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  • FIRST POST
    • Elinore
    • By Elinore 26th Mar 19, 5:20 AM
    • 221Posts
    • 805Thanks
    Elinore
    Barking mad relatives!
    • #1
    • 26th Mar 19, 5:20 AM
    Barking mad relatives! 26th Mar 19 at 5:20 AM
    I have a family of two sides. My fathers are small loose knit, withdrawn, bookish gentle and reserved. My mothers family is huge, bright, loud, heavily, interconnected and dotty.

    Just a bit of background, just to give an idea of how this all came about - I moved away quite some time ago and live just outside London. I was honoured in my field recently at an awards ceremony and my mother and one of her sisters came down for the event. It never occurred to me that it was the first time any of the family outside of my mother have seen, or known where I live for nigh on 20 years.

    Saturday just gone i am puttering ready for bed and the doorbell goes. open the door to a very young lass, wheelie case with a toddler on her hip.

    Apparently my Aunt, in her infinite wisdom has decided that my 'huge'* house has room for her daughter! didn't ask, didn't check just put the girl on a National Express and let her travel all day to my door. (it's not huge! we just have a spare space which with large families or several generations all living together never happens) which I also happen to have our lovely mon/fri lodger living in!

    The young mum has aspirations for modelling and being close to London is key - Family do these things for the family I was told.

    Following day first thing I drove the wee lass to the train station, paid for a ticket (after buying her lunch and some bits for the babby) and sent her straight back, poor kid.

    Who does that! who?

    I've not heard a peep since! (apart from a message from the poor lass to confirm she was home safe)

    Families!
    Last edited by Elinore; 26-03-2019 at 5:23 AM.
Page 6
    • Silvertabby
    • By Silvertabby 3rd May 19, 1:52 PM
    • 4,374 Posts
    • 6,830 Thanks
    Silvertabby
    Also, just thought...what about the lodger!!!

    You need to make sure they are on your side (not a soft touch) otherwise you could find they've let them in and made them a cup of tea!!!!
    Originally posted by Sea Shell

    I was just about to say the same thing !
    • suejb2
    • By suejb2 3rd May 19, 2:08 PM
    • 1,550 Posts
    • 2,338 Thanks
    suejb2
    Wee lass
    This is by far my favourite thread at the moment. Long may it continue
    Originally posted by breaking_free

    Itís fab isnít it? All the elements of developing into a mini series.
    Life is like a bath, the longer you are in it the more wrinkly you become.
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 3rd May 19, 2:19 PM
    • 9,158 Posts
    • 16,994 Thanks
    calleyw
    This is awful for you. How can so called family put you in this position.


    You need to do the broken record technique. Say no with no further explanation you don't owe them one. Every time its mentioned just say NO and move on to something else. If they keep pushing then say do you know what NO means? If they say yes then say that is my answer on that subject and I won't be discussing this any further with you.


    Personally I would be using stronger language and telling them not to contact you again as you are blocking their number and e-mail.


    I agree about the lodger. And tell them what is going on so they don't let them in if they come when you are not around.


    All the best


    Yours


    Calley x
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • Elinore
    • By Elinore 4th May 19, 11:59 AM
    • 221 Posts
    • 805 Thanks
    Elinore
    Doorbell rang last night and I nearly died lol (its a rare occurrence in these parts)

    Thankfully just a mate dropping in on the of chance I wanted to go see End Game (er, yes!) so I was out all night as it was dinner then the 12 am sitting meaning we were all done at 3 am - so if they did come by they were stuffed.

    though as I mentioned I don't think they meant immediately

    so I didn't get the chance to write a response yesterday - i'll do it later after I've finished in the garden.

    (lodger is away internationally for three weeks, as mentioned previously she spends more time away than in residence so shes pretty much incommunicado - also no spare keys dotted about )

    I'm actually quite thankful for all your comments, you are making it seem more light-hearted than a serious matter and it's keeping me from over thinking and getting stressed (which i am prone to do) - I appreciate it
    Last edited by Elinore; 04-05-2019 at 12:03 PM.
    • supermezzo
    • By supermezzo 4th May 19, 12:06 PM
    • 1,017 Posts
    • 1,246 Thanks
    supermezzo
    Do you have a front gate that you can put a digi-lock on? Stop them being able to actually get to the front door/near the house itself?
    It aint over til I've done singing....
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 4th May 19, 12:47 PM
    • 22,872 Posts
    • 61,857 Thanks
    Pollycat
    Do you have a front gate that you can put a digi-lock on? Stop them being able to actually get to the front door/near the house itself?
    Originally posted by supermezzo

    Or just ask her if she likes your new puppy...


    • Elinore
    • By Elinore 4th May 19, 1:58 PM
    • 221 Posts
    • 805 Thanks
    Elinore
    We are a mews house - so the front door is out into the street the whole row doesn't have a front garden at all

    something like this (but less swish)

    https://everchangingmews.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Stanhope-Mews-South-5-of-7.jpg
    • kerri gt
    • By kerri gt 4th May 19, 2:12 PM
    • 8,023 Posts
    • 53,592 Thanks
    kerri gt
    Or just ask her if she likes your new puppy...


    Originally posted by Pollycat


    And has Aunt not seen the news of a localised outbreak of bubonic plague too? Best she and all family members stay far far away....for a VERY long time...or even better, forever.
    Feb 2015 NSD Challenge 8/12
    JAN NSD 11/16


    • Sea Shell
    • By Sea Shell 4th May 19, 2:51 PM
    • 2,087 Posts
    • 3,600 Thanks
    Sea Shell
    Maybe you need one of those new "Ring" doorbells so you can see who's at the door, even if you're out!!

    I still think a blunt (but still polite at this stage) No, should do the trick,. But your Aunt doesn't seem to have a social filter.
    " That pound I saved yesterday, is a pound I don't have to earn tomorrow " JOB DONE!!
    This should now read "It's time to start digging up those Squirrelled Nuts"!!!
    • getmore4less
    • By getmore4less 4th May 19, 2:56 PM
    • 36,624 Posts
    • 22,555 Thanks
    getmore4less
    Perhaps she needs to go stay with the father if she know who it I, maybe it's her dad...

    Tell them you don't want their little tart anywhere near your hubby.
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 4th May 19, 2:59 PM
    • 22,872 Posts
    • 61,857 Thanks
    Pollycat
    Maybe you need one of those new "Ring" doorbells so you can see who's at the door, even if you're out!!

    I still think a blunt (but still polite at this stage) No, should do the trick,. But your Aunt doesn't seem to have a social filter.
    Originally posted by Sea Shell
    Or maybe the OP should wire up the doorbell to the electricity.

    I think I'm going down a darker path than most posters.
    But I can guarantee that once I've told someone they're not welcome, I don't have to repeat the message.
    • nicechap
    • By nicechap 4th May 19, 3:01 PM
    • 1,774 Posts
    • 3,204 Thanks
    nicechap
    I'm not suggesting your cousin and her baby would do this, but it goes to show you need to be careful who you let live with you.

    https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5995458
    Originally Posted by shortcrust
    "Contact the Ministry of Fairness....If sufficient evidence of unfairness is discovered youíll get an apology, a permanent contract with backdated benefits, a ĎLetís Make it Fair!í tshirt and mug, and those guilty of unfairness will be sent on a Fairness Awareness course."
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 4th May 19, 3:01 PM
    • 22,872 Posts
    • 61,857 Thanks
    Pollycat
    Or maybe the OP should wire up the doorbell to the electricity.

    I think I'm going down a darker path than most posters.
    But I can guarantee that once I've told someone they're not welcome, I don't have to repeat the message.
    Originally posted by Pollycat
    Perhaps she needs to go stay with the father if she know who it I, maybe it's her dad...

    Tell them you don't want their little tart anywhere near your hubby.
    Originally posted by getmore4less

    Or maybe I'm not.
    • ska lover
    • By ska lover 4th May 19, 8:30 PM
    • 3,150 Posts
    • 7,580 Thanks
    ska lover
    Perhaps she needs to go stay with the father if she know who it I, maybe it's her dad...

    Tell them you don't want their little tart anywhere near your hubby.
    Originally posted by getmore4less
    Are you responding to the correct thread?

    Which 'Tart' are you referring to? Whom is the tart?
    The opposite of what you know...is also true
    • chesky
    • By chesky 5th May 19, 7:05 AM
    • 1,173 Posts
    • 2,026 Thanks
    chesky
    "..... so I didn't get the chance to write a response ...... I'll do it later..."

    But you still managed to write on here. STOP PUTTING IT OFF.
    • Silvertabby
    • By Silvertabby 5th May 19, 1:04 PM
    • 4,374 Posts
    • 6,830 Thanks
    Silvertabby
    "..... so I didn't get the chance to write a response ...... I'll do it later..."

    But you still managed to write on here. STOP PUTTING IT OFF.
    Originally posted by chesky

    Yes ! -the longer you leave it, the more auntie will assume that you are considering her proposal.
    • Sea Shell
    • By Sea Shell 5th May 19, 1:21 PM
    • 2,087 Posts
    • 3,600 Thanks
    Sea Shell
    Have you spoken to your mum at all about all this. What does she think?

    Will she take sides? Will she see you as the bad guy, causing a family rift, if you refuse? Or does she think her sister is a bit barking too?
    " That pound I saved yesterday, is a pound I don't have to earn tomorrow " JOB DONE!!
    This should now read "It's time to start digging up those Squirrelled Nuts"!!!
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 5th May 19, 1:26 PM
    • 22,872 Posts
    • 61,857 Thanks
    Pollycat
    Have you spoken to your mum at all about all this. What does she think?

    Will she take sides? Will she see you as the bad guy, causing a family rift, if you refuse? Or does she think her sister is a bit barking too?
    Originally posted by Sea Shell
    From what I recall reading about the OP's Mother, she wouldn't be the first person I'd call on for support.
    • Slinky
    • By Slinky 5th May 19, 2:22 PM
    • 6,072 Posts
    • 28,616 Thanks
    Slinky
    I'm wondering if the wee girl has a great dane and a bag for life....
    • ska lover
    • By ska lover 5th May 19, 4:39 PM
    • 3,150 Posts
    • 7,580 Thanks
    ska lover
    Yes ! -the longer you leave it, the more auntie will assume that you are considering her proposal.
    Originally posted by Silvertabby
    This.

    One of the big things I have learned in life, is to assert myself and to put an immediate end to stuff I do not want to happen / (Or - entirely different thread - someone being rude/horrible to me, or mine)
    The opposite of what you know...is also true
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