Eager Elephant's Effective Everyday Excursion ...

Eager_Elephant · 1 January 2013 at 9:56PM

Happy 3rd Anniversary Diary :j:T

Sorry I have neglected you lately :rotfl:

My mo-jo has got up and gone and I have not done regular updates since about May I think - my life seems to one huge mess at the moment.

I have updated my debt speadsheet and my debts have only reduced by £70 this year :mad::eek::mad::eek:

I am obviously annoyed but it cannot be helped with paying for 2 houses...

well 2013 will be the year of changes :T

I have told relative that we can no longer live in this house, DH has been poorly on and off all year and his breakdown just topped it all off. He has not been in his job long so only gets SSP which means the shortfall has to be met by me and I am fed up of everything.

Also DH does not like his job and this is not helping his mental health - if we only have 1 house to pay for it can be afforded on my wages only so if he needs to give up work he can.

Relative is on the list for a sheltered bungalow/flat and we have been to view one - I hope that we will be back home by end of Feb. Our house is not completely redecorated but I just want to get home now.

I also wonder whether my marriage will survive 2013

. DH and I are having problems and having posted on here about it all I have come to realise that what I thought was a controlling relationship from my side is actually me being controlled by him

When I think back the whole relationship has been built on manipulation (from his side) and guilt/fear (from my side) and this cannot continue.

Once relative has gone I will no longer feel responsible for him and therefore I can concentrate on my marriage and whether it should continue.

I have mentioned before about our destructive relationship - the problem is when things are good they are good and when they are bad they are so bad:(

I will try to post my regularly and I always do for Jan and then it peters out - I am fed up of posting negative things about my relationship - I want to post positive things but there again it would not be a diary without the negatives and the positives.

Then again I feel like I need to post the negative otherwise DH tries to persuade me that they were not as bad as I thought and/or it did not happen when I know it did.

Here's to a better 2013 :beer:

beanielou · 1 January 2013 at 10:15PM

Sorry that things are so tough at the moment EE.
Keep plodding & keep posting.

Eager_Elephant · 2 January 2013 at 8:33AM

Forgot to say the most important thing................................

Xmas and Birthdays in Dec/Jan have been paid for without using a credit card :T:j:T:j:T:j:T

This is the first year in 12 years :eek:

(We have cheated a bit in that DS has been given a cheque for Xmas and Bday (as he needs to save for a car when he is 17) and instead of him paying it into this account in one go I am going to set up a junior regular saver and pay in £30 per month so by next Jan he will have all the money due to him - very :money: to spread the cost :rotfl:)

Eager_Elephant · 5 January 2013 at 10:36AM

Met my friend on Weds - saved money by going in to town with DH and then DD spent some of her Xmas money.
Gave my friend £20 as she had paid for everything for the play and food.
Spent some Love2shop vouchers which I had won on surveys - got DD a top which was reduced in BHS and also got DH some new herbal stuff to try (so if they don't work we haven't wasted any money :money:)

No spend on Thurs and low spend on Fri as had to pay for car parking for work.

Am trying the 5:2 diet, I started this week but only decided on Weds so did a fast day on Thurs and will in future do a Tues and Fri. The fast was a bit odd and I went over the allowed calories but this is because I was not very organised - next week will be different.

Relative is being a nightmare with looking at properties to rent etc. Given he does not have much money he does not have much choice but when the properties are coming up on the council list he is not registering an interest as he thinks they will be too small :mad:
What he has failed to realise is that the vast majority of sheltered accomodation is 1 bedroom and it is not their fault he has a stamp collection to fill a 2nd bedroom. He thinks as he has asked for a 2 bed he will get one but in our area although you might be number 1 on the list because you have been on the list longest priority goes to someone with a 2 bedroom need not someone with a 1 bedroom need and a stamp collection :rotfl:
Then he says he does not want a particular bungalow because it is in a council road :eek:
Well I am sorry but you have no money because you gave it to your sons who spent it all so your choice is minimal.
He better get bidding soon as we are hoping to move home by Feb and if he is homeless that is his own fault.
I have hopefully encouraged him to bid on all the sheltered near us because I think he needs to view them to get an idea about what they are like before we make a decision.

Am still sorting things out ready for the move because my house is full of furnitre plus we have this house full of furniture so a lot of it will have to go and I think if we start now that will be best.

Eager_Elephant · 26 February 2013 at 5:52PM

Not been on for ages - WE HAVE MOVED!!!!

Relative has moved in to sheltered and we are back in our original house.

The old rented house is still in our name until 10/3 so lots of things to still get sorted like new carpets and painting (we don't want to be charged by the estate agents)

Relative still has a stamp collection which needs moving - we have done some but not all. We had a week off to move everything but what with having a new boiler fitted we lost some days. Now we are back at work it is harder to fit it all in.

DH still poorly - his head pain is much better but his mental health is still teetering on the brink of a breakdown.
He has changed his hours at work so he is not giving them so much free time.
We had talked about him quitting work once we have moved but did not make a firm decision - that did not stop him handing in his notice last week - he has to give 2 months!!

Not sure what we will do without his income but he thinks he will get another job - I am not so sure as he just can't cope with any stress. Even minor things send him into a deep depression and I worry about him all the time.

I can't tell him I am worried as then he gets more stressed!!

I am sure it will all work out - it usually does. I still feel in limbo while we have the other house so once that has gone back I can concentrate on this house and getting the finances sorted.

Will also make better use of this diary to chart my progress - i do not want to get to next year and still be in the same position.

Need to also start surveys again but too be honest I don't have much time at the moment but know that I need them for Xmas/Birthday presents.

Piquant_2 · 26 February 2013 at 7:37PM

Hello EE, it's good to see you back. You sound less stressed than before, calmer and more accepting of how OH is. I do hope it works out for you both.

Congratulations on the move, one less stress out of the way! It won't be long until the other house goes now, then you can really plan how to move on.

Piq

beanielou · 26 February 2013 at 8:35PM

Good news on the move

pennywisepoundstupid · 2 March 2013 at 2:09PM

Hi EE, hopefully things wll now start to come together for you and life will become a bit easier, well done on the move.

Take care of yourself and I agree you do sound less stressed.

Eager_Elephant · 4 March 2013 at 7:32AM

Everything is still going well although we are still slightly in limbo land until the old house goes back which is this Saturday.

So this weekend we have spent it clearing the other house still - good job we are only 1 min away - goodness knows how long it would have taken otherwise. In between times we are fitting in runs to the tip which is about 45 -1 hr round trip (once you have sorted everything - you don't want to be told off by the staff:rotfl:)

I just feel so much more relaxed, there is no worrying that I am going to be found out for not living in the house I should have been, I can be myself instead of putting on a front infront of relative.

DH is slightly stressed but that is because the new house is full of boxes and this affects his OCD tendencies.

Was his birthday yesterday and I did feel a bit guilty that we were moving stuff but that's life - we got takeaway curry for tea (birthday person gets to pick tea) but that was a palaver as DH is onion intolerant :eek:

Had to borrow money from DS to pay for it as all the money we have is needed for the old house, we have carpet cleaning today, window cleaning some time this week, gravel delivery this week and fumigation on Friday and I did not want to run out of money.

Relative owes rent for the last month and I was ust going to ask for £225 but then decided that he should pay the full £400 like we have done as the carpet cleaning etc are his responsibility as well. When he moved out he knew he had to pay rent still but when we went to see him he said he had cancelled the standing order as he did not have enough money to pay me and his new rent - well tough - you should not have given your money away :mad:. I am angry because each time we go there he says that he has brought something else - each item is not a lot but added together could have paid the rent to me :mad:. WE are stuck here eating chips and pies each night and beans on toast because we are struggling - DH is going to mention it to him and tell hm we will take it in instalments each week.

Not much happening money wise, just treading water until end of March which is payday and also should get deposit back from house (£1300 less whatever they want to charge us which should not be much as we have one loads)

Eager_Elephant · 16 March 2013 at 3:26PM

So the house went back last Saturday (tenancy end date was Sunday), we have been there today to put down some gravel to make the drive look better and also to collect the trampoline.

That was a nightmare as we can't find the tensioner for the springs so we removed the netting and the legs and then carried the main part to our house - it is not far but half way along the road is open fields and the trampoline nearly took off with us holding it :rotfl:

Just remembered we have not read the water meter so must do this by tomorrow so can then ring water company on Monday to finalise bill.

Also need to ring elec company to finalise bill.

I am a bit worried that we might not get our deposit back - they have £1300 and they will deduct 200 litres of oil (at about 73p per litre plus £17 for the window cleaner who did not come).
We decorated the majority of the house before we left and the guy from the Estate Agents said they had never seen a house left so clean and tidy (we had also had a few carpets/vinyl replaced and everything cleaned) and the landlord also said the same when we saw her this week.
But we have been back to the house today (as mentioned above) and they have people decorating it - I am worried we are going to be charged for it.
I can see the lounge has been painted magnolia when we lived there it was orange and we repainted one wall orange when we left. DH thinks they are having it magnolia because it will be easier to rent as orange is too garish - I hope he is right.

We need the money to buy a new cooker (mine is second hand and only 2 hobs work plus it is not fan and so everything takes hours to cook

) plus pay for our field rental which is due.

My car wouldn't start last weekend and we thought it was the starter motor but the garage collected it on Thurs and fixed it on Fri - just the battery luckily so collected that today - I can pay when I get the invoice which is good as had to borrow off DS just in case they needed paying today.

Need to just hold out til pay day which for DH is a week Monday and mine is the last Friday of the month - once we have that money we will know where we are.
I have been doing some extra work at work so should see a bit more money this month and possibly a new contract from April so I would be full time - it has come just at the right time as DH job finishes 16th April.
He will also get paid in April and has 3 weeks holiday to be paid - we are hoping to use his holiday pay to pay for his bankruptcy and get that over and done with.

I need to sort a budget for this house and hopefully will be able to pay my debts down quickly and then we can start saving to buy this house - should be able to get it for about £65,000 which is a great price for a 3 bed semi.

I know I am thinking ahead but I need to have something to aim for.

Our current house needs work so we need to buy wardrobes for DS and us and carpet a few more rooms - we are managing with bare boards and old laminate - it is cold but not too bad.

I have switched my account to a 123 so hope to get back quite a bit from the cashback on bills.
Just getting everything moved across to that account so we can benefit from it - so from April I hope we will get about £6-£10 per month cashback (less £2 fee)

Eager Elephant's Effective Everyday Excursion ...

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