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    • ohshithowdidthathappen
    • By ohshithowdidthathappen 20th Dec 18, 9:56 PM
    • 141Posts
    • 414Thanks
    ohshithowdidthathappen
    *sigh* this may take a while
    • #1
    • 20th Dec 18, 9:56 PM
    *sigh* this may take a while 20th Dec 18 at 9:56 PM
    HI

    I've been using this site for years, although I haven't posted for a while and my account seems to have been lost! However, I've decided to accept that as a clean slate :-)

    I'll post an accurate SOA over the next few days... but the short version is my husband and I have a nice income between us (about £100K) but we have 5 children and a big house to run and we're not good at saving before we spend. We've just done a massive extension on our house and find ourselves in a large amount of debt circa £45000. We can service this debt, but we'd like it gone asap.

    I'm hoping by doing a diary, it'll keep me focussed
Page 5
    • Yellow_mango
    • By Yellow_mango 18th Jun 19, 10:24 AM
    • 254 Posts
    • 394 Thanks
    Yellow_mango
    This is where our money goes..... between now and next July, we have the following school trips to pay for.
    Child 1 trip to Iceland - £1200
    Child 2 trip to France - £350
    Child 2 trip to Spain - £600
    Child 3 residential trip in UK - £450
    We've decided to downgrade our UK summer holiday massively this year, so that it should cost £500 rather than £2k and will put the difference in an account. Will then put £100 a month away into the account, so hopefully should be enough in there to cover
    Child 2 also needs a passport as never been abroad before.
    I'm excited for them all, lovely opportunities for them. Just don't want to get in a pickle paying for it
    Gah yes!! Itís neverending! My boys have end of term trips next week - ďonlyĒ £60 and £36. DS1 went to Milan earlier in the year. £400 ish. The youngest has a ballet exam - that was about £60. Then they are going to PGL with their friends during the summer. Thatís £300 odd each. Luckily I managed to pay for that with the last of my childcare vouchers but need to build it into the budget for next year.

    I have said no to the £1000 ski trips the school keep trying to sell me...
    • ohshithowdidthathappen
    • By ohshithowdidthathappen 18th Jun 19, 3:10 PM
    • 141 Posts
    • 414 Thanks
    ohshithowdidthathappen
    Gah yes!! Itís neverending! My boys have end of term trips next week - ďonlyĒ £60 and £36. DS1 went to Milan earlier in the year. £400 ish. The youngest has a ballet exam - that was about £60. Then they are going to PGL with their friends during the summer. Thatís £300 odd each. Luckily I managed to pay for that with the last of my childcare vouchers but need to build it into the budget for next year.

    I have said no to the £1000 ski trips the school keep trying to sell me...
    Originally posted by Yellow_mango
    Yes, I've said 'no' to skiing too. Our school goes to Canada and it costs £2500!! What?!
    Child 3 residential school trip is PGL, I hadn't realised until recently that you could book them in yourself, I always thought it was just schools need to investigate further
    Total unsecured debt: £8500/£45393 81% paid.
    Aiming for DFD of 03/21
    • ohshithowdidthathappen
    • By ohshithowdidthathappen 18th Jun 19, 3:15 PM
    • 141 Posts
    • 414 Thanks
    ohshithowdidthathappen
    Really enjoyed skimming through your diary. careers and 5 kids with £135k of building work...are you super-humans?

    The more I've done this debt journey thing the more I've come to realise there is no one solution to everyone's issues.

    Wow older kids are expensive. We only have one (DD9) and she costs the best part of £100 a month just on clubs...thankfully no mobile phones and residential school trips just yet.
    Originally posted by Starmummy
    Ha, not super human, just stupid everything seemed like a good idea at the time and now it's the boring bit of paying for it all!

    Clubs can be pricey, ours all have (or had) swimming lessons and go to guides/scouting groups. We've had to say 'no' to most other extra curricular activities; time and money doesn't allow really. I encourage them to do clubs at school though. I sometimes feel a bit bad they haven't had the opportunity to learn an instrument or seriously get into a sport
    Total unsecured debt: £8500/£45393 81% paid.
    Aiming for DFD of 03/21
    • Yellow_mango
    • By Yellow_mango 18th Jun 19, 3:23 PM
    • 254 Posts
    • 394 Thanks
    Yellow_mango
    Child 3 residential school trip is PGL, I hadn't realised until recently that you could book them in yourself, I always thought it was just schools need to investigate further
    If you do look into this itís worth clubbing together with a few other mums. They do 2:1 offers regularly over the summer, and the kids get to share rooms with their friends. Itís not awful value for a weeks all inclusive childcare. And they take childcare vouchers!
    • ohshithowdidthathappen
    • By ohshithowdidthathappen 21st Jun 19, 10:13 AM
    • 141 Posts
    • 414 Thanks
    ohshithowdidthathappen
    One of my colleagues has left to become a locum radiographer. I do wonder sometimes if I'm not missing a trick not doing the same. My current hourly rate is £19.20 with the NHS, she's getting £34 per hour, which is standard for our level.
    Obviously, she won't get sickness, pension or holiday pay, but she's going to save some into an account so she could pay herself 6 weeks holiday and cover up to 6 months off for illness which is what the NHS would cover. They've been whittling away at our pensions, so although still decent, they're nowhere near as good as they used to be. Food for thought!
    Total unsecured debt: £8500/£45393 81% paid.
    Aiming for DFD of 03/21
    • mark88man
    • By mark88man 21st Jun 19, 6:59 PM
    • 4,004 Posts
    • 9,532 Thanks
    mark88man
    although I understand that the NHS pensions have decreased in the benefits they provide, I believe they are still far superior to most of what is offer outside of public service. so they may not be solid gold anymore, they are at least gold plated - and probably worth (irrespective of whatever you contribute) 30% extra on your salary. you should ask on the pensions forum where some very knowledgeable and helpful posters hang out. only mentioning it as it could be a big mistake. pensions are an area where mistakes are hard if not impossible to undo
    Things happen for a reason. Often the reason is we are stupid & make bad decisions.
    Weight/Health - Fluctuating - better than I was worse than I should be
    End 18: CC:8K@0% - Car Loan:11K@2.8% - Mort:133K@2.1% = £152K
    Decrease in Total Debt 2016:£13.4K 2017:£8.3K 2018:£20K

    • ohshithowdidthathappen
    • By ohshithowdidthathappen 23rd Jun 19, 8:04 AM
    • 141 Posts
    • 414 Thanks
    ohshithowdidthathappen
    although I understand that the NHS pensions have decreased in the benefits they provide, I believe they are still far superior to most of what is offer outside of public service. so they may not be solid gold anymore, they are at least gold plated - and probably worth (irrespective of whatever you contribute) 30% extra on your salary. you should ask on the pensions forum where some very knowledgeable and helpful posters hang out. only mentioning it as it could be a big mistake. pensions are an area where mistakes are hard if not impossible to undo
    Originally posted by mark88man
    Yes, very true. I must admit to being a bit clueless about pensions, but I've been looking at it over the last couple of days. 9.3% of my pretax salary gets deducted for pension, since earlier this year NHS contributions have gone up to 20% (it was 14% before).

    They definitely tinkered with them though, they've changed retirement age to be in line with the state one. Can't imagine lugging heavy equipment (and patients) around until I'm 68 I guess it makes the financial incentive greater to be better with our money, so we can retire early! They've also changed it to career average, whereas before you could pick your 3 best years out of the last 10 and your pension was based on that. Not great for part timers like me! My manager, for example, has just retired. She worked part time as a radiographer most of her career.... 5 years ago, she accepted a management role full time. Her entire pension will be based on her £55k full time salary. Nice! I guess that's what this career averaging change stops, must cost the pension pot a fortune
    Total unsecured debt: £8500/£45393 81% paid.
    Aiming for DFD of 03/21
    • ohshithowdidthathappen
    • By ohshithowdidthathappen 23rd Jun 19, 8:12 AM
    • 141 Posts
    • 414 Thanks
    ohshithowdidthathappen
    Just agreed for my son to go on a scout camp in the summer hols, £200. It's 8 days, so very good value and he'll love it (and it gets him off his screens!). They don't mollycoddle them and I think it's very good for them.... we can absorb the cost, but I think I need to adjust our budget a bit, all these trips are not covered by the amount we're putting aside.
    Have been pretty good at avoiding the sales this month, we don't need anything, so I haven't looked! Progress.
    I'm starting to put together some ideas for the summer hols, I think if I plan some low budget days and days close to home, it'll stop me mindlessly taking them to expensive places. I'm thinking of setting a budget for the school holidays too, keep us in line! It's a long stretch of time to fill and as the children are aged 3-16, it makes finding activities they all like tricky.
    Total unsecured debt: £8500/£45393 81% paid.
    Aiming for DFD of 03/21
    • mark88man
    • By mark88man 23rd Jun 19, 8:45 AM
    • 4,004 Posts
    • 9,532 Thanks
    mark88man
    With a mixed gang like yours I can only imagine how difficult days out are. However, can I recommend (weather permitting) a focus on walking/hiking. A bit of organisation, possibly even a few spends on kit, but one of my few regrets is not doing much more of that when ours were growing up.

    picnics or an ice cream at the end can be a cheap treat (especially a 6 pack of cornettos from a corner shop if you can find one near somewhere nice to walk.

    canal walks are nice - although with a 3 year old possibly not yet. even a walk around the park with a ball or too can use a lot of energy and be fun

    trips to the beach can likewise be good if you can find somewhere cheap to park
    Things happen for a reason. Often the reason is we are stupid & make bad decisions.
    Weight/Health - Fluctuating - better than I was worse than I should be
    End 18: CC:8K@0% - Car Loan:11K@2.8% - Mort:133K@2.1% = £152K
    Decrease in Total Debt 2016:£13.4K 2017:£8.3K 2018:£20K

    • katsu
    • By katsu 23rd Jun 19, 9:22 PM
    • 4,523 Posts
    • 14,051 Thanks
    katsu
    I've gone through your SOA and tried to give you some ideas to think about.

    Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

    Household Information

    Number of adults in household........... 2
    Number of children in household......... 5
    Number of cars owned.................... 2

    Monthly Income Details

    Monthly income after tax................ 1670
    Partners monthly income after tax....... 4400
    Benefits................................ 0
    Other income............................ 0
    Total monthly income.................... 6070


    Monthly Expense Details

    Mortgage................................ 1620
    Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 200
    Rent.................................... 0
    Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
    Council tax............................. 228
    Electricity............................. 80
    Gas..................................... 80 checked your tariff recently? Worth checking you are on the best deal and then considering whether you could reduce your usage at all?
    Oil..................................... 0
    Water rates............................. 40
    Telephone (land line)................... 40 includes broadband Virgin now offer broadband without a telephone. As you all have mobiles do you use the landline? Might be worth looking at?
    Mobile phone............................ 40 5 x SIM only plans Looks a great price
    TV Licence.............................. 10
    Satellite/Cable TV...................... 10 Now TV and Netflix
    Internet Services....................... 0 included with phone
    Groceries etc. ......................... 700 high! includes booze and toiletries [COLOR="blue"]Some store cupboard challenges? Try and use up what you have at home? Shopping at Aldi/Lidl?
    I love their food and people rate their wine/COLOR]
    Clothing................................ 250 high, but for 7 people even for 7 people, £3k a year seems a lot on clothes, but I guess work wear and school go through clothes
    Petrol/diesel........................... 200
    Road tax................................ 24
    Car Insurance........................... 50 We use AutoAid breakdown cover,
    Only £60 a year for 2 people so might be worth a look depending on where you budget for your breakdown cover?

    Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 20 Are you now saving this?
    Car parking............................. 0
    Other travel............................ 0
    Childcare/nursery....................... 300
    Other child related expenses............ 200 pocket money and clubs
    Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 22
    Pet insurance/vet bills................. 30
    Buildings insurance..................... 20
    Contents insurance...................... 16 Seems a good price for both
    Life assurance ......................... 35 recently updated to cover increased mortgage
    Other insurance......................... 25 professional indemnity
    Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 200 sounds a lot, but covers Xmas too Any way to reduce this? It depends how you want everything to be in your life but you've got the clubs, the entertainment, the holidays plus presents all taking a fair chunk of your disposable income
    Haircuts................................ 50
    Entertainment........................... 150
    Holiday................................. 200
    Emergency fund.......................... 100
    Boiler cover ........................... 32 only until Dec 2019, cheapest way to get boiler fixed
    Total monthly expenses.................. 4972



    Assets

    Cash.................................... 0 I guess the savings for presents, christmas, etc above are a new habit you are starting?
    House value (Gross)..................... 725000
    Shares and bonds........................ 0
    Car(s).................................. 15000 1 car is on finance (HP) other is very old
    Other assets............................ 0
    Total Assets............................ 740000



    Secured & HP Debts

    Description....................Debt......Monthly.. .APR
    Mortgage...................... 350000...(1620).....1.89
    Hire Purchase (HP) debt ...... 15000....(200)......2.9
    Total secured & HP debts...... 365000....-.........-


    Unsecured Debts
    Description....................Debt......Monthly.. .APR
    Folks..........................8500......0........ .0 no minimum - as and when
    Total unsecured debts..........8500......0.........-



    Monthly Budget Summary

    Total monthly income.................... 6,070
    Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 4,972
    Available for debt repayments........... 1,098
    Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 0
    Amount left after debt repayments....... 1,098
    Does the bank match up to this?

    Personal Balance Sheet Summary
    Total assets (things you own)........... 740,000
    Total HP & Secured debt................. -365,000
    Total Unsecured debt.................... -8,500
    Net Assets.............................. 366,500


    Created using the SOA calculator at www.stoozing.com.
    Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using other browser.
    Originally posted by ohshithowdidthathappen
    Debt at highest: £8k Debt Free 31/12/2009 (nine years and counting ) Original MFD: May 2036. MF Dec 2018
    • ohshithowdidthathappen
    • By ohshithowdidthathappen 24th Jun 19, 9:02 AM
    • 141 Posts
    • 414 Thanks
    ohshithowdidthathappen
    With a mixed gang like yours I can only imagine how difficult days out are. However, can I recommend (weather permitting) a focus on walking/hiking. A bit of organisation, possibly even a few spends on kit, but one of my few regrets is not doing much more of that when ours were growing up.

    picnics or an ice cream at the end can be a cheap treat (especially a 6 pack of cornettos from a corner shop if you can find one near somewhere nice to walk.

    canal walks are nice - although with a 3 year old possibly not yet. even a walk around the park with a ball or too can use a lot of energy and be fun

    trips to the beach can likewise be good if you can find somewhere cheap to park
    Originally posted by mark88man
    All great ideas, thank you. I like the walking idea, my husband and I were avid hikers before we had the children, would be lovely to make it a family activity.

    I asked them at the weekend to come up with an idea each that they'd love to do.
    Seaside, aquarium, zoo and trampolining were the outcomes.

    I'm thinking if I do one of those ideas each week of the summer hols as the 'big' days out, then the other days, I can mix it up with park trips, National Trust visits and visiting friends (or them coming to us)

    I bought my older 2 season passes to Thorpe Park ack in March as we live within 30 mins of it. They were £50 each, but they use them loads and the deal is they pay for their lunches out of their pocket money. They're saying they'll go once a week in the summer I could use those days to do activities that suit the littler ones
    Total unsecured debt: £8500/£45393 81% paid.
    Aiming for DFD of 03/21
    • ohshithowdidthathappen
    • By ohshithowdidthathappen 24th Jun 19, 9:22 AM
    • 141 Posts
    • 414 Thanks
    ohshithowdidthathappen
    Thanks Katsu, I've had a look at your suggestions

    - I have looked at our tariffs and couldn't find cheaper. It's our usage that's the problem; heating always on in winter, lights always left on, dishwasher, tumble dryer, washing machine always on the go. Kids all have multiple gadgets plugged in
    - Virgin is rubbish in our area, which is a shame, as deals look fab. We're with BT and for the SIM only deals on our mobiles too.
    -Food shopping is definitely an area I need to look at. I like to get it delivered as hate shopping, but means Aldi/Lidl is more tricky. I have been to both for a nose and was very impressed with prices etc, but been too lazy to work harder for my shopping
    -I switched to Autoaid earlier this year, so much cheaper! Not listed on SOA, oops.
    -clothes, definitely another area to trim back. Although school uniform, clothes, shoes for 5 kids plus work gear for husband (I have a uniform) does seem to add up! I need to get firmer with older 2... they don't mind some cheap stuff, but trainers, hoodies etc tend to be designer (although I do go to outlets, never full price)
    - presents are another weakness; we like to spoil the kids at Christmas and on their birthdays and we buy for quite a lot of family too. I changed it a few years back to kids only, which helped. Parties through the year add up, the kids can go to 8 parties a month. I used to do £10 per present, but have got into sale buying, multi buys etc and stockpiling when I see a good deal on lego etc... means it looks like I spent £10, wheras more like £5!

    We do seem to have around £1k spare to play with but we do have a tendency to still be a bit spendy. We're also still decorating/furnishing and find that that absorbs our cash.

    I'm aware that although we're living within our means, we haven't really got our spending habits under control. It's just the healthy income keeping us out of mischief. Definitely a work in progress
    Total unsecured debt: £8500/£45393 81% paid.
    Aiming for DFD of 03/21
    • ohshithowdidthathappen
    • By ohshithowdidthathappen 24th Jun 19, 9:30 AM
    • 141 Posts
    • 414 Thanks
    ohshithowdidthathappen
    We had a relatively low spend weekend... I worked Saturday, hubby took kids round to his mums and then the park. We made homemade pizzas for dinner, all ingredients from our cupboards.

    Sunday was a DIY day, took most of it to fit 3 blinds! We had quotes for made to measure roman blinds, £750!! Ouch. Instead, we bought ready made roller blinds for £100. Obviously still money spent, but a massive saving to what we'd usually do. We took kids swimming (£10) and then I cooked dinner from meat we had in the freezer, big stew and made dumplings too.

    So today's spends....

    £16 for child 3 school trip
    £10 for picnic stuff for school sports day tomorrow - bought from Lidl, money went along way!

    I'll be decorating today, but everything I need already bought in, so no more spending required for the day as made lunchboxes for the other 6 out of what we hd in the fridge
    Total unsecured debt: £8500/£45393 81% paid.
    Aiming for DFD of 03/21
    • ohshithowdidthathappen
    • By ohshithowdidthathappen 25th Jun 19, 10:24 AM
    • 141 Posts
    • 414 Thanks
    ohshithowdidthathappen
    Ordered gifts for youngest's 4th Birthday, spent £50 on 6 gifts. That's pretty good for us, I'd normally have spent double that, but I'm happy with what we've got and I know he'll love them.
    We don't do parties for young ones, start at 5, so other than a cake (going to bake one!) it's a pretty frugal (for us) Birthday

    Mini grumble is that all sets of grandparents (there are 3 as DH parents are divorced) just send us money and I have to buy their gifts as well. I'm probably being grouchy, but I can't see why they can't just buy them themselves, I'd happily send them links for ideas. They're all tech savvy and regularly shop online etc. I then have to give the gifts to them to wrap, except DH Dad isn't local, so I wrap his too. Gah!
    Total unsecured debt: £8500/£45393 81% paid.
    Aiming for DFD of 03/21
    • ohshithowdidthathappen
    • By ohshithowdidthathappen 26th Jun 19, 9:10 AM
    • 141 Posts
    • 414 Thanks
    ohshithowdidthathappen
    We've been chatting about our finances and prioritising. The only debt we now have (other than our epic mortgage) is the £8500 we owe OH Dad. He's happy if we pay that back out of OH next two bonuses, so £4250 in March '20 and £4250 in March '21, which is lovely of him.

    We're therefore going to prioritise finishing off the house and saving up an emergency fund. We think £5k should finish most of the house; fencing (very large garden ), plastering one room and carpeting hall, stairs, landing and 2 bedrooms. The main bathroom needs doing too, but that's a 3-5 year aim!
    Emergency fund, we'd like to also save £5K and then leave it untouched. If we manage to do all that before March '21, then we'll aim to pay OH Dad back early

    We both got paid yesterday, so have transferred money around where it needs to go. We did have £1200 left over and I've put it to one side towards some fencing and steps that are being done next month. The work is costing £3k and I've only got to save another £800 to have it all sitting there waiting. We're pretty proud of that
    Total unsecured debt: £8500/£45393 81% paid.
    Aiming for DFD of 03/21
    • Yellow_mango
    • By Yellow_mango 26th Jun 19, 9:35 AM
    • 254 Posts
    • 394 Thanks
    Yellow_mango
    Sounds like a good plan! I can’t wait until we’ve finally got rid of these debts and can start saving up properly for house stuff!

    That’s reminded me - our fence really needs doing too. Not very glamorous, but that’s probably the first thing we should be saving up for.
    • ohshithowdidthathappen
    • By ohshithowdidthathappen 27th Jun 19, 10:41 AM
    • 141 Posts
    • 414 Thanks
    ohshithowdidthathappen
    My mum's birthday is coming up (a big one), so I've been doing some babysitting to earn money for that without it coming out of our monthly figures.
    I've saved £150, so I'm going to give her £50 in cash and my brother and I are taking her out for lunch, so the other £100 will pay for Mum and I.
    My Mum and brother are both a bit rubbish with money and are both discharged bankrupts. Since my Dad died, I've been keeping Mum to a strict budget to ensure she makes ends meet. 15 months in and it's been working, although I do find it a bit of a mental and emotional strain keeping her on track. Dad used to handle their finances and she's almost a bit child like with it all, which I find frustrating. My brother makes me annoyed with his finances, his priorities are all off.
    When my Dad died, OH and I paid all the funeral expenses and brother said he couldn't afford to contribute, the following month he went on holiday and bought a new car. Some of our unsecured debt is the funeral costs (I don't resent that, my lovely Dad deserved a good send off), but it galled me that Mum and brother wouldn't help at all. Gah! Sorry, turned into a mini rant there.
    Mum's lunch, I suggested a venue which was nice, but reasonably priced. She guilt tripped me into taking her somewhere else (much more expensive) instead 'oh, it was mine and your Dad's favourite' etc and then my brother now saying he can only afford to pay for himself, not half my mum's too as previously agreed. Hey ho, families, eh?
    Last edited by ohshithowdidthathappen; 27-06-2019 at 11:45 AM. Reason: typo
    Total unsecured debt: £8500/£45393 81% paid.
    Aiming for DFD of 03/21
    • enthusiasticsaver
    • By enthusiasticsaver 27th Jun 19, 3:28 PM
    • 8,736 Posts
    • 20,253 Thanks
    enthusiasticsaver
    Sounds like you are doing really well if you only have the family debt to repay and your FIL is willing to wait until bonuses paid. I agree emergency savings should be a priority but good you can now concentrate on saving for the home improvements.

    I am a bit at the gall of your mum in dictating the choice of venue when she knows it is expensive and of your brother in saying that although he will pay for himself he will not give anything towards your mums meal. I am sorry but I would be tempted to say to her that your brother cannot afford to pay towards it so it will be your choice where you eat as you are paying for her meal. No wonder they have gone bankrupt in the past. Don't get me started on leaving you to pick up the bill for your Dads funeral. I have no doubt that you would want to do that for him but where were your brother and mum in helping you sort that out?

    Just make sure you are not the go to for any money issues for them both and I would be inclined to tell them you earnt some babysitting money on top of your normal salary to pay for your mums treat so they are under no illusions that money comes easy to you. You have a large family and a house which needs work.
    Early retired in December 2017

    I'm a Board Guide on the Debt-Free Wannabe, Mortgages and Endowments, Banking and Budgeting boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Any views are mine and not the official line of moneysavingexpert.com. Pease remember, board guides don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
    • efes shareholder
    • By efes shareholder 27th Jun 19, 3:38 PM
    • 562 Posts
    • 1,346 Thanks
    efes shareholder
    I'd be inclined to drop the brother out of the celebration and let him do what he can afford to treat her too

    Mum gets two birthdays then too
    • ohshithowdidthathappen
    • By ohshithowdidthathappen 28th Jun 19, 1:33 PM
    • 141 Posts
    • 414 Thanks
    ohshithowdidthathappen
    I am a bit at the gall of your mum in dictating the choice of venue when she knows it is expensive and of your brother in saying that although he will pay for himself he will not give anything towards your mums meal. I am sorry but I would be tempted to say to her that your brother cannot afford to pay towards it so it will be your choice where you eat as you are paying for her meal. No wonder they have gone bankrupt in the past. Don't get me started on leaving you to pick up the bill for your Dads funeral. I have no doubt that you would want to do that for him but where were your brother and mum in helping you sort that out?

    Just make sure you are not the go to for any money issues for them both and I would be inclined to tell them you earnt some babysitting money on top of your normal salary to pay for your mums treat so they are under no illusions that money comes easy to you. You have a large family and a house which needs work.
    Originally posted by enthusiasticsaver
    I know, I was really upset about my Dad's funeral. Mum was saying she'd only pay for a bare bones funeral, the £1200 ones that usually happen if someone has no friends or family! I said OH and I would top it up so he got a decent send off.... Mum then never gave us the £1200 when I queried it she said she needed it as was skint. She's never worked and the reality of living expenses makes her panic (but not enough to get a job!).
    I think my Mum and brother see us as wealthy, but I'm careful not to get into money lending/giving as it would become the norm. Just means I get stung on occasion when I'm not clever enough to realise it's happening until it's too late!
    Total unsecured debt: £8500/£45393 81% paid.
    Aiming for DFD of 03/21
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