No income at all - help

froud · 8 January 2019 at 2:07PM

Hi all,

I don't know if I have posted in the right place!

My temporary job ended 6 months ago and I have been trying really hard to get a new job since. My contribution based JSA ran out last month.

I tried making a claim for Universal Credit but my partner thinks going to the job centre is beneath him and says he shouldn't have to go as it's got nothing to do with him. He also earns way too much for us to be able to get any benefit. Due to this the claim was closed down.

Me and my partner are going through a rough patch and have been on and off for months. I am trying to move out, but obviously I have no income now so can't. I am trying my hardest to get a job. Due to him having all the money he kind of has a hold over me, and that dictates what I do, what I eat, where I can go, what I can wear etc. Because I have to ask him for money.

ANY money I get goes to him as repayment. e.g. xmas money, birthday money, if I do little errands for family etc.

I have an infection or absess growing in my mouth and I really need to go to the dentist, but I can't afford it. There is no way he will pay for me. And even so why should it be down to him to pay for someone elses dental treatment?

I am so stuck in a rut and have no idea how to get out of it.

I am just wondering if there is any loans or benefits I can get to help me? Just to get out of the house so I can live on my own and have control over my own life? Just until I find work anyway.

comeandgo · 8 January 2019 at 2:13PM

Have you no family or friends you can stay with? You are not in a healthy relationship. If you have no one, go to a woman's aid shelter. You need to get away and start your own claim for universal credit.

Mojisola · 8 January 2019 at 2:15PM

froud wrote: »

Due to him having all the money he kind of has a hold over me, and that dictates what I do, what I eat, where I can go, what I can wear etc. Because I have to ask him for money.

ANY money I get goes to him as repayment. e.g. xmas money, birthday money, if I do little errands for family etc.

I have an infection or absess growing in my mouth and I really need to go to the dentist, but I can't afford it. There is no way he will pay for me.

This is an abusive relationship - contact Women's Aid and get help to leave.

froud · 8 January 2019 at 2:16PM

No, I am not from the area, only have 2 family members but they both have kids pets etc and said they can't support me. (i live in Yorkshire and most of my family are in Birmingham - long story).

gettingtheresometime · 8 January 2019 at 2:17PM

comeandgo wrote: »

Have you no family or friends you can stay with? You are not in a healthy relationship. If you have no one, go to a woman's aid shelter. You need to get away and start your own claim for universal credit.

In addition to this is there any family you could confide in ?

If there is & you trust them then do so & , if you can stick it out, can any money be directed, on the sly, to them for your safe keeping?

froud · 8 January 2019 at 2:17PM

I didn't realise it sounded so bad to other people. Thank you I will contact them.

froud · 8 January 2019 at 2:24PM

Thank you for the advice, I never thought of doing that.

poppy12345 · 8 January 2019 at 2:59PM

froud wrote: »

I have an infection or absess growing in my mouth and I really need to go to the dentist, but I can't afford it. There is no way he will pay for me. And even so why should it be down to him to pay for someone elses dental treatment?

That's awful. He's your partner and is meant to look after you and pay for things you need. This is what having a partner is all about!

I agree with the others, this is mental abuse. I'd contact woman's aid for help.

I know exactly what it feels like, been there, done it. I really do hope you receive some help and get out before it gets worse. Don't leave it another day before getting some help, do it now. Good luck.

froud · 8 January 2019 at 3:19PM

Thanks so much

[Deleted User] · 8 January 2019 at 4:34PM

It’s abuse - I’d be going to the local police station - from there they will put you somewhere safe. I

[Deleted User] · 8 January 2019 at 4:48PM

I didn't want to read and run but you have been offered some great advice OP hope you get everything sorted out and can move on with your life x

No income at all - help

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