She doesn't want to sell the flat!

couple of things: you can go to Relate on your own, and some people find that quite helpful in crystallising things. The other is that it takes two to argue, and if you can walk away when one starts, that might help.

I'm afraid I have no idea about the recording idea.

With regards to your flat, I’m going to hazard a guess and say you live in London or down South with those deposit amounts.

1. Does your ex still work?
2. What is her annual salary?
3. What are the prices of 1 or 2 bed flats in your area?
4. Can your ex move back into her parents home with your child?
5. Would your ex consider moving to a cheaper area far away? (ie she may have brothers/sisters living in different parts of the country which would be cheaper to buy in)
6. On your annual salary alone, would you be able to afford to buy a 1 bed flat on your own? Or would you have to move back with parents until you’ve saved enough?
7. When you took the mortgage out, and this is very important, are you ‘joint tenants’ or ‘tenants in common’?https://www.which.co.uk/money/mortgages-and-property/first-time-buyers/guides/buying-a-home/tenants-in-common-vs-joint-tenancy
8. Did you have a declaration of trust deed in place which would have spelt out the different deposit amounts and how equity would be split into what percentage on event of sale of the property?

Given the shame of being divorced in Muslim culture and on top of that having a child as well, no wonder your ex is playing dirty because she probably fears that her life is over. Still, that’s no excuse for lying about domestic violence. You need to speak to a solicitor ASAP once you have more info about your mortgage as above and be prepared for a lengthy, expensive court battle. Your ex is not going to make this easy for you.

Samyusef - I'd advise against the recording.

Sorry if I'm coming across as a bit frantic but I did some googling and was shocked to learn that a man has pretty much no protection from the law if someone accuses him of domestic violence. Many men have actually said that it was cheaper to just plead guilty and take the sentence than to actually hire a lawyer which will most likely be of no use.

Bluntly, this is total b****acks.

In terms of domestic violence, you have a very odd idea of the law. Domestic convictions, like convictions for rape, are actually pretty difficult to get as it is hard to get proof to the required criminal standard.

Police may advise someone (male or female) accused of abusive behaviour to leave, at least temporarily, to prevent escalation, and to protect both parties - the victim, if the allegations are true, and the person accused, if they are not. Do bear in mind that very few abusers are willing to admit that their behaviour is abusive.

Also, if your partner is making allegations against you and you are sure the marriage is over, consider whether moving out, at least temporarily, would be in your best interests. It ill decrease the tension, (which is likely to benefit your child), make it harder for your partner to convince herself, or others, that the relationship is still a positive one, and will also allow each of you to tart to consider your financial position and whether either of you can afford to stay in the flat.

Go and see a solicitor, get some advice, including advice about how best to protect yourself.

When a relationship fails, you then have TWO households to maintain, so costs double.

Obviously it is not feasible for you to pay an entire mortgage and rent elsewhere too, as well as paying child maintenance.

You need to TALK to your girlfriend (thankfully she is not your wife, as this would complicate matters), and if you cannot communicate effectively, then you need to pay for a mediator so that you can come to an agreement.

Worse case scenario you either tell your partner that the house needs to be sold, OR... she gets a full time job to pay the mortgage. You will then be entitled to a percentage of the equity once the house is sold when your child is 18.

(technically, as she is not your wife, you can ask for half the mortgage repayments paid so far...)

You might need to make it clear that if she doesn't choose one of these two options, then worst case scenario you will just stop paying the mortgage and the flat will be repossessed. Obviously this will screw up your credit rating.

Odd question, but what attracted the two of you together in the first place?

I suspect that the OPs biggest problem is going to turn out to be the fact that both their families & I expect the mother of his child do consider them to be married.