Mooloo’s Managing it in 2018

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  • beanielou
    beanielou Posts: 90,179 Ambassador
    Academoney Grad I'm a Volunteer Ambassador Mortgage-free Glee! Name Dropper
    Sorry to hear that things are still not good.

    I think your dream should be your motivation.
    I am a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on Mortgage Free Wannabe & Local Money Saving Scotland & Disability Money Matters. If you need any help on those boards, do let me know.Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any post you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button , or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. All views are my own & not the official line of Money Saving Expert.

    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/14.**Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** MFW. Finally mortgage free O2/ 2021****
    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.     ***Keep plodding*** Out of debt, out of danger. ***Be the difference.***
    One debt remaining. Home improvement loan.
  • thorsoak
    thorsoak Posts: 7,166 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary
    Reality check here Mooloo - if you were to manage to get to Portugal - you would still be worrying yourself sick about the possibility of losing these grandchildren/twins 1 and 2 plus DS - not to mention worrying about how Biggest is coping. Could you go out to Portugal and shut yourself off from those emotions?

    If you could, then exercise the same cut offs over here. x
  • Savvy_sewing
    Savvy_sewing Posts: 11,574 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post Rampant Recycler
    beanielou wrote: »
    Sorry to hear that things are still not good.

    I think your dream should be your motivation.

    Today has been a tough day in one way and a good in another.
    Food for thought.
    So I am back at the bottom of the rung, so I will have to find a way to get up to the next level.
    I need to help myself as well as my family. But I will have to come first!
    When I got the email tonight about the house I was excited because I knew that places were still available but sad that I am no longer in the position to go.
    One of these days I will get the email that I can respond to!
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
  • Savvy_sewing
    Savvy_sewing Posts: 11,574 Forumite
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    forty thousand euros! That's what all those numbers should say!

    Thoresoak, I am so far away from my dreams this year that it probably doesn't make any difference anymore!
    Biggest will cope. The scan shows just one baby. If she looks after her health and slows down her life she will be fine. She is taking steps to do that.
    I am not sure if I will ever stop worrying, but as pointed out to me often enough I cannot do anything else for them if they don't want to help themselves.
    DS was told yesterday that I am not making enough money and I will have to close my business when the lease runs out. Twin1 was told along side her partner and his family on Sunday.
    Twin2 was told over the phone. So they all now know (again) that I don't have any money left. Can't give what I don't have.
    They will have to sink or swim now.
    I intend to go back to the house at the weekend and see if I can do some clearing up along side of her, and him!, and I will be telling them that they are in deed jeopardising their family and that they are putting me in an awful position because I would have probably called Social myself yesterday if I had not been family, and that I still will, for the boys sake if I don't see an improvement every week. I am not doing them any favours by not highlighting the issues, and if they don't respond this weekend then I will have no choice but to protect the boys. The reality is plain to see. They are not coping.
    I need to get up, wake Dgd, and get her to Biggest and back here before 9.10am
    I am on my own in the shop for the next two days.
    There is a lot to do
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
  • Savvy_sewing
    Savvy_sewing Posts: 11,574 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post Rampant Recycler
    I am a wreck today. I talked to Biggest and my Mum before work, and I decided that I cannot live with myself if I don't call the Health Visitor today and raise my concerns. Although that is proving more difficult to do than I expected. The world lives by answer machines and messages.
    I am struggling to be bright and cheerful and serve customers and I have yet to start sewing.
    I may be doing the best or the worst thing ever depending on who's opinion it is. But I see obviously they are not coping and I don't think it is fair to the children. My Son and the GF are big enough and ugly enough to look after themselves and if they want to live in squalor then so be it. But those children deserve better.
    I am waiting for the Health Visitor to return my call.
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
  • tiredmum2
    tiredmum2 Posts: 285 Forumite
    "I may be doing the best or the worst thing ever depending on who's opinion it is. But I see obviously they are not coping and I don't think it is fair to the children. My Son and the GF are big enough and ugly enough to look after themselves and if they want to live in squalor then so be it. But those children deserve better."

    If you are so concerned about these children you should be calling Social Services or speaking to your social worker immediately 1 day for a child to be living in squalor is too many
  • Savvy_sewing
    Savvy_sewing Posts: 11,574 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post Rampant Recycler
    tiredmum2 wrote: »
    "I may be doing the best or the worst thing ever depending on who's opinion it is. But I see obviously they are not coping and I don't think it is fair to the children. My Son and the GF are big enough and ugly enough to look after themselves and if they want to live in squalor then so be it. But those children deserve better."

    If you are so concerned about these children you should be calling Social Services or speaking to your social worker immediately 1 day for a child to be living in squalor is too many

    I am waiting for them to get back to me!
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
  • Savvy_sewing
    Savvy_sewing Posts: 11,574 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post Rampant Recycler
    Not a very productive day. Not surprised really.
    Call didn't come back, I rang again.
    Busy up and down serving. Small jobs tackled.
    Blinds back again as some how they have managed to unstring them!
    Fittings done for wedding and proms today.
    One lady said kindly that I have an excellent reputation in the town and highly thought of. Could not have come at a better time really.
    My spirits are quite low with everything else going on.
    Forms have arrived to review my allowance. Just papers in the post this time no actual visit.
    Got a fitting booked in at 7 pm and can't get a response from them to confirm so I am going to have to go back just in case they do turn up. I shall be really annoyed if they don't.
    Just time for a reheated dinner then!
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
  • Little_Miss_Winner
    Little_Miss_Winner Posts: 4,168 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Not a lot to offer - other than a virtual hug.

    Did the HV not get back to you at all, maybe they will first thing in the morning.

    For what it is worth I think you have made the right choice by contacting the HV. I would have to do the same thing i'm afraid - son or not. Like you say they are adults and can look after themselves, the kiddies cant.

    Hope you get some rest tonight xx
  • Savvy_sewing
    Savvy_sewing Posts: 11,574 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post Rampant Recycler
    Yesterday I felt exhausted and defeated.
    But I know that will not help me or anyone else for that matter.
    BF came over, but we sat in our own little worlds until bedtime. I dug out my kindle and reserected my Portuguese while he watched some trash tv.
    I went to bed at 10pm.
    This morning he left at 6.30 and I have spent all that time with coloured pens and a plot to turn my frown upside down!
    I wrote my negative thoughts and then made myself revisit them by flipping them.
    So now instead of a list of 7 woes I have a list of 7 actions.
    I am determined not to give up today. I couldn't say that yesterday.
    On my way to work I have a small amount to bank for the business. I am then going to buy myself some daffodils on the market, and brighten up my desk.
    I am going to plan my work knowing that I can only achieve small jobs and base my self on the shop floor.
    If the HV gets back to me I will go upstairs obviously to talk.
    Bf is aware I plan to start cleaning up DSs on Sunday.
    So for today I am going to just take one job at a time and do it to the best of my ability and tick it off the list.
    We will have the Steak and salad for tea tonight.
    The washing is on, time for a very quick shower and off to work then.
    When I die I will know that I have lived, loved, mattered and made a difference, even if in a small way.
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