Rehomed a cat - partner wants to get rid of him

Becky19 · 7 June 2019 at 5:41PM

Hi everyone,

Around 2 weeks ago me and my partner adopted a 2 year old cat from the RSPCA. I think he's settled in really well and is a lovely, playful cat. The issue is my partner now wants us to get rid of him. The main reason for this is that he has attacked both of us a few times. I have noticed this seems to be mostly when we walk past him with bare legs and feet, although a couple of times it has been totally unprovoked e.g. he will jump on our lap for some attention and then will start biting us.

My partner also gets annoyed at him for jumping on the kitchen counters, the smell from the litter trays even though I scoop them as soon as I notice he's been. He is now saying he doesn't feel comfortable in our home and will start staying late at work just so he doesn't have to be here with him. It's causing us so many arguments and I just don't know what to do, I think two weeks is not enough time and he will get better but my partner disagrees.

Does anybody have any advice on what I can do about this cat behaviour? I have a feliway plug in but I'm unsure if it's had any effect yet.
I would be so upset about taking him back as I feel like I've bonded with him already but I also don't want to ruin my relationship with my boyfriend.

Thanks

NeilCr · 7 June 2019 at 6:02PM

Patience, I am afraid.

I took on a cat who had been a stray and rescued. He does all of the above (still) although he has quietened down. In his mind he is playing and)or seeking attention. He still gets my feet even though I know it is going to happen. A water spray does deter him a bit!

He used to run from a number of yards and jump on my lap and grab my arm. Now he wrestles my arm sometimes - and, occasionally, visitors which is a tad embarrassing. But he is a lovely cat with a huge character and he is the best cat I've had and I've had a lot.

To be honest, if your partner was not aware of the smell of dirt trays and walking on surfaces I am not sure what he was expecting

Have you/he had a cat before?

heatherw_01 · 7 June 2019 at 6:05PM

2 weeks is not remotely long enough, the poor thing will need time to adapt.

donnac2558 · 7 June 2019 at 6:08PM

Your boyfriend sounds a very selfish individual!

This cat is still young and is play fighting. The hand biting just move your hands away and say no, do not shout. The same with the game of jumping out at your feet and legs. Check out Jackson Galaxy online he is a cat behaviourist.

The fact your boyfriend is whining about the litter tray is a dead giveaway he never ever really wanted a cat. Oh, the smell, so when he goes to the toilet no doubt it smells like roses.

Dump the selfish prat and keep the cat. He is using emotional blackmail, in other words, trying to control you by saying he will stay later at work. So what next will he demand to control you if you get rid of the cat?

Becky19 · 7 June 2019 at 6:13PM

Thank you for your replies, that's exactly what I've said to him - that he's just being playful and isn't actually trying to hurt us.

We've both had cats before but not together. He had one as a child but he claims she was a "nice" cat and never went for him. Both of my previous cats would bite or scratch me on occasion but I never took it personally so I don't really see this as an issue right now.

Our house is very small so I'm wondering if when we can start letting him out he might be a bit happier and less energetic at home?

melanzana · 7 June 2019 at 6:15PM

Do you like the cat more than your BF? That's the deciding factor, because it won't work out if you keep the cat if BF is not happy about it.

I wouldn't be happy either about the cat attacking you to be honest, even though it's early days.

Decisions, decisions.

Sea_Shell · 7 June 2019 at 6:16PM

Just be careful that any scratches don't turn septic. A scratch can kill!!!

iammumtoone · 7 June 2019 at 6:40PM

You should have thought about this before you got the poor cat. You seem to have done that more than your partner, did you discuss together what your expectations were? Your partner seems deluded about what having a young cat involves.

Its too late now but it sounds like an older cat would have suited them better but I suppose you both wanted a playful younger one, but you can't have everything, with that playfulness can come issues like this.

The cat will settle down with patience and care but that has to come from both of you.

Good luck you sound like you are on the cats side I hope you can turn your partner round.

NeilCr · 7 June 2019 at 6:50PM

Sea_Shell wrote: »

Just be careful that any scratches don't turn septic. A scratch can kill!!!

But, extremely rarely

The NHS says this

https://www.nhs.uk/news/medical-practice/cuddling-a-kitten-almost-certainly-wont-kill-you/

Owain_Moneysaver · 7 June 2019 at 7:43PM

If your boyfriend was a gentleman he would do the litter tray scooping.

Whether he wanted the cat or not.

zagfles · 7 June 2019 at 7:44PM

We had a cat just like this, and found a consistent shout of "NO" or "STOP IT" whenever he bit/scratched did the trick, and it didn't take long. I think the trick is consistency and immediacy, cats aren't thick and they'll soon associate the bad behaviour with the bad result. Also withdraw attention after bad behaviour, worst thing possible would be to shout at the cat, then feel bad about it and give him a cuddle, that'll send out really mixed messages!

Work surfaces are a bit harder, as you can't be as consistent since he could go up there when you're not around, but ours learnt about this too eventually, though it took a bit longer.

Good luck!

Rehomed a cat - partner wants to get rid of him

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