Your browser isn't supported
It looks like you're using an old web browser. To get the most out of the site and to ensure guides display correctly, we suggest upgrading your browser now. Download the latest:

Welcome to the MSE Forums

We're home to a fantastic community of MoneySavers but anyone can post. Please exercise caution & report spam, illegal, offensive or libellous posts/messages: click "report" or email forumteam@.

Search
  • FIRST POST
    • Waves and Smiles
    • By Waves and Smiles 17th Mar 16, 4:23 PM
    • 5,231Posts
    • 22,474Thanks
    Waves and Smiles
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3
    • #1
    • 17th Mar 16, 4:23 PM
    Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3 17th Mar 16 at 4:23 PM
    This thread is a continuation of The Mental Health thread “Here we can all be heard for a little while Part 2”. The previous thread can be found here-

    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5320917&page=501

    I started the original thread when I was lonely and suffering with mental health issues and was lucky to find a wonderful group of amazing new friends who now mean the world to me. My name was Worried and Scared back then but with the help of everyone here I became Waves and Smiles. This thread is no longer just about me, it is about all of us and for anyone who needs mental health support, their carers and anyone who is interested in learning more. Sometimes we speak seriously, sometimes we offer gentle advice and a lot of the time we laugh together. Sometimes I write mini-novels about my experiences of living with complex mental illness. What is important is everyone here is there for each other. New posters are welcome to join in, or just lurk (we call them humming birds because they hover!) if they would prefer. This is a place without judgement or pressure, and a safe place for everyone. We try to keep abbreviations to a minimum but if there are some that you do not understand please ask.

    Sir Pugliet is our Good Mental Health pug! You may notice that he is mentioned from time to time, he is a little cuddly pug toy that was sent to me by a friend on the thread. He is something of a celebrity now!


    Hugs and warm handshakes, or finger squishes, whichever you prefer.

    Also, please take a look at the following links which offer great advice written by the lovely people at MSE!

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/news/family/2016/03/martin-lewis-launches-new-money--mental-health-policy-institute

    http://blog.moneysavingexpert.com/2016/05/16/the-money-and-mental-health-policy-institute-whatll-it-really-do

    http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/credit-cards/mental-health-guide
    Last edited by Waves and Smiles; 17-05-2016 at 9:29 AM.
    Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened - Anatole France

    If I knew that the world would end tomorrow, I would still plant apple trees today - Martin Luther King
Page 556
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 13th May 19, 10:36 PM
    • 9,196 Posts
    • 17,133 Thanks
    calleyw
    Calley - how infuriating about the car! I hope you can track down the person who did it.
    Originally posted by dandy-candy

    Dandy-Candy,


    Thanks but don't think we will. If only the witness had a dash cam. Not enough reg info and the people we thought it was it seems not to have been. Our insurance will go up even if we choose not to claim off our own insurance very annoying.


    This evening I have come to the conclusion that I might have anger and lack of concentration issues. But not sure what is causing them!!!! Or even where to start working on them.


    Everyone get some rest.


    Yours


    Calley x
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 15th May 19, 5:48 PM
    • 1,970 Posts
    • 10,396 Thanks
    dandy-candy
    Thinking of you WaS, I hope WaSp is on the mend
    Last edited by dandy-candy; 15-05-2019 at 5:50 PM.
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 17th May 19, 3:45 PM
    • 1,970 Posts
    • 10,396 Thanks
    dandy-candy
    My DD is going to have her wisdom teeth out on Monday. Our dentist doesn't do extractions and referred her to a clinic I don't know. I thought she would have a preliminary meeting but they've given her an appointment on Monday to remove all 4 teeth in one go. She's never had a filling before, so she's never had a local anaesthetic. I'm very nervous about her have 4 injections (or more if needed) when she's not had one before in case she reacts. I also don't like that we won't have met the dentist before. I googled the surgery and it had lots of bad reviews recently, although they were recommended by my dentist which is excellent so I don't know what to think.
    Also I do worry that four in one go is a bit much, I had mine done two at a time. I'm very anxious as is she. Not sure what to do. I will go with her and tell them she's never had an anaesthetic before. Should I ask that they only do two at a time? What do you think?
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 17th May 19, 6:12 PM
    • 1,970 Posts
    • 10,396 Thanks
    dandy-candy
    Just adding I texted the mum of one of my daughters old school friend who happens to be a dentist. She said she only takes two out at a time on one side so I will ask for this on Monday. I get very nervous about making a fuss, but I'm also really scared of something going wrong if I don't.
    • jobbingmusician
    • By jobbingmusician 17th May 19, 7:58 PM
    • 19,654 Posts
    • 20,477 Thanks
    jobbingmusician
    Yes, I think it's very sensible to do 2 at a time. Discuss your concerns with the dentist - I expect they would stop after 2 if they felt it was enough, anyway. (But if it all goes really smoothly they might want to go on to the 3rd and 4th, as might your daughter as it saves 2 visits, recovery periods etc. etc.) Share your concerns about the fact your daughter has never had anesthetic, as well. (Dentists will be experienced at being first time anesthetists).
    I'm the Board Guide on the Matched Betting; Referrers and Jobseeking & Training boards. I'm a volunteer to help the boards run smoothly, and I can move and merge posts there. Board guides are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com (it's not part of my role to deal with this). Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.

    The good folk of the matched betting board are now (I hope!) supporting Macmillan, in memory of Fifigrace. Visit
    https://www.gofundme.com/running-the-leeds-10k-for-macmillan
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 19th May 19, 6:26 AM
    • 1,970 Posts
    • 10,396 Thanks
    dandy-candy
    DD woke yesterday with a sore throats and runny nose so I cancelled the dental extraction on Monday. I'm really relieved. I have an appointment with our usual dentist on Thursday so I will check with them about how many wisdom teeth should be taken out at a time, and if they've used that surgery before. I won't rebook her appointment until after then.

    It's very quiet here, I'm just prattling on as I need to have somewhere to talk, but I hope everyone else is ok and enjoying the sunny days.

    ((Hugs)) to anyone who needs them.
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 19th May 19, 11:08 AM
    • 9,196 Posts
    • 17,133 Thanks
    calleyw
    Afternoon Everyone,


    Massive hugs, squishes and handshakes today.


    Dandy-candy, Best not to go if feeling unwell. I do dislike the dentist myself. have to go back again in week after next. Did not find I needed a filling. Well why does my tooth hurt when I eat and drink cold on my teeth. I have even been getting jaw pain because I can't eat on that side some days!!!!



    Penguin nothing trigging just personal

    For some unknown reason I suddenly feel so low. Was ok this morning but sat down at my computer and now I want to cry. And realise how much I dislike myself. I want to achieve something in my life. Just feel lost with no direction. Oh well.


    Penguin end


    Enjoy the weather, keep safe and warm and topped up with fluids.


    Yours


    Calley x
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 19th May 19, 5:30 PM
    • 1,970 Posts
    • 10,396 Thanks
    dandy-candy
    Massive ((hugs)) Calley. You've had a lot of work lately being a carer, it can be very draining. Can you treat yourself with something like a cinema trip or nice meal ?
    • jobbingmusician
    • By jobbingmusician 19th May 19, 6:34 PM
    • 19,654 Posts
    • 20,477 Thanks
    jobbingmusician
    Awww Calley - I can really relate to that feeling. Hope you find some direction soon. Do you have any dreams you can build on? xxxx
    I'm the Board Guide on the Matched Betting; Referrers and Jobseeking & Training boards. I'm a volunteer to help the boards run smoothly, and I can move and merge posts there. Board guides are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com (it's not part of my role to deal with this). Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.

    The good folk of the matched betting board are now (I hope!) supporting Macmillan, in memory of Fifigrace. Visit
    https://www.gofundme.com/running-the-leeds-10k-for-macmillan
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 19th May 19, 8:38 PM
    • 9,196 Posts
    • 17,133 Thanks
    calleyw
    Awww Calley - I can really relate to that feeling. Hope you find some direction soon. Do you have any dreams you can build on? xxxx
    Originally posted by jobbingmusician

    I have idea that I have started to work on. Don't want to say to much as it sounds a bit silly when said out loud. Don't worry nothing dodgy honest.


    I had plans when with my husband and it all got swept away in a blink of a eye. if am truthful think the rot set in then and I just can't seem to get motivated to do anything really.


    My partner is amazing he loves me to the ends of the earth and back again. He will never push me to get a job but has said it would be nice if I could get some income to help us out a little bit more. So for holidays and getting the house finished off etc.


    I made a mistake of looking someone I was best friends with on FB. She was hopeless and no direction and now she has responsible job, drives a jag that did not help me either. I am mostly happy with what I have.



    Yours


    Calley x
    Last edited by calleyw; 19-05-2019 at 8:44 PM.
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 19th May 19, 8:40 PM
    • 9,196 Posts
    • 17,133 Thanks
    calleyw
    Massive ((hugs)) Calley. You've had a lot of work lately being a carer, it can be very draining. Can you treat yourself with something like a cinema trip or nice meal ?
    Originally posted by dandy-candy

    Thanks Dandy-candy,


    I do go to the cinema and have meals out with my partner. I just have no mojo any longer. been down so long that it seems to the norm.


    I suffer with anxiety and I rehash stuff from years ago and then panic about it.


    thanks for your concern.


    Yours


    Calley x
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 20th May 19, 8:29 AM
    • 5,138 Posts
    • 4,846 Thanks
    dekaspace
    Had a cough now since Christmas, and since the hot weather got worse, last week was a nightmare and was choking on a few occasions, Im talking actual choking as my throat tightened and I couldn't breathe, since the last 10 days I have had a cough that wont go away, normally it can go a hour or more then flare up and I am almost sick its the worst when say I get up off chair or I get a breeze from a door or window and I cough violently until my throat chokes and I stop. Got a inhaler due to it but it makes me worse as it dries my throat so I can't cough.
    • Izadora
    • By Izadora 20th May 19, 9:22 AM
    • 1,742 Posts
    • 5,636 Thanks
    Izadora
    I made a mistake of looking someone I was best friends with on FB. She was hopeless and no direction and now she has responsible job, drives a jag that did not help me either. I am mostly happy with what I have.
    Originally posted by calleyw
    I remember reading somewhere that FB can make us miserable as we end up comparing everyone else's showreel with our outtakes.

    Also, I know how hard it is sometimes but try to focus on the part I put in bold.

    Is there anything you actually want to do or is it just a general level of dissatisfaction and feeling like should be wanting something else/more?

    If it's the latter then try to remember that there is absolutely nothing wrong with just plodding along and being mostly happy is still much better than a lot of people (even those with seemingly perfect lives) manage.

    Massive hugs to all xx
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 20th May 19, 3:16 PM
    • 9,196 Posts
    • 17,133 Thanks
    calleyw
    I remember reading somewhere that FB can make us miserable as we end up comparing everyone else's showreel with our outtakes.

    Also, I know how hard it is sometimes but try to focus on the part I put in bold.

    Is there anything you actually want to do or is it just a general level of dissatisfaction and feeling like should be wanting something else/more?

    If it's the latter then try to remember that there is absolutely nothing wrong with just plodding along and being mostly happy is still much better than a lot of people (even those with seemingly perfect lives) manage.

    Massive hugs to all xx
    Originally posted by Izadora

    Izadora,


    I know a lot on fb, don't do instagram and the like for some is all about appearances and showing off. Not sure I can explain but hoped by now with less than 4 years before hitting the big 50 to have made a difference and achieved and done more than I have. I don't work so no personal income. I would like to get the house finished but can't even manage to keep it tidy.


    I see everyday as a struggle and just getting to the end of it some days is all I achieve.


    As I said lost my way and my mojo a long time ago. I am happy 90% of the time. But that 10% of I could achieved more niggles me. I am sacred of going back in work. I can't even make decisions. I would like a new fitness tracker but can I choose one umm nope. And that then makes me feel pathetic and useless and then the cycle starts all over again.


    Yours


    Calley x
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • dandy-candy
    • By dandy-candy 21st May 19, 6:15 AM
    • 1,970 Posts
    • 10,396 Thanks
    dandy-candy
    Calley - I'm 46 and haven't worked since my first pregnancy at 18. I dread any social situations where people ask “What do you do?” and i have to say im a housewife. Part of me would love a job to get me out of the house but i dont know who would give me one with no skills or experience, and mental i dont think i could handle it right now.

    Literally my whole life i always wanted to be a writer, and two weeks ago i finally sat down and wrote my first pages. I havent written since because i was worried it was too rambling, but ive decided now just to write the damn thing even if i never show it to anyone. My dh keeps saying he wants me to be the next JK Rowling so he can retire - no pressure then!

    I think trying to get better can in itself be a full time job. I know there are things i can do that help a lot, like get out of doors more and eating healthier, i just need to learn to be kinder to myself and stop feeling a failure when my anxiety messes the good intention up. My housework too has gone to pot lately, and ive lived in this house for 3 years and still havent hung the pictures on the walls or settled on room layouts. But really those things arent as important as taking care of yourself. Somedays i set a little task, like to go through the tins and check the expiry dates, and if i can do it then thats something to be pleased about. For me its about little achievements right now.

    ((Hugs)) to you Calley, you always take time to reply to my posts when im feeling down and i really appreciate that. You are an important person to me
    .
    • calleyw
    • By calleyw 21st May 19, 7:08 AM
    • 9,196 Posts
    • 17,133 Thanks
    calleyw
    Dandy-candy,

    Thanks for the hugs and your kind words. And you have been doing something bringing up children so not like me sat on my fat behind all day getting nothing done.

    Snap I am 46 . I have not worked for the last 4 years. I let the wrong person in to my life and that was what did for me. I have always had issues but managed them as best as I could and got by. And never really liked myself. But just can't get past it at the moment.

    I am tired of feeling like this and want to be "normal" I know there is no such thing as normal but you know what my mean. Just fed of being me.


    My family don't help. My partner has just had another birthday and guess what no card from any of my family. But when I was about day late last year for my mums. I knew the date but messed it up in my head, I got a sarky comment from my dad about it. Wished I said well my partner has been waiting 5 months so far his. Its my SIL birthday in the next week. Might just not bother. I even said oh its my partners birthday just before my SIL's!!! to my mum the other day. He does not mind as birthdays are not a big for him. but for me its like a smack in the face of my choice of life partner.

    I have been here since 2004 and hardly done anything. Need new flooring everywhere. Still two rooms untouched for decorating and the garden needs sorting. Sadly my partner does not have DIY skills. Love him to bits but not practical in anyway. And just too much stuff and add in a dog.

    I am in grump this morning not helped by not getting to bed before 1am and not getting to sleep until gone 2am.

    Need to get up as have to take the car around to the garage for a service.

    Everyone take care. if its sunny where you are keep in the shade and drink plenty of fluids.


    I do apologise for such a moany, selfish, me me me post today.


    Yours

    Calley x
    Last edited by calleyw; 21-05-2019 at 7:10 AM.
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
    • Solarjunkie
    • By Solarjunkie 21st May 19, 8:10 AM
    • 365 Posts
    • 1,332 Thanks
    Solarjunkie
    Dandy~Candy
    Reply to "what do you do?"
    "I have made the choice to be at home with my children, I think that's so important, don't you?"
    Don't apologise for doing that incredibly important job. Just because you don't get a salary doesn't make it any less. Once you have stated it's a choice, instead of making it sound like it just happened, then you own it, girl!

    I went to a Women's Returners course some years ago, people there had not been in paid work for between 5 and 25 years. The first thing the facilitator did was to make us realise what we had been doing while being "just a housewife". The list was incredibly long and included cook, gardener, nurse, bookkeeper, hairdresser, driver, decorator, cleaner, launderer, counsellor, dressmaker and plenty of others. It really opened the eyes of some of the women who had low self esteem and they all renamed themselves, correctly

    Homemakers.

    Calley and anyone else beating themselves up for not doing things, how about patting yourself on the back for what you have done? Start looking at what you are doing, maybe even writing it down, I think you'll find the list is pretty long. You may think "I make sure there's always a spare roll of toilet paper" is pretty trivial, until you realise what happens when you don't! You don't give yourselves the credit you deserve.

    I had a wonderful moment yesterday, a flower I have never seen before appeared on the lawn, a shining white star. I have found it is called Star of Bethlehem, and OH has promised to mow around it.

    I hope everyone sees something beautiful today. Tell you what guys, please add "Today I saw this beautiful thing" to the thread.
    Deal with things as they are, not as they should be.
    • heartbreak_star
    • By heartbreak_star 21st May 19, 8:25 AM
    • 8,038 Posts
    • 17,884 Thanks
    heartbreak_star
    Today I woke up to my lovely old dog booping my nose with her nose. She's not been well so for her to perch herself up on the bed to do that was so beautiful to me

    HBS x
    "I believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another."

    "It's easy to know what you're against, quite another to know what you're for."

    #Starmer4PM #Bremainer
    • mellymoo74
    • By mellymoo74 21st May 19, 10:44 AM
    • 6,152 Posts
    • 14,425 Thanks
    mellymoo74
    Yay HBS dog kisses are the best.

    Cal you said something wise to me last night about how ex had to mourn the life he will ever have, I think you do too. Ps I love you, you know this.

    In other news I have now been moving house for 3 weeks as its just me, on my own it's taking quite a long time. Housing are charging me double rent
    • dekaspace
    • By dekaspace 21st May 19, 12:07 PM
    • 5,138 Posts
    • 4,846 Thanks
    dekaspace
    My cough was so bad this morning I threw up a little and was 10 minutes late for work, though that seems to have helped. I am on my 2nd set of antibiotics and my cough hasn't gone away in fact overall seems worse.

    At least at monthly work feedback was told I was excellent and talked about my future with company in a positive way.
Welcome to our new Forum!

Our aim is to save you money quickly and easily. We hope you like it!

Forum Team Contact us

Live Stats

1,124Posts Today

6,518Users online

Martin's Twitter