Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@. Skimlinks & other affiliated links are turned on

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • MSE Sarah
    • By MSE Sarah 8th Oct 19, 5:01 PM
    • 213Posts
    • 94Thanks
    MSE Sarah
    0 WOW
    Money Moral Dilemma: Should we split our holiday refund?
    • #1
    • 8th Oct 19, 5:01 PM
    0 WOW
    Money Moral Dilemma: Should we split our holiday refund? 8th Oct 19 at 5:01 PM
    This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

    I booked a holiday for myself and a friend, and we split the cost equally. The accommodation wasn't the best, and my friend felt he'd had such a bad experience with dirt, insects and mould that he wrote to complain, explicitly saying the complaint was just from him. The company responded to us both, as I booked the holiday, and refunded 20% of the cost to my credit card. My friend says he should get the full refund as it was his complaint - should we split it?

    Unfortunately the MSE team can't always answer money moral dilemma questions as contributions are often emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be enjoyed as a point of debate and discussed at face value.

    If you havenít already, join the forum to reply!

    Got a Money Moral Dilemma of your own? Suggest an MMD.

    This Forum tip was included in MoneySavingExpert.com's weekly email!

    Follow MSE on other Social Media:
    MSE Facebook, MSE Twitter, MSE Deals Facebook, MSE Deals Twitter, Forum Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest
    Join the MSE Forum
    Get the Free MoneySavingExpert Money Tips E-mail
    Report inappropriate posts: click the report button
    Point out a rate/product change
    Flag a news story: news@moneysavingexpert.com
Page 2
    • drjonabmw
    • By drjonabmw 9th Oct 19, 12:06 PM
    • 4 Posts
    • 3 Thanks
    drjonabmw
    You did the work booking the holiday, I assume. Did the friend pay anything to you for that work or did they just sit back.
    Give them their portion of the refund verbally but tell them you are deduction the same value for the work involved doing all of the planning and booking. No need for any money to change hands.
    You did your work at the start, they did their work at the end of the holiday. In every group holiday, there is always at least one person who is happy to "go along with what you book". For that, read "you do the work because I do not want to".
    ...... and as others have said, find a new friend with similar beliefs to you.
    • Husbandofstinky
    • By Husbandofstinky 9th Oct 19, 12:53 PM
    • 2 Posts
    • 0 Thanks
    Husbandofstinky
    Refund split
    If it were me, I would ping the dilemma back to your friend and let him decide.

    You obviously have your own thoughts on this matter and whatever he decides will either positively or negatively reflect on your relationship (however deep that is).

    The dilemma might be worth its weight in gold either way on that front imo.

    If I was that 'friend' I would instantly offer half of it back or alternatively suggest putting it towards another joint event (break, holiday, meal etc). That would all depend on knowing the OP if they could do with the money or not. If they did I would offer the full amount back again without question.
    • RS2OOO
    • By RS2OOO 9th Oct 19, 2:18 PM
    • 62 Posts
    • 30 Thanks
    RS2OOO
    I assume the refund is 20% of the total paid for both of you, i.e your friend believes he should be entitled to the full value of the refund thus giving him a 40% refund on the total he paid.

    I do not know any friend that wouldn't naturally suggest that be split between you both, thus 20% refund each.

    Except if I'd previously told my friend I was happy with the price paid, service received and that I had nothing to complain about and in my opinion a refund wasn't warranted. In that case I'd offer the friend the full value of the refund, only accepting a portion if the friend insisted.

    If you were both unhappy with the service and you supported your friend in making the complaint, and you didn't complain yourself simply because your friend was already doing so, then morally the money should be split. If this is the case but your friend doesn't want to split it, give him the full refund and get a new friend.
    • Kiama
    • By Kiama 9th Oct 19, 6:42 PM
    • 18 Posts
    • 11 Thanks
    Kiama
    Give him half the refund, then tell him that the rest was swallowed up in admin fees for your time that you put in to book and pay for the holiday upfront! Get a new friend!
    • crmism
    • By crmism 9th Oct 19, 7:56 PM
    • 177 Posts
    • 93 Thanks
    crmism
    Holiday
    It isn't clear whether you had your own rooms or shared one but, if it was the former and your own room was as you might expect and therefore gave no cause for complaint, then your friend should have the full refund.

    If the latter, then you need to split the money equally between you on the basis that you made the bookings, and your friend made the claim. I'd say that's evens.
    • ziggycj
    • By ziggycj 9th Oct 19, 8:37 PM
    • 274 Posts
    • 429 Thanks
    ziggycj
    Ask the company. Was the refund for him or for both of you? If it was for him only, give him the 20% then make your own complaint. I'm guessing the refund was probably 10% per person. If the refund was for both of you then he has blocked your ability to complain yourself so needs to split it.
    • Farnbo
    • By Farnbo 10th Oct 19, 11:58 AM
    • 4 Posts
    • 1 Thanks
    Farnbo
    It depends why the friend complained on his own behalf.
    Would you want someone as a friend who explicitly complained on his own behalf about something both people experienced?
    Personally, I wouldn't just 'walk away' from that 'so called friend'.
    I'd run for the hills.
    Because to complain explicitly from him obviously means money means more to him than a friendship.
    And...the OP has the 20%.
    Love it!
    Originally posted by Pollycat

    It depends why the friend complained on his own behalf. If the two of them discussed it and the other person did not want to complain, then it would be wrong to implicate him/her in the complaint. If that is the case, then the person who made the complaint is entitled to the compensation. The other person cannot have it both ways. If the complainent just decided to go it alone without giving their friend the chance to join in, then it is a differnt story.
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 10th Oct 19, 1:06 PM
    • 23,856 Posts
    • 64,227 Thanks
    Pollycat
    It depends why the friend complained on his own behalf. If the two of them discussed it and the other person did not want to complain, then it would be wrong to implicate him/her in the complaint. If that is the case, then the person who made the complaint is entitled to the compensation. The other person cannot have it both ways. If the complainent just decided to go it alone without giving their friend the chance to join in, then it is a differnt story.
    Originally posted by Farnbo
    And we'll never know the answers to those questions...because that's how MSE dilemmas work.

    If you take my comment in context, you'll see it was in direct response to another poster who said they

    wouldn't want someone i classed as a friend to do that to me and I would just walk away from that so called friend as obviously money means more than a friendship.
    Originally posted by Ally3558
    Nobody knows any more than the couple of sentences originally posted.
    • Farnbo
    • By Farnbo 10th Oct 19, 2:04 PM
    • 4 Posts
    • 1 Thanks
    Farnbo
    And we'll never know the answers to those questions...because that's how MSE dilemmas work.

    If you take my comment in context, you'll see it was in direct response to another poster who said they


    Nobody knows any more than the couple of sentences originally posted.
    Originally posted by Pollycat

    I wasn't picking an argument - I was just adding to the discussion.
    Thanks for explaining how these things work though!
    • Nick_C
    • By Nick_C 10th Oct 19, 7:01 PM
    • 5,610 Posts
    • 9,213 Thanks
    Nick_C
    These "dilemmas" get more and more stupid each week.
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 10th Oct 19, 8:09 PM
    • 23,856 Posts
    • 64,227 Thanks
    Pollycat
    I wasn't picking an argument - I was just adding to the discussion.
    Thanks for explaining how these things work though!
    Originally posted by Farnbo
    I think the post below explains how MSE MMD work better than I could...
    These "dilemmas" get more and more stupid each week.
    Originally posted by Nick_C
    • onlineo
    • By onlineo 10th Oct 19, 9:26 PM
    • 46 Posts
    • 15 Thanks
    onlineo
    No. If they are only offering a paltry 20% refund then you say no to the company and ask for a full refund, or a free 2nd stay in an upgraded room. If you are prepared to accept 20% off then really it is not worth the complaint in the first time.

    To answer your actual question. I think sharing that refund is probably best idea, unless you have explicitly said no do not complain on my behalf or something similar. In which case you only have yourself to blame.
    • Crystal17
    • By Crystal17 13th Oct 19, 8:36 AM
    • 2 Posts
    • 0 Thanks
    Crystal17
    Friendships and money
    "The company responded to us both, as I booked the holiday, and refunded 20% of the cost to my credit card"

    As the company responded to you both,did they ask if you were complaining too?
    You dealt with the effort of getting the 20% successfully refunded onto your own card, so you each contributed to the complaint.

    A decent friendship is not something to just walk away from.
    I'd use a "I've decided to split the compensation with you as I value our friendship" type of response.
    Avoid a wishy-washy approach or passively asking,
    simply tell/state your intentions.
    • duchy
    • By duchy 13th Oct 19, 12:12 PM
    • 18,414 Posts
    • 46,890 Thanks
    duchy
    Oh dear another made up scenario written by someone at MSE Towers with little life experience .
    As the lead passenger the holiday company can only reply to the fictional OP and only refund to them. Just as if the "friend" hadn't paid liability for the holiday cost would fall to the lead passenger. The contract is between the tour operator and the lead passenger only, whoever else is on the booking is irrelevant.
    So legally the refund is the lead passengers .
    Morally if 20% of the whole holiday cost was refunded then friend is entitled to half , the OP morally can keep their half, donate to charity or return it to the holiday company if they feel it was an unjustified complaint.
    I do struggle at the definition of friend in most of these though !
    I Would Rather Climb A Mountain Than Crawl Into A Hole

    MSE Florida wedding .....no problem
    • JayD
    • By JayD 14th Oct 19, 3:36 PM
    • 550 Posts
    • 339 Thanks
    JayD
    Are you sure this is a 'friend'?? I can't imagine anyone who'd shared a holiday with you being peevish about sharing the refund unless, when they said they would complain, you argued against it or expressed total disinterest in that course of action.


    Well, you have all of the refund at the moment, so you can decide whether to share it or return all of it to this 'friend' but either way, I should imagine it isn't much of a friendship any more!
    • Money Saving Forever
    • By Money Saving Forever 16th Oct 19, 4:23 PM
    • 32 Posts
    • 8 Thanks
    Money Saving Forever
    Depending on the amount, split it and treat them to something, drink/meal, etc. You were, after all, nonchalant about it and it was their initiative that got you both a refund. My closest experience of this was something similar, but the other person could not be bothered to complain and probably thought nothing would come of it. We had to pay separately and guess what... I got the refund! They were minutely jealous, but still did not bother to complain, (complaint had to be made individually btw). Also learn from this and next time your refund maybe bigger, i.e. give your two pence worth on the list of complaints!
    • Money Saving Forever
    • By Money Saving Forever 16th Oct 19, 4:34 PM
    • 32 Posts
    • 8 Thanks
    Money Saving Forever
    Oh dear another made up scenario written by someone at MSE Towers with little life experience .
    As the lead passenger the holiday company can only reply to the fictional OP and only refund to them. Just as if the "friend" hadn't paid liability for the holiday cost would fall to the lead passenger. The contract is between the tour operator and the lead passenger only, whoever else is on the booking is irrelevant.
    So legally the refund is the lead passengers .
    Morally if 20% of the whole holiday cost was refunded then friend is entitled to half , the OP morally can keep their half, donate to charity or return it to the holiday company if they feel it was an unjustified complaint.
    I do struggle at the definition of friend in most of these though !
    Originally posted by duchy

    Sorry, but would there not be some sort of verbal contract between these fictional friends when they decided/agreed and booked the holiday? If the lead passenger booked/paid and didn't get reimbursed by the friend then it would be a straight forward money claim
    • POPPYOSCAR
    • By POPPYOSCAR 16th Oct 19, 4:44 PM
    • 12,996 Posts
    • 29,027 Thanks
    POPPYOSCAR
    These "dilemmas" get more and more stupid each week.
    Originally posted by Nick_C
    And more and more unbelievable.
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

133Posts Today

1,482Users online

Martin's Twitter