We are about to pull the purse strings soooo tight!

grannyx2 wrote: »

Oh honey, I feel your pain (((Alice))) Being in financial difficulty is hard for anyone, doing so mostly alone is triple hard Have you thought about Relate counselling? He may not hurt you physically but mental cruelty can often be worse as it makes you doubt your own self worth. I worry that you don't have anyone to talk to about this in RL as everyone needs someone

Do you have family you could talk to or the closest of those 3 friends?

Just know that we are here to support you and although maybe we can't do anything, just knowing you have your 'friends in the box' will make it slightly easier to deal with

Granny x

Thanks your post Granny, I don't have anybody in RL, only OH really. In fact you guys on here feel more like my real friends even though I wouldn't know if I bumped into you in the street. I've tried to get OH to go to relate but he won't.

In RL folk think we've got this perfect little life, I suppose that's because I'm always careful not to let my guard down and always keep things close to my chest. I've just got to keep plodding, I'm not sure what the answer is bug hopefully we'll get there. Xx

debtfreewannabe321 wrote: »

Oh Alice I've been where you are too many times to count and I think sometimes we are too strong and hold it together for too long for our own good. Do you have a good friend to off load on? Sometimes it's all we need is a good rant, a cry and off we go again. If that doesn't help perhaps as Granny says think about counselling?

Does your OH have a budget for pocket money? When we started out on our DMP we didn't put a lot aside for ourselves but as time went on we realised we needed that small amount for ourselves. Especially my DH, he would rather look at what he has in his pocket right now rather than go without (like I would rather) to get to a goal in the long term. I hope you are feeling better when you get back home (((hugs)))

Thanks DFD, I don't have anybody I could talk too, the thing us if I did I'm not sure I could talk to them, it all feels like I've failed.

OH doesn't bother if he's got money in his pocket or not, he really doesn't. As long as he has money when he goes out with his mates for a couple pints (which isn't that often to be fair) he's generally not bothered. He has had the occasional flip like when we couldn't go on holiday with our friends (whom we don't see any more anyway:o).

Tonight he came home as if nothing had happened. All sweetness and light. I really want to ask him what he wants to do but don't want to upset the apple cart. We'll probably just go back to 'normal'.:(

On the money side of things yesterday I paid childminder, got 'bottle' for relative, got petrol, also spent £8 on bits from supermarket.

Xx

grannyx2 wrote: »

Hugs honey, I know only too well how lonely this situation can feel. All I can really say is do or say what feels right at the time, after all that's what OH does

We're here for you whenever you need it and you could go to relate on your own to work through your feelings

This debt fight is hard for even the strongest of people and even more so when done pretty much alone

Hope you get a good night's sleep

Granny x

Thanks Granny, I did actually have a good nights sleep to be honest, which is ironic as I'm not usually a very good sleeper.

OH has been golden today (makes him sound like puppy!). We went shopping and took DS3 to a party, played happy families.

I had to get some toiletries and a colour for my hair. OH suggested that perhaps we could save some money and I could gave it done at the hairdressers, talk about mind games.

Xx

Eager_Elephant wrote: »

Oh Alice (((( ))))

I know exactly what you are going through. I know you read my diary so you have also seen my ups and downs and know that my DH has had 'emotional' affairs too.

I also have no one else to talk to except you lot on here (my best friend is sick of hearing about it).

I am not sure where you live but if you are in East Anglia I am happy to meet up for a chat/!!!!!/moan or happy to chat by phone.

We have done Relate counselling - it was interesting but not what I expected at all. Not sure if it was worth the money too be honest.

Yeah I've read your ups and downs.....don't know how you (and some other folk on here) cope with it all.

Unfortunately I'm not local to you, which is a shame but I will certainly bear in mind a phone call/text. Thank you.

Xx

mummytogirls wrote: »

Oh Alice so sorry to read of all thats been going on. I really have no advice to offer, just we are here for you if you need to rant... rant away. Bloody men mines got his head well and truely up his @rse today!!! xx

Hi mummy, hope your OH sorted himself out and didn't spoil your day.

Xx

It's been a really strange day. Considering 48hours ago I could of chucked OH out and was contemplating a life of just me and the kids, today we just carried on as 'normal'. Kid sports clubs cancelled so we went into town, got toiletries £18 :eek:, got 2 birthday presents £26, and spent £48 in the supermarket. Got extra cash for DS2 sports club subs (not enough money in leisure pot as have to pay DS3s swimming). Also need to pay deposit for school trip.

Not sure what the future holds, I suspect we'll just plod on. But you know it pushes me even harder to get this debt paid off......not that I'm using the debt as an excuse for me and OH going through a rough patch.:o Thank you for all your support and advise.:o:)

Tomorrow hoping I can peg out.....that always puts a smile on my face.:rotfl: Need to update spending diary/budget, sort pots out and do meal plan.....amongst other things.

Hope everybody gets a bit of sunshine tomorrow.xx