what is a reasonable monthly spend on food and kids?

presterjohn · 18 July 2018 at 4:20PM

I am pulling my hair out with my Mrs at the moment. I have never when single had debt problems apart from when I was out of work for a bit years ago and am a reasonable but not perfect budgeter.

At the moment we (mostly me) are maxing out our £1000 overdraft and having to top up the joint account out of my personal savings which is mostly made up out of an inheritance. that money was always supposed to be for real things like replacing the TV and putting new windows in etc.

My Mrs thinks it is reasonable to do this and I am unreasonable to expect us to basically live within our means.

We have no mortgage and pay between us £1650 into a joint account which leaves us both a few hundred quid in our own accounts for running a car each and general personal expenses etc.

using Martins website amongst other things I have got our fixed expenses easily under £600 per month but my Mrs can't manage on the remaining £1000 per month. That money has to buy the food, kids clothes and kids clubs and general expenses plus some child care ( I think we are down to about 8 hours a week on that now).

I think that two adults and two kids should be able to comfortably manage on £250 a week and maybe even put a few quid aside.
To give an example of how stressful I am finding this yesterday I spent all day renegotiating all or expenditure and managed to get some savings and when I told the Mrs she said good because I need to buy presents for the boy's teachers now that they are ending the school year. I could weep. She can't see why this annoys me.

[Deleted User] · 18 July 2018 at 4:38PM

Maxing out a £1000 overdraft sounds like debt problems to me - though you say you don't have any?

£1000 should easily last 2 months or more on food and stuff for the kids - why are you buying them clothes every month?

MovingForwards · 18 July 2018 at 4:59PM

Ask your Mrs to put bill money into the joint account, if that's how you do it, and keep food/kids money in her own account. Say you cannot keep using the savings as it is for emergencies/repairs. Ask her to write down everything she spends and both of you go through it at the end of the month to see where she is frittering the money away.

As it stands if it carries on the way it is you are both gona be in poo street with no emergency money and a stack of debts instead.

presterjohn · 18 July 2018 at 5:00PM

Gary, I'm not. That's an average spend across the year but it includes everything for the kids such as days out and tickets for theme parks etc.

presterjohn · 18 July 2018 at 5:06PM

MovingForwards wrote: »

Ask your Mrs to put bill money into the joint account, if that's how you do it, and keep food/kids money in her own account. Say you cannot keep using the savings as it is for emergencies/repairs. Ask her to write down everything she spends and both of you go through it at the end of the month to see where she is frittering the money away.

As it stands if it carries on the way it is you are both gona be in poo street with no emergency money and a stack of debts instead.

That's what I try and do but she either walks away or starts changing the subject to something I have done wrong which will be entirely unrelated.

Ideally, I would like to close the joint account take all the bills back in my name only and then just give her £100 a week and tell her to cover everything else but she does not think this is reasonable.

[Deleted User] · 18 July 2018 at 5:22PM

presterjohn wrote: »

Gary, I'm not. That's an average spend across the year but it includes everything for the kids such as days out and tickets for theme parks etc.

Then £1000 should easily, easily last 1 month if not two.

Anthorn · 18 July 2018 at 5:37PM

Subjective and depends on what food is eaten. Living within one's means won't be an option if the family is starving half the week and the kids are barefoot and dressed in rags.

Where it is very difficult if not impossible to live within one's means possibly the only option is to increase your means.i.e. send the Mrs out to work and farm out the kids for free to grandparents.

To answer the question I visit the supermarket twice a week for food and sundries just for myself and I spend an average of £23 on each visit Milk and bread is delivered and costs another 6 quid a week.

EssexExile · 18 July 2018 at 5:45PM

Does it make sense to have a £1000 overdraft when you have savings?

Anthorn · 18 July 2018 at 6:15PM

EssexExile wrote: »

Does it make sense to have a £1000 overdraft when you have savings?

It makes sense to me. I have a £1000 overdraft facility and savings. If I spent the savings I wouldn't have any savings to cope with a rainy day and in that case I would need an overdraft lol.

I do know that it is the position of MSE to not use a loan / overdraft / credit card and to spend savings. But that doesn't make any sense to me at all. Sure, in doing so you avoid interest but that's just about the only advantage and the total amount of interest is dependent on the term.

Shakin_Steve · 18 July 2018 at 7:11PM

How much, exactly, is 8 hours childcare. If your £250 a week includes this childcare, I'd say you were doing rather well.

Terry_Towelling · 18 July 2018 at 9:12PM

This isn't a money problem - it is a relationship issue and I have no idea what the solution is. You could cave in and keep paying off the overdraft but really you must find a way to talk it through together.

If the excess spending is on a debit card, you could cut the overdraft to zero such that some of the excess spending might be 'declined' at POS - but that could divide your relationship even further.

You need to sort out the relationship issue and try to work out why your wife is unwilling to engage with you on the subject of cost-management/cutting.

what is a reasonable monthly spend on food and kids?

Comments

Categories

Get our FREE Weekly email full of deals & guides - and it’s spam-free