How much financial support do you give your parents ?
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I've always expected to have to financially assist my parents-in-law in their retirement and have not had an issue with that. However they've always worked hard, been careful with their money and will be claiming what they're entitled to claim. There's no-way I'd be happy giving them a few hundred a month when they were refusing to claim money or benefits they were due. Why should money that my children need go to pay council tax that wouldn't need paying if they filled in a form?
Lots of people on this thread are very supportive of families but their advice is specific to the OP's scenario.
You're right. The poster who described his multi generational set up seemed to miss that.
Not sure why you expect to support your in laws. It sounds like they've been responsible and made provision although perhaps I misunderstood.
My DD had a problem with her FIL. He was self employed and went away for New Year every year and then they discovered come the end of the month that he hadn't put away anything for tax.:mad: They just helped out by paying him for odd jobs around their home. Fortunately he got his act together eventually and he was young enough to earn.0 -
The normal response if you have insufficient money is to get a job,Moir which you will receive a wage. Why is this not an option?We hear a lot about parents helping out children financially but what of adults who have to help out aging parents.
I am really having mixed emotions at the moment. My Step mum and dad have announced they have no pension provision which has come as a total bolt from the blue. For years it seems they have lived for the moment and enjoyed life and have never put money aside preferring holidays, cars etc but now in mid seventies the chickens are coming home to roost. They own a house outright but cannot afford to run it and its also not worth much so even selling the money would run out. Please do not suggest benefits as they are proud people and wont accept them.
I am able to help out financially but it will put my own savings / retirement plans in jeopardy and I have a sister who is estranged so wont help. I feel the burden is left to me I feel very torn, on the one hand to be put in this position and on the other very guilty for feeling this.
Anyone else negotiating this situation.[purplesignup][/purplesignup]
And to answer the question, I give my parents no financial support as they don’t need any. Despite always earning only pretty modest wages they were sensible, paid down the mortgage, saved enough for emergencies and contributed what they could to their pensions, so they still save despite being long retired, as everything they need comes out at less than they earn.
I do get them first class train tickets when they visit, and very nice presents, but no money.0 -
My parents would be amused by this. My dad kicked my backside riding up the Tourmalet last year, well into his seventies, my mother still attends her aerobics classes, and they are both very active in their community, living in their own home, and being completely independent.pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »Other than the fact they are poor and have no way out of the situation
There's no evidence to support they are not vulnerable0 -
I wouldn't wish to be held accountable for my parents poor decisions to the point it caused serious harm to my own life. Would you feel the same if you saw your parents living a luxurious lifestyle on your money, while you struggled to get by while they gave nothing in return?
Your situation is completely different to that of the OP. It wasn't like their parents even had any bad luck.
Luckily my parents aren't idiots and have made the appropriate financial plans for their retirement.
Unfortunately my mum thought she was making appropriate financial planning for her retirement whilst married to my father only to find, very late in life, that it was based on myths.
Yes she tried to compensate for that but again, because she believed that she was doing the right thing in contributing to a pension, finds herself, ever so slightly on the wrong side of the benefit fence so can't claim anything.
So if I can treat her I will but unfortunately have to do it on the sly as she's a proud woman.0 -
John_G_Jones wrote: »My parents would be amused by this. My dad kicked my backside riding up the Tourmalet last year, well into his seventies, my mother still attends her aerobics classes, and they are both very active in their community, living in their own home, and being completely independent.
That proves they (your parents) are not physically vulnerable, John - and that's fab - really pleased to hear that
Vulnerability is not inclusive to being physical...and not everyone is vulnerable in any way, at any age
I was chatting about things like - Vulnerable to having utilities cut off, vulnerable to being homeless - that kind of thing - financial vulnerability
Anyway that's just my pov, and I think it has been done to death already hahahaWith love, POSR
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It depends on the situation0
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heartbreak_star wrote: »Not everyone's situation has the possibility of being this perfect. If I had to live with my mother again, my mental health would be destroyed...
HBS x
Good to hear I am not the only one, lots of people quite happy to make me feel very guilty for not having Mother move in.. or at least round the corner0
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