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    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 29th Dec 18, 7:41 AM
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    lessonlearned
    Frump to Fab 2019 - Here We Go Again
    • #1
    • 29th Dec 18, 7:41 AM
    Frump to Fab 2019 - Here We Go Again 29th Dec 18 at 7:41 AM
    Good Morning Lovely Ladies (And Gents - if are are reading along).

    Are you ready to start the New Year with a sparkle in your eye and a spring in your footsteps or are you feeling a little jaded, a little worse for wear, a tad sad and neglected.

    Do you feel invisible. Does the face that stares back at you from the mirror seem like a stranger to you.

    Just who is that tired old lady looking back out at you.

    In short, have you become a Frump!!!

    Well fret ye not, salvation is at hand.

    Join our merry gang and make this the year you transform yourself.

    Ditch the Frump and become the Fabulous Woman you know you can be.

    And have some fun along the way.

    The Story So Far.......

    I have been looking back and I was astonished to discover that the First Frump to Fab thread began in 2011. Wow.

    Tempus Fugit and all that.

    Am I fabulous yet. Almost.

    How did it all begin.

    Well one day my son took a photo of me in an unguarded moment. I took one look and burst into tears. Who was that old hag, that strange woman who looked like a bag lady. That couldn't be me. So I ran upstairs and took a good hard look in a full length mirror.

    Yes, dear reader, it was me.

    I stopped snivelling and faced the truth. I was a mess. I resolved then and there to do something about it. I didn't know what that something was because at the time I was caring for my terminally ill husband and staring bankruptcy in the face.

    I was exhausted, I looked terrible and if I'm honest, I felt desperate. I didn't know what I was going to do, or where to begin so I started the first Frump to Fab thread as a diary to spur me on and keep me motivated.

    And the rest is history.

    My life is truly unrecognisable from that day. And I am not the same woman.

    I look better, feel better, my finances are better. I AM better.

    Not quite Goddess standard yet but getting there and working towards being fabulous and having a fabulous life.

    So......if you want to "Change Your Stars" then join our merry gang.

    Let's make 2019 the best one yet.

    And......more Importantly, let's have some fun along the way.

    One Golden Rule Please.

    Be kind to one another.

    Please do not be harsh or judgemental to others. None of us is perfect. It doesn't matter how we became Frumps what matters is how we are going to reclaim our looks, our energy, our joire de vie.

    The past is the past and why we became Frumps is no longer relevant. It doesn't matter how we got here, what matters is how we move forward.

    We are all here because we want to make things better. We want to look attractive, some of us might want to improve our health and fitness. All of us on here aspire to being the best we can be. So let's support each other.

    For the Newbies, the Lurkers and as a refresher course for our regular members ......

    I have posted the new thread earlier this year to give us some time to reflect and decide exactly what we want to achieve next year. Time to set goals, time for some strategic planning.

    Over the next few days, in true MSE fashion, myself and our regulars will be talking about some simple easy and FREE steps you can make as you prepare to start as your journey to Fabdom.

    So Welcome Everyone.

    Let's get this show on the road.....

    Let's Rock!!!!

    This Forum tip was included in MoneySavingExpert.com's weekly email!
    If you haven’t already, join the forum to reply.
    Last edited by MSE Tine; 03-04-2019 at 11:33 AM.
Page 82
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 19th May 19, 2:40 PM
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    lessonlearned
    Just taking a breather...rushed like mad to get the garden work done before it rains....not sure if it's going to now. It might have blown over. I've got a load of washing on the line so I am watching the clouds. Lol.

    Need to have some lunch in a minute.....running a bit late because I was so busy with the garden. So dinner will now be supper.... well I'm nothing if not flexible. Ha ha.

    Had a message from a nice guy but he was in Weston Supermare.......nah. I'm holding out for a (local) hero. . He seemed rather disappointed when I let him down gently.

    My hands are a disgrace. I've clipped my nails short because the rough work has left them jagged and flaking. So a nice manicure and some TLC tonight.

    Btw. I have started using a retinol serum. Just twice a week to start, face is a bit pink sometimes but so far no real soreness or flaking like I have had in the past when I've used retinol. Fingers crossed. Retinol really is the holy grail at fighting the wrinkles and improving the texture of the skin, so I'm hoping this one will be ok. I am going to take it very slowly.

    Wednesday.....how sweet of your little dogs. They just know don't they. Pets can be such a comfort when they cuddle up. I really miss the cat......maybe I'll get another one someday.

    Forget the Johns......just become a crazy cat lady.
    • silvasava
    • By silvasava 19th May 19, 5:21 PM
    • 4,212 Posts
    • 67,019 Thanks
    silvasava
    Had my little pamper session this morning. Defuzz and a nice bath. Used a glycolic acid wipe & then my new mask from Aldi - seems good with a tiny soft brush to apply it with, rinsed it off and used some hyularonic acid serum and then the caviar creme. Did a good go with some intensive moisturiser on my feet, knees and elbows and my usual moisturiser on the test of me. Hair washed and blow dried & I feel up to speed although my nails are still recovering from the gardening.
    My son has two cats - a black one with white markings and a white one with black markings. A friend of his made a calendar with various photos of them & he was absolutely delighted and loves it. I think any of us appreciate even a very small thing that has been made especially for us.
    Humpty - my knitting isn't great but I can crochet. Ive done any number of baby shawls by crocheting trebles and starting from a corner and increasing at the end of each row until I feel it's big enough and then start decreasing the same way. Its simple to do while watching TV and makes a nice design. Ive gone round the edges with a scallop stitch or a fringe to finish.
    Small victories - sometimes they are all you can hope for but sometimes they are all you need - be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 20th May 19, 7:24 AM
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    lessonlearned
    Good morning lovely ladies......,

    And another week begins. A new Monday, a new week, a new start. I love the start of a new week, so many possibilities.

    Speaking of possibilities I have made an executive decision. I have joined a local meet-up group. Part of my master plan to get out there and start having fun.

    I have signed up to a dance event for solos on Friday night ...... an 80's night.....I just love cheesy 80's music......Wham, Bowie in his dance phase, the New Romantics, and the gloriously beautiful Aha. What's not to like.

    Is this appropriate for a clapped out geriatric granny. When I think of my grandparents at the same age....... how times have changed.

    Like Maman I just love dancing. If it goes well and my knee holds out I shall make dancing a more regular feature. After all it's great exercise. And then on Saturday a yoga Workshop.

    Hopefully Lots of nice things/events in the pipeline. Then I'm going to look at U3A and see what courses I fancy over the winter.

    4 consecutive days of granny duty this week, but only Half days this time so hopefully not quite as tiring. Then hopefully I'm done for a while. I adore my grandchild but I do not want to be a childminder all the time. Whilst I'm happy to be on the reserve bench I do not want to be a full time player.

    Weighed myself this morning. I now have exactly 1 stone to go to reach my goal. Then I'll see what I think, but at 5ft 7 and pushing 68 I think 10st 7lb and size 12/14 will be about right. I don't want my face to look too drawn. I just hope that will be enough to reverse my diabetes.

    Right time to great cracking.

    Have a great week.
    Last edited by lessonlearned; Yesterday at 7:41 AM.
    • humptydumptybits
    • By humptydumptybits 20th May 19, 7:47 AM
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    humptydumptybits
    I know people who have done meetup and in their group there have been two weddings, another one on the way and lots of really strong friendships. It seems a nice way to meet people.


    I've had a disinfect everything morning, door knobs, light switches, bathrooms etc. After a weekend with the sick GC I want to make sure I don't pick anything up so hopefully I've killed everything and anything off. They went home last night and hopefully they are at school now.



    It is a lovely morning here, I'm hoping once DH gets going that we might go out and enjoy it but we will see how he is. We have to give his painkillers a while to kick in.
    • Dorothy60
    • By Dorothy60 20th May 19, 10:20 AM
    • 67 Posts
    • 328 Thanks
    Dorothy60
    Good morning lovely ladies......,

    And another week begins. A new Monday, a new week, a new start. I love the start of a new week, so many possibilities.

    Speaking of possibilities I have made an executive decision. I have joined a local meet-up group. Part of my master plan to get out there and start having fun.

    I have signed up to a dance event for solos on Friday night ...... an 80's night.....I just love cheesy 80's music......Wham, Bowie in his dance phase, the New Romantics, and the gloriously beautiful Aha. What's not to like.

    Is this appropriate for a clapped out geriatric granny. When I think of my grandparents at the same age....... how times have changed.

    Like Maman I just love dancing. If it goes well and my knee holds out I shall make dancing a more regular feature. After all it's great exercise. And then on Saturday a yoga Workshop.

    Hopefully Lots of nice things/events in the pipeline. Then I'm going to look at U3A and see what courses I fancy over the winter.

    4 consecutive days of granny duty this week, but only Half days this time so hopefully not quite as tiring. Then hopefully I'm done for a while. I adore my grandchild but I do not want to be a childminder all the time. Whilst I'm happy to be on the reserve bench I do not want to be a full time player.

    Weighed myself this morning. I now have exactly 1 stone to go to reach my goal. Then I'll see what I think, but at 5ft 7 and pushing 68 I think 10st 7lb and size 12/14 will be about right. I don't want my face to look too drawn. I just hope that will be enough to reverse my diabetes.

    Right time to great cracking.

    Have a great week.
    Originally posted by lessonlearned

    Wow, LL, you really are going for it - brilliant! It's all very well this internet milarky, but you can't beat meeting someone - male or female - face to face in real life.


    Granny duty IS wonderful, no doubt about it, but you want it to be special time, a pleasure for both (or all in my case) of you, not a chore, so I am pleased to hear that you can scale it down now.


    Well if I was 5 foot 7 I would feel wonderful at 10 st 7 - that's only 2lb more than I am now and I look pretty good, and you have 3 inches on me - so sounds a very worthwhile goal.


    Can't wait to hear about the 80s night - are you going in costume? A cheeky ra ra skirt perhaps lol?
    • FrankieM
    • By FrankieM 20th May 19, 10:26 AM
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    FrankieM
    I'm back

    A lovely 2 weeks spent in the glorious sun (it's autumn in Australia at the moment but we had regular days of 20 + degrees)

    Time spent with my mum and dad, time spent catching up with friends and time to recharge, rethink, plan and regroup.

    I love my yearly 2 weeks over there, it's really good for my soul.

    So, I've come back with lots of plans, and a re-prioritising of things in my life.

    I've been off today to get all the chores/jobs done before I start back at work tomorrow and to try to get my body clock back to normal (or have a nap!)
    • maman
    • By maman 20th May 19, 10:36 AM
    • 19,773 Posts
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    maman
    Weighed myself this morning. I now have exactly 1 stone to go to reach my goal. Then I'll see what I think, but at 5ft 7 and pushing 68 I think 10st 7lb and size 12/14 will be about right. I don't want my face to look too drawn.
    Originally posted by lessonlearned

    That's exactly my target weight!! I'm a couple of inches taller though so I chose to be a decent ( as in not scrimped on fabric etc) size 12. I tend to hover between that and 10st 10 but I think most people do fluctuate for one reason or another. Below my target and I'm conscious of skinny arms and thighs.


    Great plans for socialising LL. Do you remember welshwoofer that use to post? I'm sure she belonged to one of those Meetup groups. Many of my friends are in U3A but not in my immediate area. I need to look up the programme for the local ones.


    I have a meeting to attend tonight (and two more tomorrow). I want to look smart but not too formal. Black's looking OK on me at the moment as my hair is very light. I'll probably wear skinny jeans and a tee shirt like Steve Jobs.


    Back soon.
    • silvasava
    • By silvasava 20th May 19, 11:29 AM
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    • 67,019 Thanks
    silvasava
    LL the Meetup Group sounds an excellent idea. I think your weight goal is realistic and achievable too. I'm a good 4/5 inches taller but hover around the 10st 4lb to my 'winter weight' of 10st 10lb unfortunately the extra always seems to result in a 'muffin top' - as I have an appointment nest month with the practice nurse regarding potential diabetes I'm going to try low carb. I'm on holiday for 10 days beforehand to Greece so I'm thinking of lovely greek yoghurt for brekky or an omlette instead of my usual toast and I'll get DS2 to test my blood sugar for me too.
    The Lacura caviar mask seems to have been very hydrating so I'll carry on using it. It does say no more than 3 times a week so I might try twice to start with and then drop to once a week.
    Happy fabbing all you lovelies
    Small victories - sometimes they are all you can hope for but sometimes they are all you need - be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 20th May 19, 9:01 PM
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    • 78,779 Thanks
    lessonlearned
    Cheeky ra ra skirt. maybe not. .

    Frankie.....glad you had such a nice time. It's a long way to go for 2 weeks. Rough on the body clock.

    Just watched the last ever GOT. End of an era.......9 years in the telling. I've loved every minute. Such complexity, so many twists and turns. Bloody and violent, yes but then that is exactly what was required.

    For those who never got hooked ........the plot is basically our own War of the Roses....but instead of two factions, ie the houses of Lancaster and York vying for the English Throne, what you had was 7 kingdoms, all vying to be top dog and sit on the Iron Throne. Throw in a weird religion very loosely based on Christianity, some sorcery as per Merlin and the Arthurian legends, a night king who leads an army of the undead, and of course, not forgetting three dragons......and there you have it.

    A story of myth and legends and as stories go, it was a corker. Up there with the Odyssey and the Norse Sagas.

    I did think the final series was a bit rushed but maybe the money was running out. Lol.
    Last edited by lessonlearned; Yesterday at 9:26 PM.
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 20th May 19, 10:53 PM
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    • 78,779 Thanks
    lessonlearned
    Time for a new challenge.......well you know me.....always ready to up my game and face a new challenge.

    I have been thinking.......yes I know .....always dangerous.

    It occurred to me what I miss most about my husband is that he was FUN. Life with him was a blast. Even in our darkest moments, when he was dying, we could still share a laugh and a joke. Since his death I haven't made room for fun and silliness. I have Been too serious, too dull and I have allowed my life to become bland and boring.

    Time to put that right.

    And Dorothy you are quite right, the internet dating malarkey is ok up to a point but nothing compares with getting out and meeting real people face to face, and simply having fun.

    So that's my mission......forget about finding the right John and just concentrate on doing things that give me joy and bring me pleasure, that make me laugh out loud and that will put back the fun into living. If Mr Right Again comes along great, if not, well that's ok too because I'm going to be having too much fun to care.

    Maman - I do remember Welsh Woofer.....you're right she did join a meet-up group and if I recall she had some really nice experiences with them.

    So my new challenge.......I vow to do at least one fun thing everyday, something to bring a huge smile to my face, to bring more joy into my life and to make me feel that it's good to be alive. Which of course it is.....or at least, it sure beats the alternative.
    • FrankieM
    • By FrankieM 21st May 19, 5:30 AM
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    FrankieM
    I'm loving the sound of your challenge LL

    I go for two weeks every year, unfortunately I only get so much annual leave and so I just have to get on with it, it's tiring for a couple of weeks afterward, but...I do have a lovely tan

    So, while I was away I met up with a couple of friends and they both work and were telling me about their 'work personas'.

    I don't really have one of those, I'm very much 'what you see is what you get' which is great up to a point.

    As in, people should know that when they meet me, I am who I say I am. There is no hidden agenda. And I think I achieve that quite successfully, but there are areas to tweek.

    So, it's now about keeping it preofessional. Professional attire, professional behaviour and a professional arms length approach that allows me to go in, do my job to the best of my ability and then leave it at the door.

    I'm not valued at my current job and it's time to move on and I think putting these things in place will help me when I get a new role.

    I read 'Quiet' by Susan Cain (I think that's her name) while I was away and that talks about the strengths of an introvert (which I am) and that has helped me to see that I don't have to compete with the extroverts in the office (sales team!) and can allow who I am to bering value.

    Putting this into place will also help with any new role.

    So, this week, it's about concentrating on my 'professional' side
    • Dorothy60
    • By Dorothy60 21st May 19, 7:50 AM
    • 67 Posts
    • 328 Thanks
    Dorothy60
    Oh LL what a fantastic plan! I LOVE IT!! Humour is so so so important, isn't it? I am a right nutter, I know I am and love it, funny thoughts just occur to me and I say them out loud and everyone laughs - Mr Dot is the same, only his humour is drier and yes, we make each other LOL every single day.


    I've heard of Meetup, in fact before my beautiful friend embarked on t'internet dating I suggested it but she dismissed it outright, citing her lack of confidence about walking into a room full of strangers. I explained that there would be many others going for the first time feeling just as nervous as her, but she would have none of it which I think is a real shame. I told her to take a massive breath before she walks in, put a lovely friendly smile on her face, shoulders back, belly sucked in, head high and step over the threshold. Make eye contact with someone and they will return your smile. Works every time. I do it every day, in my world everyone is smiling and happy because I smile at them first and greet them, and they smile back - simples.


    As you know, Mr D and I met on dateline back in the day, and if Meetup had been about then I would have been there in a breath - however I really do feel that serendipity was a play back then. Before we met I went for an interview at his place of work, was offered the job and turned it down as I was also offered one with a higher salary and as I was newly divorced this was key. Had I taken that job, we would have met and as he too was newly divorced we are both convinced that we would have met in real life and a friendship then relationship would have developed - we even lived in the same house!! He as a child and me as a young adult - spooky eh?


    Yes, some silliness and fun, mad, loud, side splitting belly laughs are just what you need, Young Lady, and if Mr Right Again falls into your orbit fine, but be prepared to be a bit disappointed if he does as you will be having such a fabulous time you won't want to break off to start dating again................ooooh dead excited for you
    • humptydumptybits
    • By humptydumptybits 21st May 19, 8:07 AM
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    humptydumptybits
    The people I know who joined Meetup picked someone in the group and contacted them until they found someone who was happy to meetup one to one before the meetup group. Just meeting for a coffee for half an hour and then walking in with someone made all the difference. My one friend now has a very strong friendship with the person she contacted and met up with and the person who contacted her who she took along to the first meeting. I think what they did was look at the member list and picked someone new who would understand their nerves. That might help anyone who is a bit nervous. Hopefully your local group with be as friendly.
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 21st May 19, 10:30 AM
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    lessonlearned
    Wow. So many positive comments about meet-up and so much support on here. I knew I could count on you guys.

    Frankie .....I too read Quiet. It's an excellent book. It really helped me. And don't worry about being an introvert.....There are a lot of us about.

    I am very much like Dorothy.....I do project well, I come over as a Happy go lucky extrovert who can strike up easy conversations, laugh and joke with strangers and make friends and acquaintances at the drop of a hat. Good job really because that's what I had to do for a living......

    However, what a lot of people don't realise is that I am actually a very quiet and private person. I don't give it all away, I have to hold something back.

    I'm just a great actress.

    My "performances" often leave me feeling tired and I do need quiet time to recharge my batteries. Too much overwhelm can leave me feeling....well....overwhelmed.

    For me I think it's about knowing yourself, and your boundaries. What you can cope with and when you need to retreat a little.

    Speaking of retreating....

    I have made a 2nd executive decision.

    I have removed my profile from the dating website. Yesterday's messages and matches were just dire. Oh dear that does sound horribly judgemental. I'm not talking about their looks etc but oh dear most of them are either delusional bores full of their own self importance or needy Johnny No Mates.

    Get this one.......a classic. He has been messaging me for a week or so. Yesterday he said he wasn't going to continue because he had arranged to meet someone for a date and he didn't think it right to string me along.....fair enough. Very noble. However then he said but maybe he could contact me again if it didn't work out.......WTAF. Sorry excuse my language.

    I replied that I wasnt prepared to sit on the substitutes bench just on the offchance I might get picked to play.

    You gotta laugh.

    Anyway need to get cracking. Granny duty beckons and I'm not even up yet.

    Have a great day y'all.
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 21st May 19, 10:42 AM
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    lessonlearned
    Dorothy......I do believe in things like fate, destiny and karma. I think it was your destiny to meet Mr Dot. That's why it works so well.

    Same with me and Mr LL. he just fell out of the sky......I was already seeing someone and wait for it......he was dating 3 other women. Yep he was quite Jack the Lad.

    Neither of us were looking for a life partner. And yet it happened. He entered my life like a whirlwind. Resistance was fultile.

    We had 34 glorious years. It was a blast.

    I appreciate I will never experience that again but maybe I can get something pretty close to that. One thing for sure.....I won't settle for anything less than a thunderbolt. You know.......the "thing", the feeling that just tells you this is it.

    It's pure magic when it happens and let's face it .....we all need a little magic in our lives. .
    • Wednesday2000
    • By Wednesday2000 21st May 19, 11:49 AM
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    Wednesday2000
    I've read Quiet too. I am an introvert. Introverts get drained of energy from human interaction while extroverts draw energy from it.

    You might not think I was if you saw me in a group situation as I can appear quite bubbly but I need time on my own.

    Apparently I have a folic acid deficiency so I need to be on supplements for that now. The symptoms are fatigue, tiredness, headaches etc... Similar to fibromyalgia and thyroid symptoms again.

    Ho hum. I just went out to get my prescription and it wasn't ready and then had to go to the vet to pick up more syringes for my dog who has diabetes.

    I wore my blue dress with leggings and sandals and my blue faux snake skin bag. It's a lovely day here today.
    Push yourself, because no one else is going to do it for you.
    • Dorothy60
    • By Dorothy60 21st May 19, 12:33 PM
    • 67 Posts
    • 328 Thanks
    Dorothy60
    I'm not a bit surprised that you have the ditched the online dating LL, my friend found it quite depressing. She and I went through a few profiles trying to look for likely candidates, and what struck me was that the ones who HAD made an effort, seemed to go too far IYSWIM - They were all there on their mountain bikes, and posing on the bottom of moutains lol - all looking very fit and outdoorsy, when in fact my friend is not a bit like that and enjoys nothing better than a nice meal, a bottle of red and a fag!! It must be so hard to sell yourself, then try to determine which bits of the profile are actually true!


    I think that it is much easier for our adult children and their generation - they have grown up with technology and facebook etc - when we were young adults we met in pubs, and gigs, and nightclubs, and of course at work - the closure of so many pubs over the last 12 years seems to have hastenend the demise of a lot of F2F interaction.


    Just on a side note, going back to my comment about you having so much fun - my MIL has been widowed since she was 49 and never remarried - she had a short relationship in her 50s which was very intense but fizzled out - fast forward 30 years and the gentleman came back on the scene and declared his undying love. She still had feelings for him but told him that she has such a nice life with her circle of lady friends and every day found something to laugh at with them, and wouldn't give it up for the world.


    Everything is slotting into place for you now, LL - this will too - I am as certain of this as I have ever been of anything - you just watch this space
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