Stupid, stupid idiot.

First of all make sure he doesnt have access to this credit card anymore.

Then maybe a few stern words with him are needed. Tell him that you have been more than reasonable with him in the past and that you dont care how he gets the money (not by your daughter though) but that you are owed the money.

I know you wont like this but maybe a threat of going to the CSA to regain payments for maintenance are in order?

Tell him you dont want to do this but that he is taking the p*** out of you (as thats what hes doing) and so you have to do something to get the money you are owed.

It s sounds to me that you may have been a bit stupid but mainly you are a soft touch and he knows this and may think that eventually you ll give up chasing him.

Have some stern words to tell him how angry you are.

eek! Repeat post. Don't know how that happened. Sorry.

Kimberley wrote:

What an example you show to other parents who cannot get on with each other after a split and who fight in front of the kids or use them to hurt each other. You have shown to your girls how kind and generous you have been towards their father, even though it was a risk you took, i hope he can show you the same kindness as you did with him and gives you the money back when he can.

In sentiment i agree, but in this case i thing this guy is taking the mick, he needs to be set straight, hes already sponged off one of her kids so i dont think that sending the message to her children that its ok to lend this guy money is the right one

Im hoping she does get her money back but shes going to have to start being firm with him, and needs to explain to her daughters the situation, so that when she takes her stance her kids understand the reasons behind it

Ceegee,

I know it's a little different, but I was owed £450 by a lad at work, who just had to have designer clothing from my catalogue.

I kept asking and asking month by month for it. He would give me a £5 or £3 here and there. I was sick with worry. Then I told my boyfrind(at the time) and he simply said, tell him I have paid for it, and now he owes me the money!

So the next day at work, this lad said to me. I will try and give you £10 this week for them clothes. I turned to him and said, "Oh, it's ok. XXXX has paid it off now, but he has said he will give you 4 weeks to pay him back"...............

Fast forward 25 days.................................£450 promptly paid in cash, with loads of apologies to pass to said boyfriend.

What I am trying to get accross is, do you not have a brother, uncle, cousin, dad. Who you can tell ex husband, that they have now paid it for you. So now he owes them.

Men hate to feel belittled in front of other men. And i am almost positive something will be done soon.

It's something to do with being MACHO....or not as the case may well be!

Sorry I have gone on, but hope it helps you?

Love and ((((((HUGS)))))
pot
x

The trouble is, he is the type of person who can manage to make me think that it is all my fault. He has already told me that I am ungrateful as he is working hard to repay the money and I don't know how to counter this. I think I'm frightened of him TBH, because I know he can convince me that black is white. It has always been that way.

He can only do this if you let him. You can't be responsible for things that happen TO you, but you CAN control your reaction to them! Honest, there's a lot of us been there!

You are a very lovely generous person, and hopefully your girls will carry on your genes. The next time anyone tries to persuade you that black is white, then just picture all your mates on this website standing behind you and backing you up........