Self help thread. I am a widow coping getting on with it

Long time no post!

Sooo . . . Wednesday this week is the long awaited inquest. Eight months of anxiety and worrying about it will finally end. I have no idea how I will be on the day. I am so much hoping that I will not have to say anything . . . I am hopeless at that. Sometimes I can cope . . . and sometimes I am a gibbering wreck. I'm sure they will have seen it all before but I do hate appearing to be weak and failing! Have any of you had to cope with an inquest? Part of me is saying that it will be just another Wednesday and it will come and go and whatever happens I will cope one way or another. Hopefully, afterwards I will be able to begin to move forwards although I am quite expecting it to bring the reality of his final days back to the fore.

I hope that doesn't all sound too selfish on my part.

I have been reading about all the exciting plans with house moves etc. Really I would like to move but (financially) it isn't an option. I did find my dream apartment but it is in Northumberland - and I'm in Dorset!!! Not practical on so many levels but I just know it would have been right for me.

I did buy the Pressure King (the small one) and have enjoyed experimenting with it. It is just right for me and I have several portions of Spaghetti Bolognese in the freezer ready for those *can't be bothered* days - there are quite a lot of those!

Hope you are all enjoying the long awaited better weather!

Thank you so much for your personal experience of your husband's Inquest.

I really can't imagine that they are going to come up with anything that I don't already know and no doubt I am over-thinking things - I'm quite good at that!

Anxiety is running at high level - I do wish I could be be more in control of any random emotions! Ironically H used to call me a control freak! My answer always was the I liked to be organised!

Tomorrow will come and go and I will survive it one way or another.

Thank you kitty. I'm sure all your kind thoughts will help to keep me going!

At the moment I am feeling quite sick with anxiety. As you say, by tomorrow afternoon it will be over and I will be able to level out again at home.

This afternoon I shall take myself out for a walk to see the bluebells and try to get things in perspective.

Thank you lessonlearned.

I am sure that the Coroner et al will have seen it all before and know how to deal with the whole gamut of emotions that arise.

As you say - after tomorrow it will be over and I can begin to concentrate on a new normal for me!

Jaybee, thinking of you today. I attended an inquest some years ago and the coroner was so kind. I hope you will have a similar experience.

This afternoon I am finally meeting with a stonemason to order a headstone for my husbands grave. I would like it in place before the second anniversary of his death in July. I have given a lot of thought to the inscription and hope I have got it right. The churchyard is only 2 doors up from my cottage. I know a lot of people find comfort in visiting the grave of their loved one but not me. I do want the grave tidy and marked though.