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  • FIRST POST
    • LameWolf
    • By LameWolf 14th Jan 09, 3:22 AM
    • 10,985Posts
    • 120,685Thanks
    LameWolf
    Black Dog of Depression - can we help each other?
    • #1
    • 14th Jan 09, 3:22 AM
    Black Dog of Depression - can we help each other? 14th Jan 09 at 3:22 AM
    Hello Friends

    It's silly o'clock as I type this, but I've been lying in bed unable to sleep, and it occurs to me that there's not a Depression thread yet.

    I think those of us who suffer this can help each other. I'd like to think so, anyway; I do know that, as a MoneySaving forum, it is relevant for those of us who go a bit OTT with the spending when the Black Dog has us. I know I do - I spend far and away too much on alcohol.

    Depression is as much a disability as the physical stuff (of which I do have some also, I have lupus) but it is so sad that it is seen as something you can "pull yourself together" from. Etc, etc. If you've read this far, you know that it doesn't work that way.

    OK, to get to the point..... I have had severe depression from very early in life (diagnosed at the age of 12, I have been on various anti-d's for the last 37 years) and I'd like to offer a "paw" of friendship to others in the jaws of the Black Dog.

    I can't, obviously, wave a magic wand and solve all your problems, but I do think that we can perhaps share coping strategies, and maybe provide some mutual support.
    LameWolf
    If your dog thinks you're the best, don't seek a second opinion.
Page 87
  • absolutebounder
    I'm not so good today, my oldest and last remaining friend really upset me last night and to make it worse I don't think she even noticed. Me being as pathetic as I am didn't say anything to her.
    Originally posted by sandy71
    If she didnt notice she probably didnt mean to upset you. perhaps it is not worth losing a friend over something that wasnt meant. have a chat with her and maybe tell her you were upset. it might just be you got the wrong end of the stick and can carry on being friends.
  • sandy71
    If she didnt notice she probably didnt mean to upset you. perhaps it is not worth losing a friend over something that wasnt meant. have a chat with her and maybe tell her you were upset. it might just be you got the wrong end of the stick and can carry on being friends.
    Originally posted by absolutebounder
    I'm not planning on falling out with her, we have been friends too long and she is my kids Godmother, and I am to her kids. It's just she made a really big deal about me helping to choose her wedding dress as I have had such a rough year and she really valued my opinion and couldn't imagine doing it with anyone else.
    She turned up yesterday and proceeded to tell me how she had been shopping for dresses with another friend of hers and bought one.
    She has also decided not to invite us to the wedding just the reception.

    Now my sensible brain says its silly to get upset about it but my scrambled brain says she isn't actually a friend so just be cool with her.
    Like I said I am being pathetic but thats just me at the moment.
    • Sugar Coated Owl
    • By Sugar Coated Owl 17th Jan 10, 12:57 PM
    • 11,599 Posts
    • 21,081 Thanks
    Sugar Coated Owl
    Sorry to hear that Sandy. What AB has suggested seems like a good idea.

    I hope they find some meds that work for you soon.
    --><-- Sugar Coated Owl --><--

    If you believe, you will survive - Katie Piper

    Woohoo! I'm normal! Gotta go tell the cat.
    • dexterlivi
    • By dexterlivi 17th Jan 10, 12:58 PM
    • 63 Posts
    • 9 Thanks
    dexterlivi
    Hi

    In your comment you mention fibro? Can you clarify

    Thanks
    • Sugar Coated Owl
    • By Sugar Coated Owl 17th Jan 10, 1:03 PM
    • 11,599 Posts
    • 21,081 Thanks
    Sugar Coated Owl
    Sandy, If it were me I would have been upset too I think I'd probably let her know I was upset.
    --><-- Sugar Coated Owl --><--

    If you believe, you will survive - Katie Piper

    Woohoo! I'm normal! Gotta go tell the cat.
  • absolutebounder
    I'm not planning on falling out with her, we have been friends too long and she is my kids Godmother, and I am to her kids. It's just she made a really big deal about me helping to choose her wedding dress as I have had such a rough year and she really valued my opinion and couldn't imagine doing it with anyone else.
    She turned up yesterday and proceeded to tell me how she had been shopping for dresses with another friend of hers and bought one.
    She has also decided not to invite us to the wedding just the reception.

    Now my sensible brain says its silly to get upset about it but my scrambled brain says she isn't actually a friend so just be cool with her.
    Like I said I am being pathetic but thats just me at the moment.
    Originally posted by sandy71
    I dont think you are being silly. you cant help being upset by some things. In some ways I think I might be a little upset too. If she is just having a small wedding then maybe her actions are not too bad on the other hand if its a big affair then something would seem wrong. Weddings do make people act strange for a number of reasons. my best man (and best friend) didnt even invite me to his wedding but as I am boogered if I can remember why I am not bothered.. ( I might have been away) A friendship is more important.
    You cant alter what has happened so it is not worth beating yourself up over it.
  • sandy71
    Sandy, If it were me I would have been upset too I think I'd probably let her know I was upset.
    Originally posted by razorbladekisses

    I'm just to weak and cowardly thats why people walk all over me.
  • sandy71
    I dont think you are being silly. you cant help being upset by some things. In some ways I think I might be a little upset too. If she is just having a small wedding then maybe her actions are not too bad on the other hand if its a big affair then something would seem wrong. Weddings do make people act strange for a number of reasons. my best man (and best friend) didnt even invite me to his wedding but as I am boogered if I can remember why I am not bothered.. ( I might have been away) A friendship is more important.
    You cant alter what has happened so it is not worth beating yourself up over it.
    Originally posted by absolutebounder
    I know you are right and I will get over it, I'm just upset right now. It is only a small wedding but she is inviting people who she does nothing but moan about when we are together. It makes me wonder what she says about me. She was my chief bridesmaid as well.
  • absolutebounder
    I know you are right and I will get over it, I'm just upset right now. It is only a small wedding but she is inviting people who she does nothing but moan about when we are together. It makes me wonder what she says about me. She was my chief bridesmaid as well.
    Originally posted by sandy71
    My wedding was full of people I do nothing but moan about. they are called relatives and the other halfs friends
  • sandy71
    My wedding was full of people I do nothing but moan about. they are called relatives and the other halfs friends
    Originally posted by absolutebounder
    My other half relatives didn't come to our wedding (Long story!) so that made it easier.
    It just hurts and when I am feeling like I am it was like a kick in the teeth. I tried talking to my hubby but he just said that must be a woman thing cos it wouldn't bother me. :rolleyes:
    • pipkin71
    • By pipkin71 17th Jan 10, 1:33 PM
    • 19,360 Posts
    • 87,170 Thanks
    pipkin71
    Hi rbk.

    How are you doing today? Hope you're ok

    I'm not in as much pain as yesterday. The out of hours doc suggested increasing the morphine, which has helped. It's still there but at least I'm not crying now.

    One of the side effects though, is I feel quite drowsy, but not enough to sleep.

    I have to make an appointment with my own GP to discuss medication and I've got a hospital appointment on the 28th, so hopefully the pain can be sorted

    How have you been getting on at home?
    There is something delicious about writing the first words of a story. You never quite know where they'll take you - Beatrix Potter
    • pipkin71
    • By pipkin71 17th Jan 10, 1:37 PM
    • 19,360 Posts
    • 87,170 Thanks
    pipkin71
    I'm not planning on falling out with her, we have been friends too long and she is my kids Godmother, and I am to her kids. It's just she made a really big deal about me helping to choose her wedding dress as I have had such a rough year and she really valued my opinion and couldn't imagine doing it with anyone else.
    She turned up yesterday and proceeded to tell me how she had been shopping for dresses with another friend of hers and bought one.
    She has also decided not to invite us to the wedding just the reception.

    Now my sensible brain says its silly to get upset about it but my scrambled brain says she isn't actually a friend so just be cool with her.
    Like I said I am being pathetic but thats just me at the moment.
    Originally posted by sandy71
    I don't think you're being silly, sandy and can understand why you would be upset.

    You have been friends for a while though, so hopefully you can speak to her about this. Did she say why she hadn't invited you to the wedding? Is it at a registry office? They can only have so many guests there, depending on the size of the place, and if she's got a big family, then maybe she was trying to please relatives by making sure they were invited.
    There is something delicious about writing the first words of a story. You never quite know where they'll take you - Beatrix Potter
  • sandy71
    Pipkin, Glad your pain isn't as bad, I hope your doctor can sort it out for you.

    The wedding is in a registry office but she has already told me she isn't inviting some relatives so she can invite the friends she does nothing but moan about. :rolleyes: She never mentioned why we weren't invited she just said I meant to bring your invite to the reception but forgot. Will see if it arrives now.
    I will just have to get over it and move on. Why is my life such a drama at the moment:confused:
  • feelinggood
    I find the lack of invitations does trouble me, but I try not to dwell on it. Unfortunately I parent in a very 'odd' way (according to most!) and I've yet to find any 'Mummy Friends' in real life who I gel with. I did invite all the NCT Ladies to my house, but all refused. That was hard to rationalise!

    Pipkin, hope the pain is sorted soon. It isn't something I've had to deal with in the past, but I've got residual back/pelvis pain from pregnancy. I'm limited with what I can take because of the breastfeeding and limited to what I can do because of the agoraphobia.

    I should hopefully hear from PALS guy tomorrow to see if I can get a new Care-Coordinator. Also need to dig out my prescription exemption certificate. Care-corindator promised she'd help me sort out getting things ordered and delivered, but she didn't, so I did it myself and I'm quite pleased!
    • pipkin71
    • By pipkin71 17th Jan 10, 1:48 PM
    • 19,360 Posts
    • 87,170 Thanks
    pipkin71
    Pipkin, Glad your pain isn't as bad, I hope your doctor can sort it out for you.

    The wedding is in a registry office but she has already told me she isn't inviting some relatives so she can invite the friends she does nothing but moan about. :rolleyes: She never mentioned why we weren't invited she just said I meant to bring your invite to the reception but forgot. Will see if it arrives now.
    I will just have to get over it and move on. Why is my life such a drama at the moment:confused:
    Originally posted by sandy71
    Maybe the wedding itself doesn't need an invite? Maybe she just assumed you knew you were going to the wedding? :confused:

    I do hope you can get over it. It may take a while because you will keep thinking about things. Try and talk to your friend, see where you stand
    There is something delicious about writing the first words of a story. You never quite know where they'll take you - Beatrix Potter
  • sandy71
    Maybe the wedding itself doesn't need an invite? Maybe she just assumed you knew you were going to the wedding? :confused:

    I do hope you can get over it. It may take a while because you will keep thinking about things. Try and talk to your friend, see where you stand
    Originally posted by pipkin71
    No we definitely are not invited to the wedding, they are getting married in the morning but she told me hubby would need to take the afternoon off work because the reception starts at 2.

    FG I tried the NCT as well but they were all like the Stepford wives round here They scared me!
    How can you parent in an odd way, we all do it differently:confused:
    Fingers crossed PALS can help you.
  • crazy_girl
    Hi RBK, how are you feeling, better I hope.

    I'm not so good today, my oldest and last remaining friend really upset me last night and to make it worse I don't think she even noticed. Me being as pathetic as I am didn't say anything to her.
    New meds are ok, they seem to be controlling the big seizures a bit more but the smaller ones are getting worse.

    I am so fed up with everything at the moment.

    Hope everyone else is ok. x
    Originally posted by sandy71
    aw no what happened? im sure she didnt mean it.
  • crazy_girl
    Sandy, If it were me I would have been upset too I think I'd probably let her know I was upset.
    Originally posted by razorbladekisses
    ive just read what happened and i agree, id be well upset in that situation. i think you should let her know so its not in your head going round and round.
  • crazy_girl
    Hi rbk.

    How are you doing today? Hope you're ok

    I'm not in as much pain as yesterday. The out of hours doc suggested increasing the morphine, which has helped. It's still there but at least I'm not crying now.
    Originally posted by pipkin71
    glad to 'hear' that
  • crazy_girl
    how are you rbk?
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