Staving off a potential family dispute

So you were gifted £95k.

do your parents pay rent to you? Who pays for repairs etc?

Assuming they don't pay rent I would agree to taking the £95k, less a calculated rent value (over the length your parents reside in the property since your ownership), then split that by 50%, but only payable once your parents are no longer in the property.

It sounds like she wants her "cut" of your inheritance, although you have had it, you are tied in until they are no longer living at the property as you can't access it.

OP, what a tricky position.

It doesn't sound as if sister has any legal challenge to the situation. The house was never hers and she never unfairly lost any right to occupy it. If you put the situation back to what it was when you took over, everyone might have been homeless if you hadn't.

Your dad sounds either confused and/or rather selfish, trying to get himself out of a bind with daughter by making it your problem. It seems like he still views this as a family asset which he still owns/controls and all the legal stuff about putting it in your name was just necessary 'paperwork' to sort the mortgage out and he can ignore all that. It could well be that he has encouraged sister in that view but now she's 'seen the light' and realizes you do actually legally and fully own it, she's furious.

I know you want family harmony and peace and maybe feel you got a bit more than your rightful share but to be honest what you took on plus your inherent commitment to house and care indefinitely for parents, who can't do this for themselves, is very significant.

I think I'd want to put the onus on dad to understand and explain to sister the reality. Perhaps you could do something so that dad could build a smaller pot to eventually leave to daughter - perhaps you could refund a portion of what he's paid on bills or some of the original gifted when you remortgage or perhaps take less off him towards expenses going forward so he can save something up. I think it needs to remain something for dad to put right with daughter and if you want to help him in some way, fair enough. I don't think it should be you giving a huge chunk straight to her.

PS Make sure everyone has wills made

flammable999 wrote: »

Agreed. Not that I would ever stick him or either of them in a home but any kind of care costs money. I understand he wants to now look out for his daughter but I am hurt its at the detriment to his other child especially with me ensuring the house stays with us, all of us for the last ten years.

I am also hurt that my sister has brought this issue up now of all times. Even if it was six months down the line would have been better. My wife is pregnant and is now beside herself with worry. Am trying to tell her not to worry but its easier said than done. Even if sis has no legal rights, its still a potentially rubbish atmoshphere. I would like to think there are similar things happening in other households because I feel rather embarassed about it all

In your position, I wouldn't feel hurt. You have after all been given £95k by your father, while your sister has been given nothing.

While I take your point that by paying the mortgage you have retained the house for your family to live in, as this resulted in you owning the house with a large gifted deposit, it's not a purely altruistic act on your part.

You could, for example, have given your father the money to pay his mortgage and he kept ownership of the house if your only motive was to help him.

I'm not saying you should have done this, just that you shouldn't get too caught up in the idea of your own selflessness, when you have clearly benefited from the arrangement.

In legal terms, you need give your sister nothing, but if you want to stave of a family feud, it may be helpful to see this from the perspective of the others involved.

Your father has given you £95k and your sister nothing. He now regrets that. Your sister has belatedly realised you've had something she hasn't. Neither are happy. You are well within your rights to say 'tough', and they stay unhappy.

However, if you want to make them happy you could make arrangements to pay your sister something.

What will not help is to try to convince them you have the moral high ground because of your help to your father, when in fact the arrangement clearly benefited you.

Mojisola wrote: »

And also benefited the parents who have had ten years of rent-free living so far.

They have paid £95k for the privilege.

However, I would agree the arrangement between OP and his father was of mutual benefit.