Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • MarkypB
    • By MarkypB 1st May 19, 2:41 PM
    • 4Posts
    • 0Thanks
    MarkypB
    Seperated--Mortgage advice required
    • #1
    • 1st May 19, 2:41 PM
    Seperated--Mortgage advice required 1st May 19 at 2:41 PM
    Hi all ,
    I have been separated from my wife of 7 years for around 18 months.
    I left the marital home leaving her with everything, house , contents, car and so on .
    For the last 18 months I have been living with my parents during which time I have been paying half of the mortgage and making child maintenance payments calculated using csa website.
    My question is, Is there a way I can stop paying my half of the mortgage but remain on the title deeds as my Ex CAN afford to take over the mortgage but CAN NOT afford to buy me out. I need to find a way to protect my share of the equity in the property until such a point she can either afford to buy me out or is in a position to sell.

    Thanks
Page 1
  • archived user
    • #2
    • 1st May 19, 2:55 PM
    • #2
    • 1st May 19, 2:55 PM
    Hi all ,
    I have been separated from my wife of 7 years for around 18 months.
    I left the marital home leaving her with everything, house , contents, car and so on .
    For the last 18 months I have been living with my parents during which time I have been paying half of the mortgage and making child maintenance payments calculated using csa website.
    My question is, Is there a way I can stop paying my half of the mortgage but remain on the title deeds as my Ex CAN afford to take over the mortgage but CAN NOT afford to buy me out. I need to find a way to protect my share of the equity in the property until such a point she can either afford to buy me out or is in a position to sell.

    Thanks
    Originally posted by MarkypB

    If your name is on it, you're liable. Really, you should pay no more than child maintenance and she should move out into house she can afford. You can't run your life, and hers.



    In cases like these, it's not in her interest to be in a 'position of interest' to sell...ask that you want to sell and move back in to focus her mind should she not want to.



    If you are not divorced, there is a likelihood a judge will say the house cannot be sold until the child is XX age, when you do finally divorce.



    Not entirely sure you will be liable for half in this instance...maybe your ex will hold you to ransom over this (threat of repossession), however most men can't run their own house, pay for half their ex's and child maintenance...it's just not possible.


    In your shoes, I would ask that the house is sold now and assets divided and she has to buy something within her means. If a judge says no, I would go down the route of stopping payment on the mortgage and get an agreement that when the house is sold in X number of years, you get at the very least the equity that's in it now.



    In hindsight, it's always worth staying in the family home during the process and if you haven't divorced - what's taken you so long?
    Last edited by andydownes123; 01-05-2019 at 3:03 PM.
    • MarkypB
    • By MarkypB 1st May 19, 4:00 PM
    • 4 Posts
    • 0 Thanks
    MarkypB
    • #3
    • 1st May 19, 4:00 PM
    • #3
    • 1st May 19, 4:00 PM
    Hindsight is a wonderful thing, there are many reasons behind it taking so long to get myself into the position to be able to deal with this .
    She has agreed in principle to sell but only when the youngest child leaves full time education which is going to be a minimum of 3 years and potentially 5 if college is taken into consideration.
  • archived user
    • #4
    • 2nd May 19, 8:39 AM
    • #4
    • 2nd May 19, 8:39 AM
    What she agrees to and what a judge agrees to are two separate things. You not facing this has played to her advantage. If you've taken this amout of time to deal with this, she knows you're not going hardball.
    • TBagpuss
    • By TBagpuss 16th May 19, 11:03 AM
    • 7,662 Posts
    • 9,970 Thanks
    TBagpuss
    • #5
    • 16th May 19, 11:03 AM
    • #5
    • 16th May 19, 11:03 AM
    If she can afford the mortgage then the usual ay to do it would be that the house would be transferred into her name subject to her getting you relased from the exisiting mortgage (i.e. she would remortgage into her own name) then you would have a charge over the property for x% of the value (based on the agreed split of the current equity but expressed as a % of the gross value at the time you are paid)

    You and she then agree on the 'trigger points' for her to have tp pay you. It would be reasonable for this to be when your child leaves secondary education - or sooner if either she is able to pay you out, if she remarries or if she choses to sell up to move house.

    Talk to your solicitor about the options, and also about the appropriate % taking into account your and her incomes, needs and all of the other assets.
  • archived user
    • #6
    • 16th May 19, 4:28 PM
    • #6
    • 16th May 19, 4:28 PM
    If she can afford the mortgage then the usual ay to do it would be that the house would be transferred into her name subject to her getting you relased from the exisiting mortgage (i.e. she would remortgage into her own name) then you would have a charge over the property for x% of the value (based on the agreed split of the current equity but expressed as a % of the gross value at the time you are paid)

    You and she then agree on the 'trigger points' for her to have tp pay you. It would be reasonable for this to be when your child leaves secondary education - or sooner if either she is able to pay you out, if she remarries or if she choses to sell up to move house.

    Talk to your solicitor about the options, and also about the appropriate % taking into account your and her incomes, needs and all of the other assets.
    Originally posted by TBagpuss

    This is good advice. My trigger points would exactly that. Settle the mortgage when the following happens:


    1. Marries new partner
    2. Kids finish secondary education
    3. Custody changes (for example 50/50 arrangments)
    4. Kids come to live with father
    • Dilbert999
    • By Dilbert999 30th May 19, 9:49 AM
    • 60 Posts
    • 64 Thanks
    Dilbert999
    • #7
    • 30th May 19, 9:49 AM
    • #7
    • 30th May 19, 9:49 AM
    From experience, I would recommend the following right now :
    (1) sign up for the HM Land Registry's Property Alert service. No charge for this currently. This will send you an alert when an application to make a change to the register is received against your property (ie a secured loan, or mortgage advance, or charge application). My cousin discovered his estranged wife had applied for & received a mortgage advance without his knowledge. So now my cousin has this alert set up just to prevent this happening again (horse already bolted, I know!)
    (2) Apply for a FREE* Equifax Credit Report & Score (*Your first 30 days are free then it's 7.95 per month. You can cancel at any time.) My cousin discovered via his credit report that his estranged wife had applied for several credit cards that she had not declared on her Form E. She denied applying for the cards, but at least he was able to take steps to ensure he was not liable in anyway for her debts on these cards.
    PS Note that my cousin & his estranged wife had agreed his % between themselves but then she refused to sell for years (even though just her in the house), refused to honour the agreement, etc. Only selling now because she wants to. Totally agree with AndyDownes advice about asking that the house is sold now and assets divided (move back in if you can face it), or if that's a no go, TBagpuss's advice about you having a charge over the property for x% of the value.
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

2,922Posts Today

8,475Users online

Martin's Twitter