Should I sell my flat in London and be mortgage free?

Beeboid1 · 11 July 2018 at 11:28AM

Hello
This is a financial/emotional dilemma! A bit of background: I am 47 and have a flat in Lewisham in London with about £90K mortgage left on it but plenty of equity. I left London 6 months ago to move to Lincolnshire to live with my boyfriend but have struggled to find work (comms) since. My flat is rented out up to the middle of September. I am being wholly supported by my boyfriend who to keep me up here is content to give me a lump sum of around £30k to make me feel more secure and additional money each year which he gets as part of his divorce. He says I can carry on looking for a job/part time job. Dilemma - if we split up I am in a terrible position and relying on him totally makes me feel insecure/uncomfortable in itself but not that he gives me any reason to think so, just unfamiliar territory, supported myself financially since I was 17 through heaps of pooey scenarios.
Questions:
1) Do I sell my flat and buy something else with the proceeds up north and live mortgage free with a rental income? (Thinking Leeds or York) and carry on looking for work whilst continuing to rely on my partner for support. ie is the being mortgage free bit the most important aspect of financial security notwithstanding all the other emotional soup/future financial security?
2) Go back to London and try and get temp work/another job and carry on paying the mortgage?
Hope this makes sense!

bexster1975 · 11 July 2018 at 12:42PM

Do you want to live up north or in London?

I would be much more than uncomfortable with a partner giving me £30k a year ( is that correct?!)

Surely if you aren't working you are hom making and don't need £30k pocket money for that. Not sure I've understood this bit right.

Frankly, I'd want a job for a range of reasons, but in particular if you are left on your own again. I'd say leaving London is a no brainer, but that's a personal view. Being mortgage free is a huge bonus as it reduces essential bills massively.

Good luck whatever you decide

Bexster

Beeboid1 · 11 July 2018 at 1:05PM

Thanks for taking the time to respond Bexster and for your thoughts. I am from Lincolnshire originally and yes it's peaceful and beautiful but jobs in my field with a decent salary are hard to come by. I earned nearly £49k in London and whilst I don't expect that, I don't think I will be able to have a secure future on £15k at my age. I don't have much pension put by and limited savings so being out the work place for any length of time is a concern. Yes I am earning my keep as cook, bottle washer, gardener and decorator but need financial security for the future hence my partner's offer but obviously that money wouldn't last forever although it's a big sum. He would like me to stay at home as he likes to provide but that puts me in a vulnerable position if we split up. Anyway, it helps settle my mind a bit regarding selling up in London so thank you.

bexster1975 · 11 July 2018 at 1:12PM

I think selling up in London seems the way forward. Could you change your job? Work from home/online? Or go in to London a day or two a week? Worth exploring as options.

I hope you make the right choice for you. Think about your own priorities, you won't make the wrong choice.

Bexster

Beeboid1 · 11 July 2018 at 1:23PM

Hello again
Thank you for your feedback and suggestions.

I would like to change jobs and got the '7 Questions to find your purpose' book and the conclusion I came to was that I should have gone into interior design which is something I have loved since I was a small child when I so wanted tie backs for my curtains in my bedroom! ha ha.I like making my environment nice. I want to have a go at upcycling and will have a look at the temping from afar route that you suggested. Very best wishes to you and have a very good day yourself.

edinburgher · 11 July 2018 at 4:45PM

I agree with Bexster, but would be running at a million miles an hour away from the "pocket money from divorce"/"wants to provide for me" talk, which sounds messy and a tiny bit controlling.

Please don't misconstrue, I'm sure your boyfriend is a lovely chap and is trying to be kind. As an individual, however, I'd want plenty of clear blue water between my finances, those of my partner and any exes (of either of you).

I think you share the same concerns, which is why selling London place and retaining your financial independence up North is probably a good shout.

Ps. Is Lewisham considered fancy these days? I remember visiting 10-12 years ago while flat hunting and we settled on Bromley as a decent commuting compromise.

tootallulah · 11 July 2018 at 9:21PM

I am in Newark, 1hr 15 mins to London, 1 hr to York. I bought a house here kept my London job, over time moved from London to a job up here on much less money but a good pension etc.

I would keep Lewisham, move somewhere you can get a job, buy a 2nd house turn Lewisham into a btl. That way you can pay off London and the new place bit by bit, by the time you retire Lewisham is your pension and you are mortgage free.

kazwookie · 11 July 2018 at 9:24PM

Your boy friend is going to give you £30K ?? blimey. What does he expect in return for this money?

daisy_1571 · 11 July 2018 at 10:44PM

Hi

If you are happy with boyfriend and new area then don't borrow trouble yet by working out what will happen if you split up, hopefully that won't happen.

Perhaps set up the Lewisham flat as a proper buy to let so it is covering its own expenses and hopefully actually paying you something. That way you still have it to fall back on should you ever need or want to move back to London either on your own or together- from what I understand of london prices you aren't ever buying something else at that sort of price in the future so any future mortgage would be much larger.

Perhaps bf is suggesting the cash as a way for you to have a lump sum so you can feel independent of asking all the time for money towards shopping or your own expenses etc ? Just guessing but if so and your relationship is strong and equal in all the important areas then maybe you should accept this, draw up some sort of agreement whether this is a gift, long term loan, short term loan, deferred repayments for x years/months, is there any interest to be charged etc (drawing this up properly will help for any future arguments or (hopefully never needed) if you do split up so that suddenly the 'gift given with love' becomes 'oh i need that money back by end of the month' as can happen in the best of relationships if they turn sour) and plan hat you will do to increase this money into an in one stream. It could be down payment on another buy to let, taking lease of shop or other premises to set up your own business in comms or something else, split up and doled it monthly 'wages while you study something new that might be in demand in your new area. Etc etc, I'm sure you can think of lots more ideas.

Without knowing your situation we can only surmise but of course I'm sure you will have taken account of the fact he is already divorced from at least one relationship and there appears to be ongoing financial responsibilities therefore it would certainly be best to keep your finances separate and above board (back to the drawn up, signed and witnessed agreement here with each keeping an original copy) just in case that arrangement is ever recalculated and you find your flat taken into account for his divorce finances.

As I say, just surmising and no need for you to answer any of this on here publicly if you dont wish, its just for your own thoughts

Daisy xx

Beeboid1 · 12 July 2018 at 12:48PM

Big thank you to everyone who has been kind enough to share their thoughts which I appreciate.
To Edinburgher- My boyfriend is just trying to be kind but it is a very difficult situation given the rubbish job prospects. I have applied for junior things and stuff on the same level and got nowhere! Very frustrating. Good point about getting something in writing though as he has already had to supplement my existence.
Bits of Lewisham are very desirable - Forest Hill, Ladywell, Blackheath! They are trying to regenerate ie build lots of new flats but it is still somewhat downtrodden in the town centre. They are supposed to be extending the Bakerloo line out there by 2026 or something like that which would be a good boon. Very good transport networks with the trains/DLR and buses but tube would be better.
To Tootaloolah - that was some commute you did. The cost must have been astronomical. I looked at that from Donny although it would take me a good 40 minutes to drive there and £12K+ a year! ouch. Still maybe worth considering if it was a well paid job and if I bought somewhere in Newark to cut the other bit of the journey out. I don't fancy taking on more debt to be honest. Lured by the thought of mortgage free but really concerned about work situation up here.
To Daisy1571 - I have told my partner I don't think its healthy to be totally reliant on him and we keep going over and over the situation and the figures. Given my well paid job I have already lost £16k and £3k pension so I am not in a great place with all of this. Good point re getting something in writing so it is all explained and not he said she said later on. The money is to make up for losing so much money coming up here and the difficulty finding work (I had to move as his kids are still at school). It would pay for living expenses and contribute towards food although that is robbing peter to pay paul as it's all 'his' money. I feel guilty buying a magazine so it really sucks. I should get a decision tomorrow on whether my tenant wants to buy my place so that will be the next step in the decision making process. Blurghhh.
Thank you all again. xx

tootallulah · 12 July 2018 at 6:21PM

When I was doing it it cost £7k a year!!!!!! but I had a very highly paid job and I only fully commuted the last year before that I went down on a Monday, came back on Thursday, worked at home on Friday. Hard decision for you good luck with your tenant.

Should I sell my flat in London and be mortgage free?

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