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    • Muscle750
    • By Muscle750 9th Jul 17, 8:27 PM
    • 1,069Posts
    • 332Thanks
    Bank of mum and dad
    • #1
    • 9th Jul 17, 8:27 PM
    Bank of mum and dad 9th Jul 17 at 8:27 PM
    We have four grown up kids all left home, throu no fault of her own we went down to just one wage coming in due to ill health for a number of months which as a result ate all or the little we had in savings etc. Weve sailed pretty close to the wind on numerous occasions althou every bill is paid and we have no arrears on anything. Our youngest son borrowed some money now well over 18 months ago and has been always coming up with excuses about paying it back yet has just started. One daughter borrowed some also and has paid back some of it but stopped. Now the other son has asked to borrow some money as they are financially in the dire for a few months althou his wife has been left quite a significant amount of money which she should have by end of September. I can only do what i can do and i remember how my parents helped us out when we were in trouble. What has annoyed me thou is the fact that whilst one owed me money which they still do they managed to find the money for a expensive holiday in the tropics plus money for another expensive item. We cant afford a holiday or even a weekend break now and things will be very tight until the new year.

    This Forum tip was included in's weekly email!
    Last edited by Former MSE Andrea; 19-07-2017 at 9:25 AM.
Page 3
    • Robisere
    • By Robisere 20th Jul 17, 8:07 PM
    • 2,700 Posts
    • 3,636 Thanks
    Reading this again has reminded me of my ex-DIL, who almost ruined the lives of our son and their two children by abuse, neglect, deceit and plain fraud. He eventually got away from her and got Parental Responsibility for the children, set up home and they have been a family for 17 years now.

    One morning, when ds was at work, the dil rang me to say he had given her no money and there was no food in the house. I drove over to their house, picked up dil and kids, gave her 100 and sat in the car with the kids (18 months & 3) while she shopped. She came out with enough bags to warrant some of the 100, although I got no change. I dropped her off at home, left for my son's work. To my everlasting regret, I tore him off a strip, until he stopped me. He had given her 60 that morning before going to work. "She will have bought booze, chocolate, sweets, Chinese and Indian food for herself, dad! She has ripped you off, does it to me all the time!"

    I apologised and went back to their house, which is where I found her in the lounge, having locked the kids in the kitchen. (Apparently a regular ocurrence) There were empty food boxes, vodka with some already gone from the bottle, and she was stuffing chocolate into her face. It was the beginning of the end and eventually the SS were involved, kids taken away after neighbours saw her hitting them.

    Now, I do not by any means compare this with your situation, but that is how easy it is to be ripped off by those close to you.
    I think this job really needs
    a much bigger hammer.
    • Geoff1963
    • By Geoff1963 20th Jul 17, 8:21 PM
    • 1,055 Posts
    • 684 Thanks
    eventually the SS were involved
    For a few seconds, I misinterpreted the abbreviation.
    • Sea Shell
    • By Sea Shell 21st Jul 17, 6:08 AM
    • 1,946 Posts
    • 3,321 Thanks
    Sea Shell
    I'd want a full SoA off of them before I leant them a bean!!!! where IS their money going...really???
    " That pound I saved yesterday, is a pound I don't have to earn tomorrow " JOB DONE!!
    This should now read "It's time to start digging up those Squirrelled Nuts"!!!
    • maman
    • By maman 21st Jul 17, 10:00 AM
    • 19,898 Posts
    • 118,929 Thanks
    yes it did go on food.
    Originally posted by Muscle750

    You've posted responses patiently muscle but although you asked for advice and received it, your situation seems to have got worse rather than improving.

    It must be very difficult to stand by and see your family without enough for food but you'd help them far more by unravelling why they get themselves into such a mess and helping with that instead.

    I fear that as long as you pay up you'll be taken advantage of.

    In your situation I think I'd have given them a meal, a few tins and a very small amount of money for milk, bread.

    It's not the bank of mum and dad that springs to mind but the magic money tree.
    • chesky
    • By chesky 21st Jul 17, 10:40 AM
    • 1,159 Posts
    • 2,000 Thanks
    Ironically I've just had to help out my granddaughter who is a single parent. She (daftly) misunderstood the phrase 'free childcare' given by her LA, so signed up with a childminder so she could go out to work at least part-time. Couple of months down the road, it has dawned on her that the childminder is subsidised but she has to make up the difference (she hadn't read the contract obviously). So i will do this for her but it means she won't be able to work as she was doing more than the 15 hours allowed for and paying what she thought was the difference.
    I'm doing it as a gift, not a loan, as I can afford to and, although dopey, she was willing to work instead of relying totally on benefits, and she's had to give up the job - they've said they'd love her to come back if she can.
    In payment, she's going to be my cleaner - I was going to find one anyway - so she's not getting away Scot-free and she's a good worker.
    AND there will be a serious conversation about reading contracts and understanding what she's getting into in future.
    • Pollycat
    • By Pollycat 19th May 19, 7:48 AM
    • 22,627 Posts
    • 61,211 Thanks
    Re the post above by Robwitho:
    • the website recommended is an Australian based company.

    • The thread is almost 2 years old and the OP hasn't logged on to MSE since February.
    • chesky
    • By chesky 19th May 19, 10:46 PM
    • 1,159 Posts
    • 2,000 Thanks
    Goodness, what a shock reading my old post - above - sad to say (for me) I've lost my cleaner as she's in full-time work now that her son is in school. Hope things worked out as well for the OP.
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