Hello. Our 81-year-old Mother (I am one of her three children in their fifties) lives is in an HC-One nursing home at a yearly cost of around £55,000 plus private therapy support and the upkeep of existing house, around £10,000 on top. So £65,000 in total. She went into this home in late 2015 with our Dad (who died earlier this year). Before both fell ill (our Mum from a severe brain injury following a bike accident) they had cash savings of around £500,000 and a property worth £300,000. Several years of nursing home care for both parents have cut the savings pot to £180,000. The house remains.

There is some pressure within our family to look at moving her back home with a live-in carer to look after her at a cost of around £1,000 a week via an agency (similar cost to the HC-One home). When the £180k savings pot runs out one sibling says they are prepared to support the care costs as long as they are paid back by the sale of the house (though the sale of this may ultimately involve equity release). We are being encouraged by a friend of our Mother’s to look at annuity options and discuss the issue with equity release annuity specialists.

This is all new territory to all of us – especially the annuity side involving a very compromised person – and there are mixed feelings about moving Mother from a care home to her home. She would be reliant on one sole carer for much of the time with little distraction. Because of her brain injury she cannot read, write, reason logically, see reliably or listen to the radio/watch TV. She cannot stand or walk safely and battles constant fatigue. But she has a strong core self that is recognisable to friends and family.

Our mother hates the idea of someone taking care of her in her home but would have no option if she returned there. We all, I know, want to be in our own home. Though care homes get a bad press they provide a measure of community and (very) modest stimulation which our Mum would not get at home. Finding the right carer via an agency would be difficult. Our mother has very strong ideas about her diet also. We are struggling to know what to do for the best.

Any suggestions welcome.

Thanks