How to "switch off" brain regarding house sale

hayabslee0 · 18 June 2018 at 12:38PM

We're in the process of selling our house and relocating to the other end of the country. As with every sale, so far, it's not been a smooth process and we're well aware anything can go wrong.

However, the whole issue has taken over my life. It's all I think about, pretty much 24 hours a day: what could go wrong? When could we exchange? Will will apply for school place in time?...are just a few of the things that go round in my head CONSTANTLY. To the point I'm waking up at night worrying. I've got a constant headache from the stress, and I feel like we've put our live's on hold (not going on holiday, not spending money on things for our house and more recently, the garden).

I need to find a way to switch off....for at least a couple of weeks. Am I the only one feeling like this?

moneyistooshorttomention · 18 June 2018 at 1:06PM

I moved from one area of the country to the other and I decided the best bet was to "live as fully as possible - for as long as possible" in the area I've come from (ie my home area) and only think about area-to-be (ie current area) just enough to "do the necessary" to move here.

The way I looked at it was that I'd be going to "Away from friends/parents and to a lot less facilities" - so I did what I could to catch up with friends/parents whilst there, buy everything I thought I might have more difficulty buying where I was going and eat out like mad at restaurants/cafes".

If I'm ever financially able to move back again in the opposite direction - I'll probably spend time catching up on "nature" areas here (ie as there are many more people trying to use them at the same time back there and it does spoil things a bit) and start googling for new restaurants back there and making out my shopping list.

moneyistooshorttomention · 18 June 2018 at 1:20PM

Don't forget the emotional side of "making the best of things" wherever you are currently.

In my case the choice is between:
- Home area (ie where I've come from) - worry myself that I'll be enjoying a bit of "green land/countryside" and some home-owner of said green land or developer has got their eyes on it and it won't be there much longer:(:mad:

or

- Current area (ie where I live now) where green area/countryside is much safer from development - but I'm still trying to learn to look over my shoulder before I express a perfectly standard/normal opinion the vast majority of people will agree with - as I might get "belted" for it here

...and make the best of whichever scenario you have where you are currently - as it might well change drastically (for better in some ways/for worse in others) where you're going to.

hayabslee0 · 18 June 2018 at 1:31PM

I think one of my main issues is that I've lost all family in my current location and have got to a point where I hate living here and cannot wait to move. I also worry that my kids are getting older and the longer it takes to move, the more time I'm wasting.

This time last year, we started to think about moving...once we made the decision to do it, I've wanted nothing more...I feel like this move is "needed" more than "wanted" for multiple reasons. I've started to resent where we live now all because of how badly I want to move. In some ways, with the stress I've felt in going through all this, I wish we'd never thought of the idea!

SG27 · 18 June 2018 at 2:04PM

hayabslee0 wrote: »

We're in the process of selling our house and relocating to the other end of the country. As with every sale, so far, it's not been a smooth process and we're well aware anything can go wrong.

However, the whole issue has taken over my life. It's all I think about, pretty much 24 hours a day: what could go wrong? When could we exchange? Will will apply for school place in time?...are just a few of the things that go round in my head CONSTANTLY. To the point I'm waking up at night worrying. I've got a constant headache from the stress, and I feel like we've put our live's on hold (not going on holiday, not spending money on things for our house and more recently, the garden).

I need to find a way to switch off....for at least a couple of weeks. Am I the only one feeling like this?

Haha you have just described me! Im not sure there is anything you can do, being busy helps. Try to think positive things not the what ifs and what could go wrong!

IvyFlood · 18 June 2018 at 4:09PM

hayabslee0 wrote: »

We're in the process of selling our house and relocating to the other end of the country. As with every sale, so far, it's not been a smooth process and we're well aware anything can go wrong.

However, the whole issue has taken over my life. It's all I think about, pretty much 24 hours a day: what could go wrong? When could we exchange? Will will apply for school place in time?...are just a few of the things that go round in my head CONSTANTLY. To the point I'm waking up at night worrying. I've got a constant headache from the stress, and I feel like we've put our live's on hold (not going on holiday, not spending money on things for our house and more recently, the garden).

I need to find a way to switch off....for at least a couple of weeks. Am I the only one feeling like this?

I totally sympathise! We are buying our first house and we already had one go wrong when my partner lost his job and we had to pull out. Second time around and I'm so paranoid and a nervous wreck that I've started to go grey! I don't want to even think about planning anything or envisaging in case I'm tempting fate - its awful! It sounds like you have children to keep you occupied? - We don't! I just try to keep busy and think positively and console myself with the fact that buying/selling a house isn't an easy process - for anyone, but people do it often enough and are successful. I'd also recommend still living and spending a bit of money. I'm not talking going on holiday or anything excessive but just so you can still enjoy yourself to take your mind of it.

I really hope it all works out for you - for us all!

todayisagreatday · 18 June 2018 at 4:19PM

Almost three years it took us, buying and selling took over our lives. I look back having finally moved at Easter and it seems our only memories of previous years were going to look at houses or doing viewings to sell our house! If it wasn't either of those things it was cleaning, gardening etc in preparation for viewings, dealing with mortgage/solicitors when we sold/bought/fell through/collapsed..... Then as exchange and completion got closer I found myself scrutinising everything in the reports convincing myself something must be wrong, or that the day before the house would collapse, burn down etc.

At the weekend in our new (not new, everything is broken/falling apart) home we were discussing it and said we had both almost forgot what life was like before we finished this whole process!

Life seems decidedly boring now ;-)

I'm joking!

cloo · 18 June 2018 at 4:28PM

I have totally been there... just remind yourself, every time it invades your head 'Worry won't help, worry won't help'. It can take a little while to work, but it does. Worrying won't change anything, if this worst happens, all it means is that you've re-lived the worst multiple times in your head!

Good luck.

Smodlet · 18 June 2018 at 4:29PM

Distraction. If you can't do anything more than you have already done to improve or progress your situation at this point, do something completely different. There are loads of suggestions on this forum for free/cheap days out. Try the Old Style Money Saving board, perhaps, and go from there.

Another way to forget, albeit temporarily, your own problems is to focus on other people's. This is a great place for that. There must be someone on one board or another needing advice about something you know about. Why not go looking?

If you don't already, you could consider making a little money online to distract yourself; again, this is a great place for ideas - the Boost Your Income Board. If you decide to join up to Prolific Academic and wanted to use my referral code, I would not mind

They provide a portal for academic researchers to post surveys. Most are run of the mill but occasionally you get an interesting, fun or downright difficult study that requires all your concentration, plus pays you a little fee. HTH.

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How to "switch off" brain regarding house sale

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