Joint Possesions in Deceased Wifes House

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  • Silvertabby
    Silvertabby Posts: 8,971
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    RunnerB wrote: »
    Thanks again everyone. Even if the will is invalid the children will get the house, it is there's and it is what their Mum wanted I am not going to go against her wishes for no one, but I have to admit a little bit of me would love to show the adults of the family that I am better than they think and not out to line my out pocket (I loved their daughter / sister and I am only in this position because of that love). The same has happened with her pension (not covered in the Will), I could have made a claim on it but I haven't it is all going to her Children as per her wishes.


    As has been pointed out what I bought and what was bought together is mine so I now know where I stand, all I want is to be left alone until I move and I will leave what isn't mine in the house when I go. I don't want to negotiate, I really don't want to have the hassle of trying.


    The children will still get birthday / christmas cards & presents sent to them going forward and they will have my phone number so if they ever feel the need to reach out they can.


    Cheers everyone.

    That may be the case with one off lump sums, but do any of the pension schemes pay a widower's pension for life? If so, this can't be paid to the children instead of you.

    My sympathies. You are clearly a special guy who deserves better from your in-laws, even if they are grieving.
  • konark
    konark Posts: 1,260 Forumite
    It is very difficult to disinherit a spouse in a will, even if you do so explicitly. Under the Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act 1975, it is not possible to write a will that prevents your spouse from receiving “reasonable financial provision” after your death


    .Well, OK, you could write it but it would be liable to challenge. 12 months free use of a house you had already pumped 6 grand into is not an over-generous settlement, so you could probably successfully challenge the will even if it is deemed to be valid.


    That would be one in the eye for your in-laws.
  • RunnerB
    RunnerB Posts: 11
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    @ konark; I am trying to prove that I am not the person the in-laws think I am and by challenging the Will I would be that person. My wife's wishes will be followed it's the least I can do in her memory (even if the Will is invalid and is kicked out in Probate, at this point I will divide the estate as per her wishes). Yes I'm out of pocket but I spent that money willingly to build a future with her but unfortunatly that has been taken away from me.


    I only wanted to make sure that I wouldn't have to replace everything that I went in to the relationship with and I am not so all good. Cheers.
  • Sea_Shell
    Sea_Shell Posts: 9,272
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    How old are you RunnerB? I can see why you want to do things "as she would have wanted", but please don't shoot yourself in the foot in the process.

    Are you financially comfortable to be able to make this offer, if it comes to it...where will you live? What if, later in life, you could REALLY use that money.
    How's it going, AKA, Nutwatch? - 12 month spends to date = 2.47% of current retirement "pot" (as at end February 2024)
  • RunnerB
    RunnerB Posts: 11
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    I was only with her less than 3 years so it would not be right for me to benefit from her death regardless of my age or financial circustances. It's a morality call I guess and my moral compass won't let me do anything other than what she wished for. She has left me a small sum of money that will just clear a loan we took out together which will be a big help, it is all I asked of her.
  • SevenOfNine
    SevenOfNine Posts: 2,355
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    RunnerB wrote: »
    I was only with her less than 3 years so it would not be right for me to benefit from her death regardless of my age or financial circustances. It's a morality call I guess and my moral compass won't let me do anything other than what she wished for. She has left me a small sum of money that will just clear a loan we took out together which will be a big help, it is all I asked of her.

    I'm so thankful to read your attitude to all this. Some of these responses sum up everything that is WRONG when looking at inheritance & beneficiaries.

    Your wife's children have lost their mother, she died thinking she had left them financially provided for, & tried to take care of you as well. Your father-in-law is determined to make life difficult for you, but that's not an excuse for suggestions which will shaft the children!

    I still agree with YM99's suggestion that you check the codicil is in order, if it isn't then that can be used purely as a way to reign in the FiL from continuing his callous behaviour, & encourage him to work WITH you in a more considerate manner, everyone is grieving. Then together you can agree on the best legal way forward to completely safeguard the children's future - just as your wife, his daughter, wanted. It's a shame you need ammunition.

    You're clearly not trying to take everything for yourself, or even safeguard your own financial future, you just want your own items, a few of the shared ones, maybe a few of hers, & she's left you enough to pay off the loan. If you need money much further down the line, you're clearly well aware that you can, & should, earn it yourself. You have no expectation of taking what should rightly be for her children.

    If the codicil is in order, then it's very sad that FiL, & others from her family, can't find it in themselves to have a discussion with you because only then will they realise that you DO have an extremely accurate moral compass, & THEY need to re-evaluate their attitude. Is there anyone at all from your wife's side of the family (or even a friend) who can help mediate?

    Death of a loved one really does bring out the worst in so many family members, bowled over by greed half the time.
    Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
  • Sea_Shell
    Sea_Shell Posts: 9,272
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    Not aimed at OP, but for others who may face similar dilemmas...

    Under the right circumstances though, it wouldn't stop the Local Authority screaming "Deprivation of Assets".

    If money's are legally due to you and you give them away, they won't care "why" you did what you did.
    How's it going, AKA, Nutwatch? - 12 month spends to date = 2.47% of current retirement "pot" (as at end February 2024)
  • SevenOfNine
    SevenOfNine Posts: 2,355
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    Sea_Shell wrote: »
    Not aimed at OP, but for others who may face similar dilemmas...

    Under the right circumstances though, it wouldn't stop the Local Authority screaming "Deprivation of Assets".

    If money's are legally due to you and you give them away, they won't care "why" you did what you did.

    Fit & healthy, NOT on benefits, & giving away assets that leave NO dent in the standard of living, or ability to support oneself now & in the foreseeable future, are not & never have been classed as "deprivation of assets".
    Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
  • Sea_Shell
    Sea_Shell Posts: 9,272
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    Fit & healthy, NOT on benefits, & giving away assets that leave NO dent in the standard of living, or ability to support oneself now & in the foreseeable future, are not & never have been classed as "deprivation of assets".

    That's why I said "under the right circumstances". Someone may find themselves in a similar situation to OP where they are NOT fit and healthy, they ARE on benefits, and they will struggle to support themselves going forwards. They need to be aware that giving the money away because its the "moral" thing to do, MAY shoot themselves in the foot and fall foul of the DofA rules.
    How's it going, AKA, Nutwatch? - 12 month spends to date = 2.47% of current retirement "pot" (as at end February 2024)
  • SevenOfNine
    SevenOfNine Posts: 2,355
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    Sea_Shell wrote: »
    That's why I said "under the right circumstances". Someone may find themselves in a similar situation to OP where they are NOT fit and healthy, they ARE on benefits, and they will struggle to support themselves going forwards. They need to be aware that giving the money away because its the "moral" thing to do, MAY shoot themselves in the foot and fall foul of the DofA rules.

    If that's the case they would be in completely different circumstances to the OP and, rather than totally muddy the water of this thread, they'd quite quickly be advised to START THEIR OWN!
    Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
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