where she was living before the break up - is she still having to contribute towards previous rent or mortgage? If yes, she hasn't probably got spare cash - you need to bring this up to find out if she has got spare cash or not to start contributing towards staying with you.

    If she is going to be there longer, it is only fair that she pay something - as long as she can afford to do so, if she can't afford to, you first need to discuss with your partner how long you will be happy to have her living there completely free as obviously she is your best friend but it's going to be costing you to have her there.

    If both of you are happy to have her stay there but she cannot afford to pay anything, there are other ways she could help without costing her money - doing all your cleaning, washing, ironing - that would help you.

    Long term though, if she can afford to pay, I'd get a proper rental agreement sorted out through a solicitor - you might not want to with your best friend, but take my word for it, this is best in case relations sour.
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 19th Jun 19, 4:35 PM
    • 22,839 Posts
    • 61,800 Thanks
    If I'd helped a friend out by giving her somewhere to stay in her hour of need and the stay was longer than expected (but of course we have no idea about more information because it's a MMD ) and she hadn't broached the subject of financial contribution to the household, I'd be questioning whether she really was a friend or a user.
    • omendata
    • By omendata 19th Jun 19, 9:18 PM
    • 70 Posts
    • 67 Thanks
    Does not sound like much of a friend
    Yes. Pay or go.
    No big loss who needs friends who have no gratitude or common courtesy
    • pollypenny
    • By pollypenny 20th Jun 19, 7:08 AM
    • 26,240 Posts
    • 69,365 Thanks
    A good friend would be contributing to food costs immediately, you've helped her.

    She may be struggling to find a flat that she can afford, so a quiet chat and offer to help may be necessary. If you ask her to pay rent, it's tantamount to saying she can can stay long-term.
    Member #14 of SKI-ers club

    Words, words, they're all we have to go by!.

    (Pity they are mangled by this autocorrect!)
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